Game Thread Archives/(Un)Fortunately

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(azkar: 24 Jan 2007)

Another word / story game. The idea behind this one is that each person contributes one sentence. Each sentence alternates between, "Fortunately, blah blah blah," and "Unfortunately, blah blah blah." 

An example: 
    Quote:
    One day, Joe decided to buy a taco. 
    Unfortunately, when Joe got to the taco stand, he found that they had closed down. 
    Fortunately, the former owner, Jim, was a close friend of Joe's, and offered to make Joe a taco. 
    Unfortunately, Jim failed to tell Joe that the taco stand had been closed down for health violations. 
    Etc...

I'll start things rolling ... 

It was a bright and sunny day. "A perfect day for a bike ride!" thought Judy. 

Unfortunately, Judy's mom wouldn't let her go out until she had finished all her homework.

Archivist's Notes

The following modifications were made to the text as posted by the original authors:

  • Interleaved commentary was removed.
  • Accommodations for wiki markup.


2007

(puppernutter Posted: 24 Jan 2007 13:24)
Fortunately, half of her teachers were out sick with the flu, so she had very little homework.
(De2164 Posted: 24 Jan 2007 13:33)
Unfortunately, the homework required a book she left at school.
(azkar Posted: 24 Jan 2007 13:37)
Fortunately, the school was just across the street from Judy's house.
(ortonmc Posted: 24 Jan 2007 13:41)
Unfortunately, the doors were locked, it being after school hours.
(megani Posted: 24 Jan 2007 13:44)
Fortunately, she was friendly with Jack the Jolly Janitor, who let her into her classroom to get the book.
(azkar Posted: 24 Jan 2007 13:53)
Unfortunately, Jack the Jolly Janitor (best name ever) was sick with the same flu Judy's teachers had, and coughed on Judy a few times.
(ortonmc Posted: 24 Jan 2007 13:55)
Fortunately, Judy had been vaccinated as a precaution.
(tunelera Posted: 24 Jan 2007 13:57)
Unfortunately, the vaccination was from an expired batch of vaccine.
(megani Posted: 24 Jan 2007 14:00)
Unfortunately, the vaccine hadn't been properly refrigerated, so she got sick anyway, and gave it to her whole family, some of whom due to a genetic flaw were particularly susceptible, and died violent nasty deaths over the weekend...and Judy's homework still wasn't done.
Edit: Tunelera beat me to the idea!
(azkar Posted: 24 Jan 2007 14:10)
Fortunately, Judy's mother, who was stopping Judy from going out in the first place, was one of the ones who died a violent nasty death.
(sorry .. the only fortunately I could come up with from that involved making Judy a horrible person )
(SMH Posted: 24 Jan 2007 14:15)
Unfortunately, Judy's grandmother, who took her in, was even meaner than her mother.
(DMkazoo Posted: 24 Jan 2007 14:21)
Fortunately, Gran was hard of hearing and couldn't tell when Judy snuck out.
(azkar Posted: 24 Jan 2007 14:24)
Unfortunately, when Judy snuck out, and was finally able to ride her bike, she realised no one had ever taught her how to ride a bike.
(tunelera Posted: 24 Jan 2007 14:26)
Fortunately, her bicycle had training wheels.
(Arie Tuinman Posted: 24 Jan 2007 14:33)
Unfortunately the manual was in Japanese.
(megani Posted: 24 Jan 2007 14:36)
Fortunately, Jack the Jolly Janitor could read Japanese and was a Bike Riding with Training Wheels expert.
(ortonmc Posted: 24 Jan 2007 14:39)
Unfortunately, the training wheels were not very sturdy, and one broke off.
(azkar Posted: 24 Jan 2007 14:43)
Fortunately, Jack was nearby when the wheel broke, and was able to catch Judy.
(DMkazoo Posted: 24 Jan 2007 14:45)
Unfortunately, a neighbor mistook Jack the Jolly Janitor for his evil twin, Jim the Jailbird, and called the police.
(azkar Posted: 24 Jan 2007 15:07)
Fortunately, all the police were at the local Tim Hortons, and no one was available to follow up on the neighbour's call.
(alexsouthmayd Posted: 24 Jan 2007 15:12)
Unfortunately, Jim the Jailbird was nearby, and he kidnapped Judy.
(megani Posted: 24 Jan 2007 15:18)
Fortunately, Judy had learned Aikido and other Japanese martial arts from Jolly Jack, and had been practicing frequently, so she disabled Jim (who as a consequence will not father any future children, which is another fortunate happenstance) and escaped right outside the Tim Hortons where the police were now effectively quite wired on great coffee.
(tunelera Posted: 24 Jan 2007 15:25)
Unfortunately, the police were so wired on coffee that they all tried to leave the restaurant simultaneously to help young Judy and they got stuck in the door, resulting in a scene that could have come from a silent movie.
(ortonmc Posted: 24 Jan 2007 15:30)
Fortunately, it was not silent, so their yells for help were easily heard by numerous bystanders.
(megani Posted: 24 Jan 2007 15:39)
Unfortunately, the bystanders were students from the local School for the Blind, out on a field trip, so they couldn't see the farce at the doorway, nor could they see Judy kick Jim's butt.
(azkar Posted: 24 Jan 2007 15:51)
Fortunately, the students' teacher was with them, and not blind.
(SMH Posted: 24 Jan 2007 16:09)
Unfortunately, at that moment the police broke free of the jam, and the teacher was flattened by the rush of flat-feet.
(stygiania Posted: 24 Jan 2007 16:20)
Fortunately, the medics were right behind the police and they were able to rescue the teacher.
(ortonmc Posted: 24 Jan 2007 16:49)
Unfortunately, through an oversight, the ambulance had run out of gas. (or petrol, whichever you prefer)
(alisea Posted: 24 Jan 2007 16:56)
Fortunately, the teacher was a cartoon character and thus able to go from 2D to 3D again by herself, and the ambulance was not needed anymore.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 24 Jan 2007 17:00)
Unfortunately, even though the teacher was not a living human being, the incident still broke her structure and she was in dire need of repair.
(DMkazoo Posted: 24 Jan 2007 17:28)
Fortunately, Judy was an expert at origami.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 24 Jan 2007 17:39)
Unfortunately, Judy was suffering from rheumatism, and her dexterity was not what it used to be.
(azkar Posted: 24 Jan 2007 17:46)
Fortunately, the teacher was a fan of the new Cubist look.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 24 Jan 2007 17:52)
Unfortunately, cubism was not allowed on these premises.
(azkar Posted: 24 Jan 2007 18:54)
Fortunately, Judy and the teacher weren't interested in paying heed to The Man, and were able to escape unharmed.
(ortonmc Posted: 24 Jan 2007 19:30)
Unfortunately, a strong gust of wind picked up the teacher and carried her off into the distance.
(azkar Posted: 24 Jan 2007 20:01)
Fortunately, Judy remembered a story she read about a sorcerer who could grant anyone's wishes, and went off in search of mauve brick road and some saphire slippers.
(Chrome Posted: 24 Jan 2007 20:28)
Unfortunately, Judy had inherited color-blindness from her mean grandmother, and couldn't tell what color "mauve" was.
(azkar Posted: 24 Jan 2007 21:16)
Fortunately, with the help of Mapquest, Judy didn't need to discern the actual colour of the mauve brick road.
(stygiania Posted: 24 Jan 2007 21:41)
Unfortunately, the mauve brick road entered a new subdivision so most of the road wasn't available on Mapquest.
(puppernutter Posted: 24 Jan 2007 22:04)
Fortunately, she saw the teacher flapping in the wind hung up on some tree branches.
(jjz Posted: 24 Jan 2007 22:13)
Unfortunately the branches snapped and the teacher fell out of sight before Judy could determine the coordinates.
(ortonmc Posted: 24 Jan 2007 23:19)
Fortunately, the teacher (and the branches) fell into a pond with a loud splash, and Judy was able to figure out where she fell from the sound.
(azkar Posted: 24 Jan 2007 23:43)
Unfortunately, the pond was on the other side of an impenetrable forest.
(De2164 Posted: 25 Jan 2007 02:21)
Fortunately, there was a hot-air balloon nearby and she was able to fly over the forest.
(Chrys Posted: 25 Jan 2007 02:28)
Unfortunately, Judy ran out of fuel and the balloon landed on precipice while the teacher sank soggily into the pond.
(lvl Posted: 25 Jan 2007 03:10)
Fortunately Judy was not harmed by the hard landing.
(SMH Posted: 25 Jan 2007 03:26)
Unfortunately, the basket of the balloon began to topple over the edge of the cliff.
(Tamise Posted: 25 Jan 2007 05:36)
Fortunately, there was a large trampoline at the bottom of the cliff.
(azkar Posted: 25 Jan 2007 08:29)
Unfortunately, the basket crashed to the ground, missing the trampoline completely.
(tunelera Posted: 25 Jan 2007 08:52)
Fortunately, Judy managed to jump out of the basket as it toppled off the edge and landed in the huge pile of recently-picked cotton that was waiting to be loaded in a truck.
(SMH Posted: 25 Jan 2007 09:28)
Unfortunately, Judy was loaded into the truck with the cotton.
(Eryngium Posted: 25 Jan 2007 09:38)
Fortunately, she had a pocket loom (knitting ensues)
(stygiania Posted: 25 Jan 2007 09:57)
Unfortunately, it is difficult to knit fiber which has not been spun.
(Chrys Posted: 25 Jan 2007 11:08)
Fortunately, the cotton gin was on the blink and so Judy had plenty of time to knit while being needled by boll weevils.
(ortonmc Posted: 25 Jan 2007 13:47)
Unfortunately, the weevils were so distracting that Judy couldn't concentrate on her knitting.
(megani Posted: 25 Jan 2007 13:55)
Fortunately, the weevils provided a tasty snack and much needed nutrition during Judy's ordeal.
(De2164 Posted: 25 Jan 2007 14:02)
Unfortunately, the fast moving truck hit a big bump and Judy was thrown out.
(ortonmc Posted: 25 Jan 2007 14:27)
Fortunately, she had a parachute.
(azkar Posted: 25 Jan 2007 14:28)
Unfortunately, parachutes aren't generally helpful for a two foot fall.
(stygiania Posted: 25 Jan 2007 15:23)
Fortunately, she landed in the Chuck E. Cheese ball pit.
(cindydoll Posted: 25 Jan 2007 15:26)
Unfortunately, Chuck didn't want her in his ball pit.
(Chrys Posted: 25 Jan 2007 15:55)
Fortunately, Judy still had her parachute and was able to wrap herself in a sari, pose as Ghandi, and get free pizza . (vegetarian, of course.)
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 25 Jan 2007 16:00)
Unfortunately, Judy was lactose intolerant and ended up with a huge belly ache after consuming to big pieces of pizza.
(ortonmc Posted: 25 Jan 2007 16:14)
Fortunately, a used parachute makes a splendid barf bag.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 25 Jan 2007 16:17)
Unfortunately, Judit fell in her vomit and is drowning as we speak...
(lvl Posted: 25 Jan 2007 16:22)
Fortunately, meanwhile, the teacher had sucked up enough water from the pool to become three dimensional again.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 25 Jan 2007 16:28)
Unfortunately, the teacher was leaking.
(cindydoll Posted: 25 Jan 2007 16:44)
Fortunately, she had Fix-a-Flat, and she was able to repair the leak.
(azkar Posted: 25 Jan 2007 16:52)
Unfortunately, while the teacher is now three-dimensional again, she's mostly unaware of Judy's recent ordeals, and doesn't know where Judy is.
(ortonmc Posted: 25 Jan 2007 17:26)
Fortunately, a policeman passing by (on his way home from the incident at Tim Horton's) noticed Judy's plight, and rescued her.
(azkar Posted: 25 Jan 2007 17:52)
Unfortunately, Judy was now completely lost.
(Cally Soukup Posted: 25 Jan 2007 19:17)
Fortunately, there was a policeman handy right there to ask directions from.
(stygiania Posted: 25 Jan 2007 21:39)
Unfortunately, the policeman didn't know the correct directions.
(DMkazoo Posted: 25 Jan 2007 21:52)
Fortunately, Judy looked down and saw that the sidewalk was paved with bricks stamped "Mauve Br. Co."
(megani Posted: 25 Jan 2007 21:54)
Fortunately, the policeman (Patrick the Peppy Policeman) was equipped with an iPhone, so he connected to the internet, got directions, rescued the hapless deflated-inflated teacher, captured and arrested creepy Jim, made sure the cotton was safely delivered just where it was supposed to be (and stepped on the boll weevils that hadn't been eaten yet by Judy), got Judy back to her mourning grandmother so she could get back to the homework that started all this mess in the first place, and then began to fill out the paperwork that must be filled out when arresting people and rescuing people and goods, which would take a while and probably require another trip to Tim Hortons.
(ortonmc Posted: 25 Jan 2007 23:19)
Unfortunately, Judy's grandmother, overcome by all the excitement, suffered a stroke.
(jjz Posted: 25 Jan 2007 23:35)
Fortunately she was 109 years old, was already enjoying a well-earned rest, and had made and paid for all the funeral arrangements so when she sat lightly on Judy's shoulder Judy knew that her grandmother was still with her and would be for a long time.
(De2164 Posted: 26 Jan 2007 00:21)
Unfortunately, while Judy once again started to do her homework she got a paper cut that sever a vein and ruins her 50 page report as blood spurts out.
(cindydoll Posted: 26 Jan 2007 00:46)
Fortunately, the report was on hemophilia and the teacher thought that it was nicely illustrated.
(Chrys Posted: 26 Jan 2007 02:01)
Unfortunately, other children, desperate for good grades began to cut themselves and bleed all over their papers.
(stygiania Posted: 26 Jan 2007 05:16)
Fortunately, their parents pushed vitamin K so they didn't bleed too much.
(Eryngium Posted: 26 Jan 2007 06:00)
Unfortunately the blood was contaminated
(De2164 Posted: 26 Jan 2007 06:07)
Fortunately, the school nurse was able to stop the spread of the blood to other students.
(jjz Posted: 26 Jan 2007 06:20)
Unfortunately our storytellers have gruesome imaginations, so Judy sighed, and contemplated how she could change the course of the adventure.
(SMH Posted: 26 Jan 2007 06:36)
Fortunately, at this moment, Judy spotted a hedgehog.
(Eryngium Posted: 26 Jan 2007 06:37)
Unfortunately England get trashed at the cricket. Again!
(De2164 Posted: 26 Jan 2007 06:40)
Fortunately, the story line could be less gruesome, but every time Judy does something good, there has to be an Unfortunately, which leads us down the more morbid paths of life.
(stygiania Posted: 26 Jan 2007 07:47)
Unfortunately, Judy decided being good wasn't getting the story anywhere so she ran off with a biker-dude.
(Tamise Posted: 26 Jan 2007 07:50)
Fortunately, the biker-dude was a very safe driver.
(lvl Posted: 26 Jan 2007 07:54)
Unfortunately, Judy (who If I recall correctly still can't ride a bike without training rollers) insisted on driving.
(DMkazoo Posted: 26 Jan 2007 08:15)
Fortunately, the motorcycle had a side-car.
(SMH Posted: 26 Jan 2007 08:49)
Unfortunately, one of the wheels came loose.
(DMkazoo Posted: 26 Jan 2007 08:55)
Fortunately, the wheel became loose while Judy was polishing the chrome too vigourously.
(Tamise Posted: 26 Jan 2007 09:09)
Unfortunately, it spun off and hit the biker-dude.
(Chrys Posted: 26 Jan 2007 09:41)
Fortunately, the biker-dude had purchased All-State's "biker-dude loose wheel" protection and was duly recompensed for his shattered knee.
(Arie Tuinman Posted: 26 Jan 2007 11:06)
Unfortunately the biker dude wasn't as relaxed as his title seemed to indicate and he was in an agressive mood....
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 26 Jan 2007 11:58)
Fortunately, the biker dude's hippy parents had taught him to deal with his aggressive moods in a non violent manner.
(stygiania Posted: 26 Jan 2007 12:04)
Unfortunately, this involved giving huge sums of money to a fly-by-night non-violence guru.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 26 Jan 2007 12:16)
Fortunately, the biker dude's parents were phony hippy, would had left him a fortune when they deceased.
(azkar Posted: 26 Jan 2007 12:44)
Unfortunately, the phoney hippy parents in question hadn't actually died, yet.
(Chrys Posted: 26 Jan 2007 12:51)
Fortunately, Judy didn't stick around to see how the biker-dude dealt with his intense emotional duress.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 26 Jan 2007 13:11)
Unfortunately, Judy missed an amazing display of inner peace.
(JulietS Posted: 26 Jan 2007 15:14)
Fortunately, Judy met Elston.
(ortonmc Posted: 26 Jan 2007 15:37)
Unfortunately Elston was in a big hurry and didn't notice Judy as he rushed by.
(Arie Tuinman Posted: 26 Jan 2007 15:59)
Fortunately, Judy had Marzipan to lure Elston.
(alohacurl Posted: 26 Jan 2007 16:10)
Unfortunately, Elston had a tusk-ache.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 26 Jan 2007 16:14)
Fortunately, Judy did not have a clue what a tusk-ache was, so she did not care.
(puppernutter Posted: 26 Jan 2007 16:14)
Fortunately, Elston, being the well-mannered elepahant that he is, accepte the marzipan, thanked Judy, and tucked it way for later when his tusk-ache was gone.
(Arie Tuinman Posted: 26 Jan 2007 17:25)
Unfortunately, Judy still had no clue whatsoever about displays and inner peace........
(De2164 Posted: 26 Jan 2007 17:30)
Fortunately, Elston saw the troubled look in Judy's eyes and had her sit down to practice Yoga with him.
(jjz Posted: 26 Jan 2007 17:33)
Fortunately Judy did know the therapeutic value of chocolate marzipan and was delighted when within minutes of Elston changing his mind and eating the marzipan he roared with delight that he was feeling so much better and invited her over to teach her how to find her inner peace.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 26 Jan 2007 17:34)
Unfortunately, Judy's hearing was not so good, and when Elston mentioned yoga, she thought he had said "yogurt", and she ran screaming. (Since her lactose intolerance has started, she is scared of all dairy products.)
(De2164 Posted: 26 Jan 2007 17:42)
Fortunately, Elston thought she was practicing scream therapy and followed her while also screaming.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 26 Jan 2007 17:45)
Unfortunately, when Judy heard him scream, she thought he was a monster, and she ran directly into the river.
(ortonmc Posted: 26 Jan 2007 18:18)
Fortunately, the water was nice and warm.
(jjz Posted: 26 Jan 2007 18:21)
Unfortunately for Judy, Elston followed her in and began throwing his trunk around spraying water over himself and Judy, who thought she might drown.
(azkar Posted: 26 Jan 2007 18:25)
Fortunately, Elston was really trying to save Judy from the river, and was throwing his trunk around in an attempt to catch Judy who was flailing about.
(Arie Tuinman Posted: 26 Jan 2007 19:08)
Unfortunately he accidentally knocked her out while trying this.
(cindydoll Posted: 26 Jan 2007 19:43)
Fortunately, he had some smelling salts packed away in his trunk. (Bad joke--I know )
(azkar Posted: 26 Jan 2007 20:05)
Unfortunately, the salts were disolved by the river water.
(puppernutter Posted: 26 Jan 2007 20:08)
Fortunately the river was very cold due to the snowmelt from up north, so Judy came to quickly anyway.
(JulietS Posted: 26 Jan 2007 20:38)
Unfortunately hot and cold running smelling salts are very unpleasant.
(cindydoll Posted: 26 Jan 2007 20:47)
Fortunately, they combined to produce tepid smelling salts, which have a lovely perfume.
(ortonmc Posted: 26 Jan 2007 20:54)
Unfortunately, the perfume attracted a large number of wasps.
(De2164 Posted: 26 Jan 2007 21:51)
Fortunately, they were still in the river so they were not stung.
(azkar Posted: 26 Jan 2007 21:53)
Unfortunately, they were still in the frigid river, quickly loosing body temperature.
(De2164 Posted: 26 Jan 2007 22:15)
Fortunately, Elston was able to kill the wasps with a trunk full of cold water.
(ortonmc Posted: 26 Jan 2007 23:54)
Unfortunately, in so doing, he got leeches inside his trunk.
(tunelera Posted: 27 Jan 2007 00:08)
Fortunately, since he had been suffering fever and ague and (as everyone who has proofed medical books of a certain age knows) leeches are applied as a cure for many diseases, they successfully ridded Elston of the symptoms he had been suffering from.
(azkar Posted: 27 Jan 2007 00:12)
Unfortunately, the leaches weren't content to leave after curing Elton's ailments.
(ortonmc Posted: 27 Jan 2007 00:22)
Fortunately, an elephant's sneeze is strong enough to dislodge even the most persistent leeches.
(cindydoll Posted: 27 Jan 2007 00:32)
Unfortunately, the massive sneeze gave Elston a hernia.
(jjz Posted: 27 Jan 2007 05:18)
Fortunately the leeches knew how to treat the hernia and Elston was soon feeling better and on his way to the Gingerbread House where he knew he could find chocolate marzipan.
(Arie Tuinman Posted: 27 Jan 2007 07:31)
Unfortunately Elston got separated from Judy for his massive sneeze blew her away, many miles from him.
(De2164 Posted: 27 Jan 2007 07:34)
Fortunately, now alone again Judy made her way back home.
(stygiania Posted: 27 Jan 2007 08:23)
Unfortunately, Judy's home was destroyed by a hurricane and State Farm refused to cover the damages.
(Tamise Posted: 27 Jan 2007 08:26)
Fortunately, she was able to stay in the barn which, rather miraculously, wasn't damaged in the hurricane.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 27 Jan 2007 10:06)
Unfortunately, she found a mouse in the barn, and she had to leave because of her fear of rodents.
(ortonmc Posted: 27 Jan 2007 12:01)
Fortunately, the mouse ran outside when she opened the door.
(Chrys Posted: 27 Jan 2007 12:33)
Unfortunately, Elston had tracked down Judy, but when he saw the mouse run out of the barn, he stampeded straight through the back of the barn, running directly over Judy, who by now had developed a severe case of elephantiphobia.
(ortonmc Posted: 27 Jan 2007 12:44)
Fortunately Judy only had the breath knocked out of her, and did not suffer any major injury.
(cindydoll Posted: 27 Jan 2007 12:47)
Unfortunately Elston, in his panic over the mouse, destroyed the barn and Judy is again homeless.
(Tamise Posted: 27 Jan 2007 13:03)
Fortunately, she can stay at a neighbour's house until she finds somewhere permanent.
(azkar Posted: 27 Jan 2007 13:16)
Unfortunately, the neighbours do not have room for Judy's grandmother, who is also now homeless.
(SMH Posted: 27 Jan 2007 13:19)
Fortunately the other kids think its kewl that Judy's grandmother is a baglady, so she is now very popular.
(De2164 Posted: 27 Jan 2007 13:29)
Unfortunately, grandmother is a ghost baglady, because she had died of a stroke earlier.
(stygiania Posted: 27 Jan 2007 13:44)
Fortunately, she left Judy a ton of money so Judy can build a new house.
(ortonmc Posted: 27 Jan 2007 13:55)
Unfortunately, it might take over a year for the will to go through probate.
(cindydoll Posted: 27 Jan 2007 13:56)
Fortunately, Judy encountered a nice televangelist who offered to handle her money for her.
(azkar Posted: 27 Jan 2007 13:57)
Unfortunately, the televangelist was crooked, and took whatever remaining financial resources Judy had.
(ortonmc Posted: 27 Jan 2007 14:01)
Fortunately, the policemen from Tim Horton's quickly arrested him before he could abscond with Judy's money.
(stygiania Posted: 27 Jan 2007 14:08)
Unfortunately, the policemen left Tim Horton's without paying so the counterman called the county sheriff to come arrest the local police.
(megani Posted: 27 Jan 2007 14:18)
Fortunately, the sheriff reminded the counterman to talk to his boss, who knows that all the officers of the law have running tabs at Tim Hortons.
(jjz Posted: 27 Jan 2007 18:04)
Unfortunately, while their debts were getting higher and higher, no one had paid Tim Hortons (what's a Tim Hortons?) so the boss was not willing to let the police run off this time.
(stygiania Posted: 27 Jan 2007 18:07)
Fortunately, one of the officers won the lottery so he created a Tim Horton's donut shop endowment so the officers had free crullers and coffee for life.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 27 Jan 2007 18:28)
Unfortunately, too much coffee and donuts rendered the officers useless.
(SallyPursell Posted: 27 Jan 2007 19:12)
Fortunately, many kindly people had responded to the telephone request for a pledge to the police benevolent fund, so none of the poor officers had a problem with paying his bills while on disability.
(ortonmc Posted: 27 Jan 2007 19:35)
Unfortunately, being out on disability can be really boring.
(stygiania Posted: 27 Jan 2007 19:37)
Fortunately, there are many DPers who are willing to help bored people on disability get into the fun world of proofing!
(Komowkwa Posted: 27 Jan 2007 20:56)
Unfortunately, too many DPers spend time on "Everything Else (except DP)"
(Vasa Posted: 27 Jan 2007 21:02)
Fortunately, most DPers don't know what Anything else is (except DP)
(stacy Posted: 27 Jan 2007 22:22)
Unfortunately, DPers have a tendency to forget to eat.
(DMkazoo Posted: 27 Jan 2007 22:44)
Fortunately, the fridge in Colorado is always stocked, causing Judy to start hitchhiking.
(ortonmc Posted: 27 Jan 2007 22:46)
Unfortunately, the first driver who picked her up was a kidnapper on the FBI's "Ten Most Wanted" list.
(jjz Posted: 28 Jan 2007 01:27)
Fortunately Judy managed to escape and the second driver who picked her up was a polite, well-spoken, young man who spent his days doing good deeds, something to which Judy herself aspired.
(SMH Posted: 28 Jan 2007 03:56)
Unfortunately, they had a flat tyre.
(Tamise Posted: 28 Jan 2007 04:59)
Fonrtunately, the young man kept a spare, so they were up and away in no time.
(De2164 Posted: 28 Jan 2007 08:53)
Unfortunately, a second hitchhiker was picked up and had the scent of being on the road a little too long without a shower.
(SMH Posted: 28 Jan 2007 08:59)
Fortunately the young man had a supply of deodorant in the glove box.
(Chrys Posted: 28 Jan 2007 09:00)
Unfortunately, deodorant can only cover so much odor. While driving with the windows down, Judy and her rescuer caught pneumonia.
(Komowkwa Posted: 28 Jan 2007 10:11)
Fortunately, they had health insurance.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 28 Jan 2007 10:18)
Unfortunately, both their insurances had lapsed for default of payment.
(stygiania Posted: 28 Jan 2007 10:48)
Fortunately, the local clinic had a "two-for-one" pneumonia special that day.
(ortonmc Posted: 28 Jan 2007 12:49)
Unfortunately it was a very popular special, and they had to wait in line for four hours before they could see a doctor.
(SallyPursell Posted: 28 Jan 2007 13:13)
Fortunately, also waiting in line was a nice minister, who could marry them while they waited.
(ortonmc Posted: 28 Jan 2007 13:16)
Unfortunately, Judy was underage.
(azkar Posted: 28 Jan 2007 13:22)
Fortunately, after Judy's entire family died, she had herself emancipated.
(Chrys Posted: 28 Jan 2007 13:39)
Unfortunately, when the nice young man realized that Judy couldn't even ride a bike with training wheels yet, he decided to drop her off at the local orphanage, promising to return when she had mastered her bike.
(alisea Posted: 28 Jan 2007 13:48)
Fortunately, the world's best unicycling juggler was volunteering at the orpanage, and he taught Judy some cool tricks.
(De2164 Posted: 28 Jan 2007 15:42)
Unfortunately, while practicing she got too close to a steep hill and went rolling very fast until she crashed.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 28 Jan 2007 16:22)
Fortunately, she hit some brush on the way down and her fall was not so bad.
(DMkazoo Posted: 28 Jan 2007 18:20)
Unfortunately it was poison oak.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 28 Jan 2007 19:06)
Fortunately, her clothes covered all her body, so she did not feel the poison oak impact.
(ortonmc Posted: 28 Jan 2007 19:08)
Unfortunately she now had the oil from the poison oak all over her clothes.
(azkar Posted: 28 Jan 2007 20:29)
Fortunately, Judy was part of the 10% of the population unaffected by poison oak.
(SallyPursell Posted: 28 Jan 2007 20:44)
Unfortunately, after she was taken to the hospital, she had an anaphylactic reaction to the pain pills they gave her.
(ortonmc Posted: 28 Jan 2007 21:17)
Fortunately, it was a very good hospital, and she received prompt and effective attention.
(Cally Soukup Posted: 28 Jan 2007 21:53)
Unfortunately, the emergency room doctor got a poison oak rash from her clothes.
(De2164 Posted: 28 Jan 2007 23:11)
Fortunately, it was a very good hospital, and he received prompt and effective attention.
(Vasa Posted: 29 Jan 2007 01:12)
Unfortunately, his lawyer also paid prompt and effective attention to it.
(jjz Posted: 29 Jan 2007 01:48)
Fortunately it was proven that no duty of care had been compromised and once ointment had been applied everyone's poison ivy rashes had disappeared so Judy was allowed to go home.
(Tamise Posted: 29 Jan 2007 01:55)
Unfortunately, she still had no home to go to.
(jjz Posted: 29 Jan 2007 06:49)
Fortunately a handsome doctor at the hospital, who had a vacant fully furnished unit attached to his house, invited Judy to live there, rent free.
(dcwilson Posted: 29 Jan 2007 07:02)
Unfortunately, the doctor's boyfriend was a terrible housekeeper and the flat was infested with all kinds of vermin.
(puppernutter Posted: 29 Jan 2007 07:10)
Fortunately, Judy's grandmother had also been a terrible house keeper, so living with vermin was normal to her.
(De2164 Posted: 29 Jan 2007 07:36)
Unfortunately, the health department condemed the entire building leaving Judy back on the street living in a cardboard box behind the hospital.
(Tamise Posted: 29 Jan 2007 07:57)
Fortunately, it never rained in that particular town and the sun always shone, so living in a box wasn't as bad as it could have been.
(Chrys Posted: 29 Jan 2007 09:00)
Unfortunately, Judy became obsessed with her former secure life with her mother and became a paranoid schizophrenic who believed purple elephants were chasing her.
(Kassy Posted: 29 Jan 2007 09:14)
Fortunately, the theme of Spielberg's next movie was purple elephants and so,
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 29 Jan 2007 11:58)
fortunately Judy was healed by watching it over and over.
(ortonmc Posted: 29 Jan 2007 12:01)
Unfortunately in the process she became addicted to watching TV.
(SallyPursell Posted: 29 Jan 2007 12:06)
Fortunately, a passing pedestrian was a TV producer who needed an actress for ahis new show, and the character she needed to play was a person who watched television all the time, had a complex about purple elephants, was resistant to poison ivy, and had an exciting past including learning bicycle tricks, so he hired her and set her up in an apartment in hollywood.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 29 Jan 2007 12:11)
Unfortunately, the Hollywood lifestyle quickly took its toll on Judy who became adicted to drugs, alcohol and paparazzi.
(De2164 Posted: 29 Jan 2007 13:30)
Fortunately, the ghost of Judy's baglady grandmother began to visit her and help kick the drug and drinking habits. Then grandmother haunted any Paparazzi that showed up anywhere near Judy when she wanted to be private.
(stygiania Posted: 29 Jan 2007 13:59)
Unfortunately, the ghosts of demised (and despised) paparazzi showed up to take on grandmother's ghost.
(tunelera Posted: 29 Jan 2007 14:03)
Fortunately, Judy's separated-at-birth identical twin sister, Ginger, came to visit one day and agreed to run interference with the reporters.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 29 Jan 2007 16:33)
Unfortunately, Judy's separated-at-birth identical twin sister, Ginger was an evil twin and had a hidden agenda.
(ortonmc Posted: 29 Jan 2007 16:41)
Fortunately, hidden agendas are clearly visible to ghosts.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 29 Jan 2007 16:52)
Unfortunately, Ginger was friends with the master ghost who made sure to muddle the waters.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 29 Jan 2007 21:19)
Fortunately Elston, who thought the record should be set straight about purple elephants, finally caught up with Judy just as she was launching a fleet of remote-controlled hot air balloons in an ineffectual yet determined effort to hunt up that mauve brick-paved thoroughfare.
(stygiania Posted: 30 Jan 2007 09:41)
Unfortunately, she forgot to buy batteries for the hot-air balloon controllers.
(ortonmc Posted: 30 Jan 2007 10:44)
Fortunately, they were solar-powered.
(tunelera Posted: 30 Jan 2007 10:52)
Unfortunately, it was cloudy that day.
(SMH Posted: 30 Jan 2007 11:05)
Fortunately this helped to keep Judy out of mischief.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 30 Jan 2007 11:25)
Unfortunately, Judy's separated-at-birth identical twin sister, Ginger, began singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" to the TV producer and the ghost of Judy's (and Ginger's) baglady grandmother, who were locked in discussion.
(DMkazoo Posted: 30 Jan 2007 22:34)
Fortunately, this song called to all the friends of Judy who were in the neighborhood, and they whisked her away in a floating bubble (well, a VW bug).
(ortonmc Posted: 30 Jan 2007 22:36)
Unfortunately, Judy's friends were not Munchkins, so it was a tight squeeze getting them all into the bug.
(stygiania Posted: 30 Jan 2007 22:46)
Fortunately, they weren't travelling very far.
(Tamise Posted: 31 Jan 2007 00:55)
Unfortunately, one of Judy's friends suffered from car sickness.
(ortonmc Posted: 31 Jan 2007 01:05)
Fortunately, there was an old McDonalds bag in the back for him to use.
(dcwilson Posted: 31 Jan 2007 01:55)
Unfortunately the bag disintegrated, spewing fossilised fries and petrified pickles across the back seat.
(cindydoll Posted: 31 Jan 2007 02:47)
Fortunately, there was a labrador retriever in the back seat who was happy to clean up the mess.
(SMH Posted: 31 Jan 2007 03:34)
Unfortunately Judy's friend threw up over the labrador.
(Tamise Posted: 31 Jan 2007 04:55)
Fortunately, they managed to stop the car and throw her (and the dog) out just in time.
(jjz Posted: 31 Jan 2007 05:31)
Unfortunately Judy and the labrador, Chuckie, fell heavily on the road and both ended up with broken legs requiring an ambulance to take them to the hospital and vet but the roads were now covered in snow so rescue was no where in sight.
(SMH Posted: 31 Jan 2007 05:43)
Fortunately, International Rescue got the call, and Thunderbird 1 was able to reach the scene with no problems.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 31 Jan 2007 09:43)
Unfortunately, by the time Thunderbird 1 was able to reach the scene, Judy's toes were completely frozen and needed amputation.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 31 Jan 2007 09:55)
Fortunately, a new cryogenic specialist happened to show up and had a new method for saving frozen toes that she was anxious to try out.
(caw Posted: 31 Jan 2007 10:23)
Unfortunately, she couldn't find her blowtorch.
(alohacurl Posted: 31 Jan 2007 10:34)
Fortunately, she had an ultra-hot high-speed hair dryer in the trunk of her car.
(SallyPursell Posted: 31 Jan 2007 10:45)
Unfortunately there was an electrical fault in the hair-dryer's cord and the cryogenics specialist was electricuted, leaving Thunderbird 1 with more patients to pick up than they had room for.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 31 Jan 2007 11:12)
Fortunately, Thunderbird 1 had just been issued a blowtorch and an electrician who sub-specialized in electrocutions.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 31 Jan 2007 12:18)
Unfortunately, the electricity was out after the tragic cryogenics specialist's electrocution.
(SMH Posted: 31 Jan 2007 12:23)
Fortunately, Thunderbird 2 arrived at this point, carrying extra equipment.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 31 Jan 2007 12:34)
Unfortunately, the labrador, Chuckie, could only handle one Thunderbird at a time and began barking uncontrollably as he skittered three-leggedly on the ice and snow.
(cindydoll Posted: 31 Jan 2007 13:07)
Fortunately, Chuckie was distracted by a squirrel, and was no longer distressed by the Thunderbirds.
(ortonmc Posted: 31 Jan 2007 13:46)
Unfortunately, the squirrel was rabid, and in a furious flurry of fur and whiskers bit Chuckie on the nose.
(SMH Posted: 31 Jan 2007 13:53)
Fortunately Scott Tracy, of Thunderbird 1, was carrying a pistol, and shot both the squirrel, and the newly infected dog.
(tenaj Posted: 31 Jan 2007 14:12)
Unfortunately the dog sprayed her with deadly bacterium with it's blood.
(ortonmc Posted: 31 Jan 2007 15:10)
Fortunately, there's a vaccine.
(tenaj Posted: 31 Jan 2007 15:12)
Unfortunately the last phial is only half a dose.
(SMH Posted: 31 Jan 2007 15:18)
Fortunately that's enough for a child.
(tenaj Posted: 31 Jan 2007 15:20)
Unfortunately afraid of needles, the child struggled and the phial broke.
(SMH Posted: 31 Jan 2007 16:00)
Fortunately Virgil was able to take her to hospital in Thunderbird 2.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 31 Jan 2007 16:11)
Unfortunately, the hospital would not admit the child without the parents' signature.
(stygiania Posted: 31 Jan 2007 16:41)
Fortunately, the child's mother was on the hospital staff and immediately came down to sign the forms.
(SMH Posted: 31 Jan 2007 16:47)
Unfortunately, she tripped on the stairs, bumped her head, and lost her memory.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 31 Jan 2007 16:53)
Fortunately, her husband had been paged and came to the rescue.
(alisea Posted: 31 Jan 2007 17:01)
Unfortunately, at that moment Judy remembered that her parents were dead.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 31 Jan 2007 17:12)
Fortunately, her extended family was very supportive.
(DMkazoo Posted: 31 Jan 2007 18:27)
Unfortunately, Judy had a huge resentment against her extended family because they forgot to invite her to the reunion barbecue.
(ortonmc Posted: 31 Jan 2007 20:17)
Fortunately, she had the good sense to forgive them when they gave her a sincere apology.
(caw Posted: 31 Jan 2007 20:35)
Unfortunately, a rift to another dimension opened and swallowed Judy before she could make her forgiveness known.
(Tamise Posted: 01 Feb 2007 00:53)
Fortunately, in this other dimension her parents were still alive, her grandmother was still dead (she was horrible remember, I think), the child never got car sick and the dog didn't die, but they were still on the way to Colorado's fridge of goodies.
(ortonmc Posted: 01 Feb 2007 00:56)
Unfortunately, in this other dimension the fridge had been ransacked by a ravening horde of cats, and there was nothing left in it but a few vegetables.
(dcwilson Posted: 01 Feb 2007 03:06)
Fortunately, vegetables have marvellous restorative powers in all dimensions.
(jjz Posted: 01 Feb 2007 07:40)
Unfortunately the vegetables had been genetically modified and were inedible.
(Tamise Posted: 01 Feb 2007 07:50)
Fortunately, they were transported to Crete where they found a nice garden full of wonderful veggies.
(stygiania Posted: 01 Feb 2007 09:05)
Unfortunately, the garden was ruled by a fierce woman wearing bright red Doc Marten wellies.
(SMH Posted: 01 Feb 2007 09:12)
Fortunately her bark was worse than her bite, and she was really very kind, and loved to take children to see exciting games exhibitions at the museum.
(ortonmc Posted: 01 Feb 2007 10:06)
Unfortunately the museum is so huge that it's easy to get lost in it.
(SMH Posted: 01 Feb 2007 12:48)
Fortunately, the games exhibition was all in a section with only one entrance/exit, so the adults were easily able to keep an eye on the kids.
(tenaj Posted: 01 Feb 2007 12:54)
Unfortunately this scuppered the parents desperately TRYING to lose their kids.
(stygiania Posted: 01 Feb 2007 12:56)
Fortunately, one of the games was really a portal that sucked the kids into another dimension.
(Tamise Posted: 01 Feb 2007 14:40)
Unfortunately, they ended up back in the dimension they started in.
(tunelera Posted: 01 Feb 2007 14:46)
Fortunately the portal also had time-manipulation capabilities and dumped Judy out as a mature 18-year-old.
(ortonmc Posted: 01 Feb 2007 15:15)
Unfortunately nobody believed her story, and she was committed to the local psychiatric hospital.
(caw Posted: 01 Feb 2007 15:25)
Fortunately, it had minimum security and she escaped easily.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 01 Feb 2007 20:29)
Unfortunately, Judy escaped wearing hospital attire because her own clothes had been appropriated for safety reasons.
(ortonmc Posted: 01 Feb 2007 21:05)
Fortunately, a hospital gown, being very loose, doesn't inhibit your movements very much, so it's very easy to run in one.
(De2164 Posted: 01 Feb 2007 21:22)
Unfortunately, a hospital gown does not cover much so she was running nearly naked.
(ortonmc Posted: 01 Feb 2007 23:46)
Fortunately, nobody noticed.
(TheEileen Posted: 02 Feb 2007 00:21)
UNfortunately, nobody noticed.
(dcwilson Posted: 02 Feb 2007 03:14)
Fortunately, the woman in bright red wellies had a heart of gold and welcomed Judy into her home, fed her magnificently with carrots, and sent her on her way kitted out in a spare pair of red wellies and a serviceable cardigan to cover the most obvious shortcomings in Judy's hospital gown.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 02 Feb 2007 07:27)
Unfortunately, although Judy greatly admired the beautifully bright red wellies, she suddenly discovered she was allergic to red dye.
(SMH Posted: 02 Feb 2007 08:20)
Fortunately the old lady had some green slippers that Judy could use instead.
(De2164 Posted: 02 Feb 2007 16:50)
Unfortunateley, they had belonged to her poor departed husband and were his favorite pair. He wore them almost 24 hours a-day for the last 20 years and were green from the fungus that now grew in them.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 02 Feb 2007 19:23)
Fortunately, Judy-and-Ginger's dear departed grandma and the poor departed husband were able to have a cozy conversation over ghostly mint tea as Judy made her getaway.
(jjz Posted: 02 Feb 2007 22:12)
Unfortunately Judy's escape was hindered when she tripped over the slippers and crashed into the carrot patch.
(ortonmc Posted: 02 Feb 2007 22:18)
Fortunately the carrots all escaped serious injury.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 02 Feb 2007 22:43)
Unfortunately the garden gnome suffered a crueler fate.
(SMH Posted: 03 Feb 2007 03:20)
Fortunately the old lady had an even tackier ornament to replace it with. (Or should that have been unfortunately?)
(tenaj Posted: 03 Feb 2007 06:12)
Unfortunately nobody objected to her placing it.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 03 Feb 2007 09:10)
Fortunately, the neighbours did not care.
(stygiania Posted: 03 Feb 2007 09:35)
Unfortunately, the neighbors did not care because the neighbors were all Zombies.
(tenaj Posted: 03 Feb 2007 09:37)
fortunately they were on the Council list for another house far away.
(SMH Posted: 03 Feb 2007 09:52)
Unfortunately that list was very long, as zombies are very long-term tenants.
(tenaj Posted: 03 Feb 2007 09:55)
fortunately as Zombies go, they are a friendly bunch.
(Tamise Posted: 03 Feb 2007 11:19)
Unfortunately, they were decomposing, so there was a bit of a smell.
(ortonmc Posted: 03 Feb 2007 12:41)
Fortunately, Judy was coming down with a cold, and her nose was stuffed up, so she didn't notice the smell.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 03 Feb 2007 13:29)
Unfortunately, the zombies took advantage of Judy's lack of smell to gang up on her.
(tunelera Posted: 03 Feb 2007 13:56)
Fortunately, Judy was carrying a good bunch of garlic and pulled it out to see if it worked as well on zombies as on vampires.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 03 Feb 2007 14:05)
Ubnfortunately, garlic had no effect on zombies, because their own putrid smell covered any other fragrance that could come about.
(ortonmc Posted: 03 Feb 2007 14:19)
Fortunately, as mentioned above, these were a friendly bunch of zombies, so their ganging up on Judy was all meant in fun, and they weren't trying to harm her.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 03 Feb 2007 14:23)
Unfortunately, even though they were frienldy zombies, their smell was so overwhelming that Judy ended up sick to her stomach.
(De2164 Posted: 03 Feb 2007 14:40)
Fortunately, a zombie that had died (came to life?) recently saw the putrid slippers Judy had on and fell in love with them and traded the new shoes she was buried with for them. With good shoes on Judy began to run again, waving goodbye to the friendly bunch.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 03 Feb 2007 14:49)
Unfortunately, the shoes were slippery and Judy fell and knocked her head on the pavement.
(SMH Posted: 03 Feb 2007 17:29)
Fortunately Judy had a very hard head, and the only damage was to the pavement.
(megani Posted: 03 Feb 2007 17:54)
Unfortunately, the pavement opened up into a huge swirling vortex of Excruciatingly Vicious Invidious Loathing which engulfed Judy and sucked her into the EVIL core of the universe, with only her slippery shoes, garlic and little dog Toto.
(stygiania Posted: 03 Feb 2007 18:35)
Fortunately, Toto, the brightest dog in the universe, knew a secret way out of the Vortex of Excruciatingly Vicious Invidious Loathing.
(jjz Posted: 03 Feb 2007 18:49)
Unfortunately Toto was so fascinated by the exciting squiggly moving things in the Vortex of Excruciatingly Vicious Invidious Loathing she forgot her object was to find the secret exit for Judy and as time passed the exit closed and became sealed shut for eternity and beyond.
(SallyPursell Posted: 03 Feb 2007 20:46)
Fortunately Judy knew the value of Pi to one million places and was able to save her sanity by reciting it.
(ortonmc Posted: 03 Feb 2007 21:31)
Unfortunately a million digits of π don't quite last for all eternity.
(De2164 Posted: 03 Feb 2007 22:29)
Fortunately, Judy did not need to go that far before her evil twin, which has her own private door there, came looking for her and saved her because it is no fun being an evil twin if there is no twin to be evil to.
(SMH Posted: 04 Feb 2007 04:45)
Unfortunately, this left Judy in the clutches of her evil twin.
(Kassy Posted: 04 Feb 2007 06:57)
Fortunately, Gregorios, the most evilest, of evil twins, you have ever seen; led Judy towards the infamous tunnel of myth.
(ortonmc Posted: 04 Feb 2007 11:44)
Unfortunately, on the way there, they were grabbed and carried off by a roc.
(SMH Posted: 04 Feb 2007 11:54)
Fortunately, it caught sight of an elephant, and, distracted, dropped them.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 04 Feb 2007 11:57)
Fortunately, they wrer dropped on soft ground, so nobody was hurt.
(jjz Posted: 04 Feb 2007 18:01)
Unfortunately the roc attacked the elephant, Elston, and caused great concern and anxiety among every DPer who ever DPed resulting in mass hysteria and confusion.
(ortonmc Posted: 04 Feb 2007 18:17)
Fortunately Elston, being exceptionally nimble, was able to dance aside just as the roc was about to grab him, so it missed.
(megani Posted: 04 Feb 2007 18:39)
Unfortunately, the roc grabbed Judy instead, tore her into several small bits, and began eating the bits.
(stygiania Posted: 04 Feb 2007 18:48)
Fortunately, Judy has the power of regeneration so those bits grew back just as fast as the roc could tear them away.
(ortonmc Posted: 04 Feb 2007 19:02)
Unfortunately, Judy was beginning to look an awful lot like Prometheus.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 04 Feb 2007 19:05)
Fortunately, inside the roc was a tailor (already swallowed in one gulp because the roc had been REALLY hungry) who repaired enough of Judy to send her on her way.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 04 Feb 2007 19:49)
Unfortunately the makeshift tailor forgot some feminine parts.
(megani Posted: 04 Feb 2007 19:56)
Fortunately the makeshift tailor forgot some feminine parts, which means Judy won't have any feminine troubles while on her adventure, and she can focus on finding a way out of the Vortex of EVIL, and worry about procreating later, if she survives.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 04 Feb 2007 20:17)
Unfortunately the hapless tailor added some other... parts.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 04 Feb 2007 20:21)
Fortunately, the whole mix war rather ... interesting
(De2164 Posted: 05 Feb 2007 19:16)
Unfortunatley, People here are rather brutal to Judy and come up with story stopping problems that ruin the fun for the others.
(DMkazoo Posted: 05 Feb 2007 20:08)
Fortunately, the unreliable narrator has no trouble explaining that the Vortex of EVIL spits Judy out because her new profile no longer matches the requirements of the Dark Force, and so Judy can now happily pretend she is the evil twin for once and begin scheming.
(ortonmc Posted: 05 Feb 2007 21:07)
Unfortunately she's a bit of a neophyte in the scheming department.
(stygiania Posted: 05 Feb 2007 21:41)
Fortunately, she was able to find the book Scheming for Dummies at her favorite book-seller.
(Chrome Posted: 05 Feb 2007 21:45)
Unfortunately, her scheming twin had already torn out all the really juicy parts.
(dcwilson Posted: 05 Feb 2007 21:47)
Fortunately there was a copy of the 1879 third edition in progress at DP.
(DMkazoo Posted: 05 Feb 2007 22:49)
Unfortunately it was stuck in the P3 queue, causing Judy to resort to the witchcraft her dead gran had taught her.
(ortonmc Posted: 06 Feb 2007 00:57)
Fortunately the witchcraft was successful beyond Judy's wildest expectations, and she found herself bestowed with full-page images, a reasonably well-proofed text, and wonderful high-resolution scans of the illustrations.
(jjz Posted: 06 Feb 2007 01:13)
Unfortunately Judy didn't have a computer or text reader.
(dcwilson Posted: 06 Feb 2007 01:59)
Fortunately she was able to overpower a passing gnome and steal his laptop.
(De2164 Posted: 06 Feb 2007 07:53)
Unfortunately, the operating system language was in gnome and she could not read it to figure out how to run something.
(Tamise Posted: 06 Feb 2007 08:08)
Fortunately, when the passing gnome woke-up he was very helpful and translated for her.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 06 Feb 2007 10:34)
Unfortunately he spoke in a Garden dialect so Judy still didn't understand.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 06 Feb 2007 12:57)
Fortunately a highly skilled system developer happened to walk by and offered to help.
(De2164 Posted: 06 Feb 2007 15:44)
Unfortunately, he only spoke Japanese and neither Judy or the gnome understand him.
(megani Posted: 06 Feb 2007 16:04)
Fortunately, Toto the Dog was quite special, as he is fluent in all major Earth languages, including Japanese and English (of all sorts, British, Aussie, and Mercan, as well as dialects thereof) and Gnome (of all sorts, garden, forest, marsh, and desert, as well as dialects thereof) and Toto is also a major technophile, so understood the developer and is able to explain everything Judy needed to understand to use the Gnomish program, allowing her to read Scheming for Dummies (the 1879 edition) from the reasonably well-proofed in-progress DP text, leaving her now fully prepared to scheme away, as (otherwise) only an Evil Twin should be capable of scheming.
Whew. Now we should be back to a story line?
(De2164 Posted: 06 Feb 2007 17:21)
Unfortunately, The schemes are so outdated everyone was able to see through them.
(ortonmc Posted: 06 Feb 2007 17:31)
Fortunately, this dissuaded Judy from pursuing her scheming any further, and she decided to continue, as before, along the path of virtue.
(jjz Posted: 06 Feb 2007 20:47)
Unfortunately Judy was still stuck in the Vortex of EVIL (I think) where virtue was a hindrance.
(tunelera Posted: 06 Feb 2007 20:59)
Fortunately, Judy had by this point been swirled down into the deepest point at the very center of the vortex and discovered, much to her surprise, that the tip of the vortex was a wormhole that dropped her out the other end into the Vortex of Virtue.
(stygiania Posted: 06 Feb 2007 21:44)
Unfortunately, the Vortex of Virtue was closed for repairs so Judy was dumped unceremoniously back on Earth.
(megani Posted: 06 Feb 2007 21:51)
Fortunately, her brief passage through the Vortex of Virtue left her with the look of a Totally Trustworthy Virtuous Person, and no one would suspect the scheming of which she was now capable, so she could take advantage of people, and they'd not even be aware of their unwitting role in her scheme until years later.
(De2164 Posted: 07 Feb 2007 01:51)
Unfortunately, She may look of a Totally Trustworthy Virtuous Person, she was still oddly dressed and in the middle of a busy intersection of a city in sub-zero
weather blocking traffic.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 07 Feb 2007 09:31)
Fortunately traffic was also blocked by Elston and Toto who had figured out how to come along for the exciting ride.
(ortonmc Posted: 07 Feb 2007 10:52)
Unfortunately, the resulting traffic jam made several hundred people late for work.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 07 Feb 2007 11:08)
Fortunately, it was actually a little-known holiday ( Day), and Judy, Elston, and Toto became heroes for stopping people from going to work unnecessarily.
(De2164 Posted: 07 Feb 2007 12:57)
Unfortunately, they were still in the middle of the city in freezing weather with very little clothing. Elston and Toto of course have none. Frost-bite is setting in.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 07 Feb 2007 13:16)
Fortunately, the warm fuzzy feeling of appreciation helped.
(TheEileen Posted: 07 Feb 2007 19:19)
Unfortunately, while it stopped people from going to work, it also stopped them from getting back home. The warm fuzzy feeling was fading fast as frantic fandangos of tootling horns beeped at them to GET OUT OF THE WAY.
(ortonmc Posted: 07 Feb 2007 19:23)
Fortunately, once they realized what everybody was getting so agitated about, it did not take our three intrepid travelers long to move to the sidewalk.
(stygiania Posted: 07 Feb 2007 20:20)
Unfortunately, the sidewalk had just been poured and the workers forgot to rope it off and erect "wet pavement" signs.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 07 Feb 2007 20:41)
Fortunately, as it was Day, no one minded Elston leaving prints in the cement. (fantastic use of "F" words, TheEileen!)
(dcwilson Posted: 07 Feb 2007 21:30)
Unfortunately the workers had used rapid set concrete, and Toto was stuck fast.
(RGAB Posted: 08 Feb 2007 00:08)
Fortunately, the workers had left a pick-ax behind, so Judy flexed her muscles and starting chipping Toto out of the cement.
(ortonmc Posted: 08 Feb 2007 00:24)
Unfortunately she had never used a pickaxe before, and didn't really know how to aim it.
(SMH Posted: 08 Feb 2007 03:29)
Fortunately, by sheer good luck, she hit the right spot, and got Toto free without injury.
(jjz Posted: 08 Feb 2007 05:03)
Unfortunately Elston was also stuck, with his precious little tusks set hard in the concrete firmly holding his cute little pink face to the ground, as he cried softly, "help me Judy," "help me DPers", "please help me," "sob," "hiccup," "sob".
(alohacurl Posted: 08 Feb 2007 14:04)
Fortunately, Elston's tears have magic properties of helping and healing, and they dissolved the concrete, thereby setting Elston free.
(ortonmc Posted: 08 Feb 2007 14:32)
Unfortunately, a concert pianist happened to be passing by just at that moment, and when he espied Elston, he decided to stop and tickle the ivories.
(De2164 Posted: 08 Feb 2007 15:02)
Fortunately, Elston being a good guy allowed the pianist to tickle him and he began to dance and laugh. Judy clapped the beat and Toto barked the backbeat. An impromptu party began on the street.
(stygiania Posted: 08 Feb 2007 15:56)
Unfortunately, special permits are required for street parties so all the cops came running over from the Tim Horton's to break it up and arrest those involved.
(ortonmc Posted: 08 Feb 2007 16:55)
Fortunately, when they realized their friend Judy was involved, the cops gave them a special permit instead of arresting them.
(megani Posted: 08 Feb 2007 19:09)
Unfortunately, the permit didn't hold up to the scrutiny of the Sheriffs who were called to the scene by a cranky old man called Cranky Calvin, because the permit was a City Permit, when a County Permit was also required for all Spontaneous Street Parties, and there was no permit at all for a partying Elephant. Cranky Calvin wanted the SSP shut down, and Now!
(SallyPursell Posted: 08 Feb 2007 21:39)
Fortunately, Cranky Calvin was one of those weird litigious people who sue everyone, and he had many suits against the police department, and sheriff's department. The police and sheriff decided that one more suit wouldn't matter so they hit him with a tazer and made a float around his twitching body, thus inspiring the first ever Spontaneous Street Parade!
(Vasa Posted: 08 Feb 2007 21:49)
Unfortunately, police and tazers are now one of the main events at Spontaneous Street Events world-wide.
(RGAB Posted: 08 Feb 2007 23:08)
Fortunately, every now and then a good tazer comes in handy when dealing with those evil forces who are trying to stop a somewhat quirky trio of unlikely comrades from going about their business just trying to live their virtuous little lives spreading song and dance throughout the world.
(jjz Posted: 09 Feb 2007 00:30)
Unfortunately an investigation into corrupt police determined that the police had broken the law by hitting Canky Calvin with the tazer as well as by giving special treatment to Judy when they issued the special permit so the police were put on probation and given restraining orders that required they remain indoors with detector bracelets on 24 hours a day, all tazers were confiscated and Toto, Judy and Elston charged with creating a street riot.
(dcwilson Posted: 09 Feb 2007 01:58)
Fortunately they appeared before a sympathetic judge, who was particularly averse to incarcerating animals and merely sentenced our trio to five hours' community service repairing broken sidewalks.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 09 Feb 2007 07:26)
Unfortunately the trio had landed in a particularly tidy town so had difficulty finding enough broken sidewalks to repair, and Toto grew hungrier and hungrier and thus barkier and barkier as he accompanied Judy and Elston in their near-futile search for sidewalks in disrepair.
(De2164 Posted: 09 Feb 2007 14:32)
Fortunately, they found a stretch of sidewalk in front of a lunch counter and the owener was so happy to have his sidewalk fixed for for free, he gave everyone a free all-you-can-eat ticket for one meal a week lasting for 10 years. After eating their first meal, Elston began to cry and fixed the sidewalk.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 09 Feb 2007 21:19)
Unfortunately, Elston tears were so many that they all drowned in them.
(jjz Posted: 09 Feb 2007 22:40)
Fortunately Elston was a good swimmer so he hoisted Judy and Toto onto his trunk and swam to safety.
(ortonmc Posted: 09 Feb 2007 22:50)
Unfortunately, in this instance safety consisted of a high hill, now entirely surrounded by water, with nothing else on it, so although they were safe, they were really bored.
(tunelera Posted: 09 Feb 2007 23:49)
Fortunately, Judy was a good story-teller and (after all of the adventures she had already had) had a large supply of stories to tell (many of which Elston and Toto were not yet acquainted with), which whiled away the time until the water levels dropped again.
(SMH Posted: 10 Feb 2007 04:17)
Unfortunately, by this time they were really, really hungry again.
(ortonmc Posted: 10 Feb 2007 10:30)
Fortunately, there was plenty of grass growing on the hill, so Elston's needs were taken care of.
(De2164 Posted: 10 Feb 2007 12:38)
Unfortunately, Judy, Toto, and few other trapped on the hill began to wonder what elephant meat tastes like as they look around for a way to make a fire to cook Elston with.
(stygiania Posted: 10 Feb 2007 13:11)
Fortunately, a plane flew over and dropped pizzas all around the hapless party.
(alisea Posted: 10 Feb 2007 13:44)
Unfortunately, the Pizzas were pretty big and one of them knocked out Toto.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 10 Feb 2007 16:02)
Fortunately for Toto, Elston's heart was as big as his size, and he did not take this unique opportunity to trample Toto, who had been contemplating different ways to cook elephant meat.
(De2164 Posted: 12 Feb 2007 00:42)
Unfortunately, the Pizzas were still frozen and uncooked.
(ortonmc Posted: 12 Feb 2007 00:44)
Fortunately, a looter happened by with a microwave oven in hand.
(jjz Posted: 12 Feb 2007 00:50)
Unfortunately there was no electric power.
(Tamise Posted: 12 Feb 2007 00:51)
Fortunately, they managed to hook Toto up to a over-sized hamster wheel so he could power the handy-dandy generator for them.
(stygiania Posted: 12 Feb 2007 01:18)
Unfortunately, Toto was too weak from hunger to run long enough to make the microwave run.
(megani Posted: 12 Feb 2007 01:20)
Unfortunately, Oliver, the over-sized hamster that used the hamster wheel (as part of his daily routine for hamster health) that was attached to the handy-dandy generator didn't like the smell of Toto, didn't like the looks of Toto, and had much bigger, sharper teeth than Toto.
(De2164 Posted: 12 Feb 2007 09:56)
Fortunately, Toto got out of the wheel and when Oliver took over to do his daily run, he ran fast enough and long enough to cook all the pizzas.  SO every one sat around eating pizza on the hill as they watch the "Flood of Tears" go down.
(RGAB Posted: 12 Feb 2007 12:28)
Unfortunately, it started to rain cats and dogs.
(ortonmc Posted: 12 Feb 2007 16:20)
Fortunately the cats and dogs had parachutes, so they weren't hurt by the fall.
(Chrys Posted: 12 Feb 2007 18:27)
Unfortunately, the strains of Thus Sprach Zarusthra began to play from nowhere and everyone thought the cats and dogs were an invading army.
(Kassy Posted: 13 Feb 2007 09:24)
Fortunately, everyone realized that they were not.
(SMH Posted: 13 Feb 2007 12:41)
Unfortunately, the SPCA was overwhelmed by the resulting flood of homeless pets.
(stygiania Posted: 13 Feb 2007 13:08)
Fortunately, there was a huge eleemosynary spirit within the community and a luxurious animal care facility was built posthaste.
(ortonmc Posted: 13 Feb 2007 13:44)
Unfortunately, due to the hasty construction the roof leaked.
(Tamise Posted: 13 Feb 2007 14:08)
Fortunately, they placed the huge fish tank under the leak, so the water didn't soak the floor (or all the cats and dogs).
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 13 Feb 2007 17:16)
Unfortunately, the fish were all of the salt-water variety and were beginning to do whatever they do when they only have fresh water and Toto and Elston began to look worried and mortified.
(ortonmc Posted: 13 Feb 2007 17:24)
Fortunately the tank was sufficiently huge that the water was not diluted too much, and the fish all recovered.
(De2164 Posted: 13 Feb 2007 18:17)
Unfortunately, all the dogs in the place began to howl and no one knew why.
(ortonmc Posted: 13 Feb 2007 20:53)
Fortunately, they all howled in tune with one another, so the effect was quite pleasant.
(RGAB Posted: 13 Feb 2007 22:35)
Unfortunately, the cats were not feeling the pleasure of that effect.
(De2164 Posted: 13 Feb 2007 22:51)
Fortunately, when the cats began to yewl their complaint the sound became even more pleasent and it was recorded as a new mood music and the shelter will sell millions of CD's and DVD's.
(Tamise Posted: 14 Feb 2007 00:59)
Unfortunately, this meant a visit from the dreaded record company.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 14 Feb 2007 09:39)
Fortunately, it also means a lot of money for the shelter.
(DMkazoo Posted: 14 Feb 2007 12:27)
Unfortunately, Elston and Judy are horrible money managers, being elephantine and young (respectively), and invested the capital in a vegan pet food startup company.
(RGAB Posted: 14 Feb 2007 15:00)
Fortunately, herbivores everywhere sounded their approval and the money (and noise) started rolling in.
(De2164 Posted: 14 Feb 2007 18:06)
Unfortunately, the world tour of the shelter's animals was a flop and millions were lost.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 15 Feb 2007 04:50)
Fortunately, the world tour exposed the plight of the shelter animals to gazillions of potential new owners and many, many animals were adopted, which pleased Toto, Elston, and Judy to no end (and even the fish, left behind due to technical difficulties, were ecstatic).
(jjz Posted: 15 Feb 2007 06:53)
Unfortunately, the cats stalked the fish and they died from fright.
(Tamise Posted: 15 Feb 2007 07:57)
Fortunately, this meant the cats had lots of food.
(ortonmc Posted: 15 Feb 2007 10:48)
Unfortunately, they had to eat all the fish quickly before they started to smell, so they got awful stomach aches.
(stygiania Posted: 15 Feb 2007 11:23)
Fortunately, the world tour was sponsored by Pepto Bismol so they were quickly treated.
(De2164 Posted: 15 Feb 2007 14:15)
Unfortunately, it is difficult to make a cat take medicine, causing many scratched hands and bitten fingers. Some helpers had to go to the hospital for cat scratch fever.
(Chrys Posted: 16 Feb 2007 15:17)
Fortunately, it was a bright and sunny day. "A perfect day for a bike ride!" thought Judy. She realized that (now being 17+1) she could no longer ride her old bike and began looking for a new one. It must be special - to carry Toto and several of the Technically forgotten fish that Judy had become quite attached to emotionally. It also needed an attachment so when Judy was tired, Elston could propel her along.
                         
                        ~.~
                         ~   \          
                         (O) - (O)
(jjz Posted: 16 Feb 2007 19:03)
Unfortunately Elston's trunk became caught in the bicycle wheel. [Love your cycle Chrys]
(ortonmc Posted: 16 Feb 2007 19:53)
Fortunately Judy hadn't started riding yet, so Elston was merely embarassed, not hurt.
(De2164 Posted: 17 Feb 2007 00:33)
Unfortunately, everytime Elston sat on his seat the tires blow-out.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 17 Feb 2007 12:32)
Fortunately, Elson started a diet.
(alisea Posted: 17 Feb 2007 12:37)
Unfortunately, even the ideal weight for an elephant is far more than Judy's bike can take, so they still can't go anywhere.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 17 Feb 2007 13:53)
Fortunately, Judy was able to tie her bike on Elston's behind, so he could drag her in their travels.
(RGAB Posted: 17 Feb 2007 19:44)
Unfortuately, I think we can all see the disadvantages of being pulled right behind an elephant.
(ortonmc Posted: 17 Feb 2007 19:49)
Fortunately Elston is modest and waits till he's alone to do his business.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 17 Feb 2007 20:40)
Unfortunately, even though it was done in private, Elston's business was rather ... pungent  
(TheEileen Posted: 17 Feb 2007 21:03)
Fortunately, pungent meant it was particularly useful for the garden so the green booted lady came along and collected it all for her compost heap.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 17 Feb 2007 21:05)
Unfortunately, everybody but the green booted lady was throwing up from the stinch.
(stygiania Posted: 18 Feb 2007 00:15)
Fortunately, that also made a great addition to the compost heap.
(TheEileen Posted: 18 Feb 2007 01:28)
Unfortunately ... ewwwwwww!
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 18 Feb 2007 11:36)
Fortunately ... ah!
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 18 Feb 2007 12:29)
Unfortunately, Toto trotted to town.
(ortonmc Posted: 18 Feb 2007 12:58)
Fortunately, the animal warden was off sick that day, so the leash law wasn't being enforced.
(SMH Posted: 18 Feb 2007 13:22)
Unfortunately Toto ran into a large rottweiler, who was also off the leash.
(De2164 Posted: 18 Feb 2007 14:04)
Fortunately, they were good friends. Rodney the Rottweiler and Toto had a grand time playing in the park while the sick ones cleaned up.
(ortonmc Posted: 18 Feb 2007 15:29)
Unfortunately, a dog's idea of a grand time generally involves getting extremely dirty.
(Chrys Posted: 19 Feb 2007 03:20)
Fortunately, the green-booted lady was able to raise the most fantastic veggies thanks to her potent compost pile, winning the local fair for the largest, most perfect produce around. In gratefulness to Elston, she told him that he and Judy were welcome to visit her country home any time.
(De2164 Posted: 19 Feb 2007 08:01)
Unfortunately, dirty dogs are not welcome.
(SMH Posted: 19 Feb 2007 08:03)
Fortunately Elston was able to hose Toto down, till he was nice and clean.
(Chrys Posted: 19 Feb 2007 08:48)
Unfortunately, Although Judy was quite appreciative of the country life, she realized that her hopes of bike riding might never come to pass. Each night, she felt an unbearable sadness come over her as the sun went down on her lost dreams.
(ortonmc Posted: 19 Feb 2007 11:25)
Fortunately, she awoke each morning after a night of lovely dreams feeling thoroughly refreshed and ready to try again.
(RGAB Posted: 19 Feb 2007 14:42)
Unfortunately, Elston had still not found himself a weight-appropriate bicycle.
(SallyPursell Posted: 19 Feb 2007 17:23)
Fortunately he had a chance encounter with Tom Swift, Jr., who happened to be working on anti-gravity and Elston discovered a hitherto unknown talent in himself in physics and engineering.
(Arie Tuinman Posted: 19 Feb 2007 17:45)
Unfortunately Tom Swift Jr. happened to be allergic to Elephants, especially pink ones.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 19 Feb 2007 17:49)
Fortunately, Elston decided to run with Toto alongside Judy as she attempted to ride a bike that had been loaned to her by Rodney Rottweiler's best friend, Roger.
(ortonmc Posted: 19 Feb 2007 17:51)
Unfortunately, one of the bicycle's tires was flat.
(RGAB Posted: 19 Feb 2007 19:42)
Fortunately, Elston was enjoying his running alongside Toto so much he just hoisted Judy up onto his back and off they trotted leaving the bicycle behind.
(ortonmc Posted: 19 Feb 2007 20:03)
Unfortunately, when the time came to return the bicycle to its owner, they didn't remember where they had left it.
(RGAB Posted: 20 Feb 2007 15:18)
Fortunately, Rodney Rottweiler's friend, Roger, with his super sniffing snout, found the bike and even repaired the flat should the Trusty Trio want to borrow it again.
(De2164 Posted: 20 Feb 2007 17:00)
Unfortunately, in the fun of trotting around they got completely lost after cuttng through a maze like wooded section of a large park.
(ortonmc Posted: 20 Feb 2007 17:04)
Fortunately, in the middle of the woods, they discovered a lovely picnic lunch laid out, with a sign next to it saying "Help yourself!"
(tunelera Posted: 20 Feb 2007 18:29)
Unfortunately, they had forgotten the lesson that Alice learned in Wonderland, that when food invites you to eat it, unexpected things happen.
(Chrys Posted: 20 Feb 2007 19:50)
Fortunately, after nibbling a little, Elston began to shrink until he was of a size quite capable of bike riding and they decided that when they were rested, they would find their way out of the woods and try one more time to ride the bike.
(ortonmc Posted: 20 Feb 2007 19:57)
Unfortunately, they soon discovered that while Elston was the right size to ride a bike, he was most definitely not the right shape.
(RGAB Posted: 20 Feb 2007 21:25)
Fortunately, Elston didn't have to pedal the bike, so he plopped himself on the handlebars while Judy pedaled the bike and Toto ran alongside.
(ortonmc Posted: 20 Feb 2007 22:22)
Unfortunately, Judy couldn't see around Elston, so she didn't see the gigantic pothole in time to steer around it.
(grythumn Posted: 21 Feb 2007 00:54)
Fortunately, she was to sue the county for damages and was awarded gobs of money.
(De2164 Posted: 21 Feb 2007 13:08)
Unfortunately, the poor bicycle that was a family heirloom was wrecked beyond repair and now they were to be sued for more than they got for the pothole case.
(RGAB Posted: 22 Feb 2007 00:50)
Fortunately, they all settled out of court to everyone's satisfaction and the Trusty Trio was back on the road hoping to lose themselves in the beautiful scenery surrounding them.
(dcwilson Posted: 22 Feb 2007 01:50)
Unfortunately they did lose themselves--in a forest filled with magic mushrooms.
(Tamise Posted: 22 Feb 2007 05:33)
Fortunately, the magic mushrooms provided them with a super keen sense of direction.
(stygiania Posted: 22 Feb 2007 10:31)
Unfortunately, that super keen sense of direction imparted by the mushrooms only works on the astral plane.
(RGAB Posted: 22 Feb 2007 19:52)
Fortunately, they were able to travel on the astral plane and found their way through the beauty of nature.
(De2164 Posted: 22 Feb 2007 21:54)
Unfortunately, the exit from the woods is right next to the cops* favorite donut shop, Elston and Trudy are arrested after they find Magic Mushroom residue on them. Elston and Judy now sit in the jail and Toto is in the dog pound.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 23 Feb 2007 22:11)
Fortunately, the dog pound was right next door to the jail so Elston and Judy were able to communicate with Toto as they all waited for a court date.
(ortonmc Posted: 24 Feb 2007 00:06)
Unfortunately, communicating between buildings was against the jail rules, and they got a stern reprimand.
(jjz Posted: 25 Feb 2007 01:34)
Fortunately the police overruled the magic mushroom residue charge and released Judy, Elston and Toto, and helped them find their way out of Wonderland and back to their own time and place.
(grythumn Posted: 25 Feb 2007 13:34)
Unfortunately, they were now quite lost in the astral plane.
(De2164 Posted: 28 Feb 2007 15:47)
Fortunately, Toto caught a familair scent and followed it. Judy and Elston floated along hoping he knew where he was going. Suddenly they all sneezed and felt a gentle bump as they landed in the center of a wide corn field. Standing up and looking around Judy said, "I think we are in Kansas again."
(alisea Posted: 28 Feb 2007 16:32)
Unfortunately, the corn field was really big, so they couldn't see anything but corn in every direction.
(RGAB Posted: 03 Mar 2007 13:23)
Fortunately, by walking in a spiral-patterned path they eventually reached the edge of the field.
(RGAB Posted: 03 Mar 2007 13:25)
Unfortunately, they were still in Kansas.
(ortonmc Posted: 03 Mar 2007 16:21)
Fortunately, Kansas is a lovely place, where nothing untoward ever happens, unless you consider tornadoes untoward.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 03 Mar 2007 18:10)
Unfortunately, the happy trio stood too long in one spot, and the weather changed.
(RGAB Posted: 03 Mar 2007 18:48)
Fortunately, a big wind picked them up and blew them far away onto a soft white beach with graceful, arched palm trees where warm tropical water lapped up over their toes and frosty, refreshing tropical drinks awaited them - in hurricane country.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 04 Mar 2007 15:06)
Unfortunately, it was only in their dreams. Reality was not so good!
(De2164 Posted: 05 Mar 2007 20:10)
Fortunately an old farm was near-by and they joined the family in the storm cellar. They all sang "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" as the tornado passed by.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 05 Mar 2007 20:37)
Unfortunately, the farmer had just received his new storm cellar and hadn't had time to put it into the ground, and the entire structure (with everyone bravely singing inside, of course) was taken up into the tornado and let down gently onto a soft white beach - in hurricane country.
(Eryngium Posted: 05 Mar 2007 21:17)
Fortunately the beach afford ample entertainment in the form of a beach volleyball tournament
(ortonmc Posted: 05 Mar 2007 21:53)
Unfortunately the volleyball was flat, and nobody had remembered to bring a pump.
(RGAB Posted: 05 Mar 2007 22:20)
Fortunately, Judy fetched the bicycle pump she remembered seeing in the storm cellar that brought them to the beach and helped the volleyball players - one, in particular - pump up the volleyball and the tournament continued.
(stygiania Posted: 05 Mar 2007 22:37)
Unfortunately, that particular volleyball player was so stuck on himself he didn't even notice Judy.
(jjz Posted: 05 Mar 2007 23:18)
Fortunately Judy's passion for the volleyball star was infatuation and she was happy to idolise from afar.
(De2164 Posted: 06 Mar 2007 08:07)
Unfortunately, this made Elston jealous and he challenged the volleyball star to a one on one volleyball contest to see who was better.
(ortonmc Posted: 06 Mar 2007 14:49)
Fortunately, the local rules didn't allow one-on-one, so the judges put a stop to the quarrel before things got ugly.
(ChickadeeInVt Posted: 06 Mar 2007 17:12)
Unfortunately, Elston wanted nothing to do with rules, and kept asking for the one-on-one.
(De2164 Posted: 07 Mar 2007 19:49)
Fortunately, Judy was able to calm him down finally with a big kiss on his forehead and said to him, "You will always be my favorite Dancing Elephant!" With that Elston jumped into the air and began a graceful, for an elephant, dance about the beach.
(jjz Posted: 07 Mar 2007 20:54)
Unfortunately local regulations stipulated that elephants dancing on the beach had to be on leads so he was rounded up by the local pound and taken sobbing his little heart out to the animal detention centre. "I don't want to go," he sobbed, over and over and over until his little voice could holler no more.
(RGAB Posted: 07 Mar 2007 22:52)
Fortunately, there was another elephant at the Animal Detention Center -- a lovely lavender lady elephant....
(ortonmc Posted: 07 Mar 2007 23:00)
Unfortunately, she didn't know how to dance.
(jjz Posted: 07 Mar 2007 23:35)
Fortunately Elston could teach her and started lessons immediately.
(dcwilson Posted: 07 Mar 2007 23:58)
Unfortunately the warders mistook Elston's efforts to teach his lady friend the Pachyderm Polka for something altogether more carnal, and hurriedly separated the elephants into opposite wings of the Centre.
(RGAB Posted: 08 Mar 2007 12:55)
Fortunately, Judy came along and claimed both Elston and Dula, his lavender lady-friend, as her own, allowing her to free them both from their imprisonment.
(Chrys Posted: 08 Mar 2007 13:31)
Unfortunately, they were now no longer on the beach, but still in hurricane country.
(ortonmc Posted: 08 Mar 2007 13:37)
Fortunately it was not hurricane season, so they had nothing to fear from the weather.
(Chrys Posted: 08 Mar 2007 14:08)
Unfortunately, Dula had become quite homesick for her former job as a legal assistant which she had lost when she was accused of hiding sensitive info about a client in her trunk. Being quite innocent, she couldn't help grieving over her lost position. (The info was in her trunk, not the client!)
(RGAB Posted: 08 Mar 2007 21:07)
Fortunately, none of this mattered to Elston and he was quite happy to take her along on his travels with Judy and Toto offering her a new perspective of her working -- or non-working -- situation.
(De2164 Posted: 08 Mar 2007 21:47)
Unfortunately, It was getting dark and chilly out, the palm trees russle in the rising breeze as a light rain begins to fall. Judy was out of money after paying the fines for our elephant friends. Not that it mattered much as the road they were on was deserted and there was no places to stay anywhere in sight.
(jjz Posted: 08 Mar 2007 22:40)
Fortunately Dula and Elston didn't feel the cold and loved the rain so by linking their trunks and using their ears as tarpaulins, they were able to provide a warm safe haven for Judy and Toto. The four slept soundly throughout the night and woke refreshed the next moring to a mild sunny day promising great progress in their new quest to clear Dula's name.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 12 Mar 2007 11:40)
Unfortunately, Judy's separated-at-birth identical twin sister, Ginger, leaped into the story line again, bearing the dire news that she, too, had been a legal assistant, and that she had NOT had a refreshing night's sleep.
(De2164 Posted: 12 Mar 2007 16:58)
Fortunately Dula and Ginger hit it off right away and there were no problems. After talking they decide to create a business to offer legal assistants to freelance lawyers as small firms. However they needed to find a town to do it in. (The first customer can be the one up Dula's trunk.)
(ortonmc Posted: 12 Mar 2007 18:40)
Unfortunately, towns are not something you can pop in and buy at the corner drugstore.
(RGAB Posted: 12 Mar 2007 19:22)
Fortunately, they might be interested in Lawyersville, New York (of course).
(jjz Posted: 12 Mar 2007 20:55)
Unfortunately they were still on the road to nowhere and had no way of getting to Lawyersville, or anywhere else for that matter.
(stygiania Posted: 12 Mar 2007 20:58)
Fortunately, they were in a virtual reality and when the squirrels took the system down for an upgrade it moved them automatically to their desired destination.
(RGAB Posted: 12 Mar 2007 20:58)
Fortunately, Ginger carried a compass.
(jjz Posted: 13 Mar 2007 01:37)
Unfortunately on system relaunch the heroes of the story had been lost in hyperspace and the squirrels had gone off to a well-deserved party at the local pub.
(Chrys Posted: 13 Mar 2007 12:18)
Fortunately, after the first flurry of intense activity from DPers suffering from withdrawal symptoms brought on by the system shut-down, things settled down and our heroes were able to get a wide overview of available towns they might be interested in. After a bout with indecision because of the numerous choices, they decided on Uncertain Landing, TX.
(De2164 Posted: 13 Mar 2007 13:31)
Unfortunately, as the name implied, they landed on a beach again, this time on a sand bar that began to dissolve as the weight of Elston and Dula landed on it. It was going to be a case of sink or swim.
(RGAB Posted: 13 Mar 2007 18:38)
Fortunately, elephants are very good swimmers.
(ortonmc Posted: 13 Mar 2007 19:20)
Unfortunately they had neglected to bring their bathing suits.
(stygiania Posted: 13 Mar 2007 19:35)
Fortunately, the beach had an incredible bathing suit vending machine.
(jjz Posted: 13 Mar 2007 19:44)
Unfortunately they had no money. [But who needs bathing suits? especially elephants!]
(SallyPursell Posted: 13 Mar 2007 19:58)
Fortunately, the bathing suit vending machine had been emplaced by the "Citizens for a Decent Beach" committee and was free of charge!
(jjz Posted: 13 Mar 2007 20:04)
Unfortunately because the suits were free, there were none left.
(De2164 Posted: 14 Mar 2007 00:36)
Fortunately, having made it TO the beach somehow, they no longer needed the swimsuits.
(RGAB Posted: 14 Mar 2007 07:33)
Unfortunately, they were tired of the beach: too much sand, sun, and salt water, and decided to take off for parts unknown, preferably somewhere cool and mountainous.
(De2164 Posted: 14 Mar 2007 11:59)
Fortunately, just such a place was visible from the beach and after most of a day's walk they were now on a road that climbs into a range of mountains. As the sun sets the sparse clouds glow in oranges, reds, and pinks. A warm breeeze caresses them as they settle in for the night.
(ortonmc Posted: 14 Mar 2007 12:17)
Unfortunately they had settled in upon a fire ants' nest.
(RGAB Posted: 14 Mar 2007 12:44)
Fortunately, while Toto was out scouting around the campsite he came upon Andy, the anteater, who was in the mood for a spicy dinner.
(Chrys Posted: 14 Mar 2007 16:19)
Unfortunately, by the time Andy arrived, they were quite miserable from the fire ants and in need of benedryl, calamine, epinephrine, etc.
(tsaiah Posted: 15 Mar 2007 05:04)
Fortunately, such balms and salves are not like towns, and are exactly the sort of somethings you can pop in and buy at the corner drugstore.
(De2164 Posted: 15 Mar 2007 08:58)
Unfortunately, being in the mountains there are no stores nearby.
(SallyPursell Posted: 15 Mar 2007 11:03)
Fortunately, and rather weirdly, Andy happened to carry all those around with him because he had chronic allergy symptoms, being just minimally allergic to ants.
(Chrys Posted: 15 Mar 2007 11:37)
Unfortunately, Andy was quite hesitant to use his entire supply of meds on the fairly large party that was assembled. He also made Elston jealous by flirting with Dula whom he thought quite charming.
(dcwilson Posted: 15 Mar 2007 23:44)
Fortunately, Sir Nonfat was riding by on his trusty steed Equion, saddlebags bursting with all manner of useful and obscure medications, and was more than happy to share with our miserable travellers.
(ortonmc Posted: 15 Mar 2007 23:50)
Unfortunately, his saddlebags were full of dust from his previous travels, and when he opened them, the dust triggered Dula's allergies.
(stygiania Posted: 15 Mar 2007 23:58)
Fortunately, they were just outside "Weird Al's" nasal decongestant factory and it was free sample day.
(tsaiah Posted: 16 Mar 2007 13:17)
Unfortunately, Equion caught scent of "Weird Al's" tater-tot farm next door, and, tater-tots being his weakness, bolted for it, throwing Sir Nonfat off and onto the samples, crushing them.
(RGAB Posted: 16 Mar 2007 22:05)
Fortunately, and miraculously, the hidden anti-allergy properties of tater tots worked better for all our travellers -- a party growing with each bend in the road -- than all the pharmaceuticals they'd been considering; and were pretty tasty, too.
(De2164 Posted: 16 Mar 2007 22:59)
Unfortunately, the side-effects left them sleepy and nauseated.
(ortonmc Posted: 16 Mar 2007 23:40)
Fortunately, it was a pleasant day for a nap outside under a tree.
(tsaiah Posted: 16 Mar 2007 23:55)
Unfortunately, the tree they chose to nap under was already occupied by a napping squirrel, who, when exposed to the great chorus of snores from below, became a wide-awake and irritated squirrel.
(De2164 Posted: 17 Mar 2007 04:04)
Fortunately, though the squirrel did pelt Elston with large nuts, it did not really hurt. He did wake-up enought though to apologies to the squirrel and after explaining their problems with Fire Ants the squirrel takes pity on them and agrees to move to a different tree to sleep.
(dcwilson Posted: 19 Mar 2007 05:38)
Unfortunately, excessive consumption of potato products always triggered Sir Nonfat's somnambulism.
(jjz Posted: 19 Mar 2007 07:42)
Fortunately the potato products were grown by tenaj in her seed saver's garden so Sir Nonfat was able to settle down to sleep soundly without stirring.
(RGAB Posted: 19 Mar 2007 10:46)
Unfortunately, they were suddenly invaded by a professional lawn crew who started up their industrial size lawn mowers, leaf blowers, and weed whackers and woke up everyone within a 1/2 mile radius.
(jjz Posted: 19 Mar 2007 19:38)
Fortunately it was time to get up and at 'em and start the day refreshed and ready to tackle whatever the next unfortunate event had in store for them.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 20 Mar 2007 11:00)
Unfortunately, the sight of Equion triggered Weird Al's oddest obsession which caused poor old Al to cease purchasing tenaj's lovely and nutritious potatoes.
(stygiania Posted: 21 Mar 2007 00:51)
Fortunately, Weird Al's oddest obsession was going door-to-door distributing cookies to everyone in the world thereby making the whole world a happier place. Hark, is that a knock on my door now?
(jjz Posted: 21 Mar 2007 01:04)
Unfortunately Stygiania's new diet specifies "no cookies".
(dcwilson Posted: 21 Mar 2007 01:15)
Fortunately there is now a glut of guilt-free organic carrot-fortifed potatoes to snack on instead.
(jjz Posted: 21 Mar 2007 01:17)
Unfortunately they don't taste as good as cookies.
(De2164 Posted: 21 Mar 2007 19:53)
Fortunately, Elston and Dula do not need to worry about things like that.
(jjz Posted: 21 Mar 2007 23:37)
Unfortunately Judy and Toto do. [Are Judy and Toto still with us?] If not, read:
Unfortunately Judy and Toto reappeared severely malnourished but the guilt-free organic carrot-fortified potatoes had turn to mould and as cookies were banned, there was nothing available to replenish their strength.
(Chrys Posted: 22 Mar 2007 07:58)
Fortunately, tenaj grew much more than potatoes in her wonderful seed savers garden. Not only were they able to have a healthy nourishing meal, but could also enjoy the heirloom flowers that were blooming beautifully.
(ortonmc Posted: 22 Mar 2007 11:16)
Unfortunately the heirloom flowers attracted numerous bees and other sharp, pointy insects.
(De2164 Posted: 22 Mar 2007 12:31)
Fortunately, the day is nice and they decided it is best to leave this place to avoid the pointy insects. Still in the mountains they decided to go climb the tallest one nearby.
(RGAB Posted: 22 Mar 2007 13:51)
Unfortunately, it started snowing.
(Tamise Posted: 22 Mar 2007 14:19)
Fortunately, that meant they could all build snowmen.
(De2164 Posted: 22 Mar 2007 18:45)
Unfortunately, when they placed the magic hat on its head expecting to dance around with them, it became an Abominable Snowman and attacked.
(dcwilson Posted: 22 Mar 2007 20:27)
Fortunately, Sir Nonfat and his trusty mount Equion had had lots of practice jousting against snowmen, and swiftly yet humanely dispatched the belligerent yeti.
(ortonmc Posted: 22 Mar 2007 20:37)
Unfortunately the magic hat was fatally damaged during the fracas.
(stygiania Posted: 23 Mar 2007 02:27)
Fortunately, the policemen thought it was an "Enchanted Hat of Donut Production" so they gathered up all the bits and had it repaired.
(dcwilson Posted: 23 Mar 2007 03:18)
Unfortunately, the policemen--slightly befuddled from being peremptorily dragged back into the plot after several weeks' holiday--reconstructed the hat inside out, thereby reversing its powers.
(tsaiah Posted: 23 Mar 2007 04:26)
Fortunately, if they cross paths with any more psychopathic snowcreatures, they now have a ready defense.
(Serve Wholeheartedly Posted: 23 Mar 2007 06:23)
Unfortunately, the next snowcreature our happy crew met was psychologically impaired rather than psychopathic, and tossed pine cones at the doughnut-and-coffee-deprived policemen, thereby causing more befuddlement.
(jjz Posted: 23 Mar 2007 06:47)
Fortunately it was morning tea time so the police moved on to the nearest coffee shop for their coffee and donut fix and left the psychopaths building pine cone mountains in peace.
(RGAB Posted: 23 Mar 2007 14:54)
Unfortunately, the vibration caused by the policemen marching to the coffee shop and the weight of the psychopath-built pine cone mountain caused an avalanche.
(tsaiah Posted: 23 Mar 2007 15:53)
Fortunately, the previously-irritated squirrel was nearby with his squirrely friends, who all quickly disassembled the pine-cone-alanche to get to the yummy pine nuts.
(De2164 Posted: 23 Mar 2007 18:19)
Unfortunately, the mountains that are within a day's walk from the coast are still within the hurricane zone and the clouds are gathering making the skies dark with clouds and the wind is rising. Storm sirens are sounding along the coast.
(RGAB Posted: 23 Mar 2007 18:50)
Fortunately, mountains knock the cane out of a hurricane and the storm that actually hit was more of a hurrican't. (I don't really get that either, but it sounded funny....)
(jjz Posted: 23 Mar 2007 23:39)
Unfortunately hurrycan'ts are worse than hurricanes, because as well as being in a hurry, they deliver a caning to any poor sod who gets in the way so our adventurers received a mighty thrashing as they tried to gather the yummy pine nuts (best served with just a touch of salt for those who are allowed to supplement their salt intake).
(ortonmc Posted: 24 Mar 2007 00:07)
Fortunately it didn't last very long.
(RGAB Posted: 25 Mar 2007 21:23)
Unfortunately, a mighty blizzard blew in and caused snow blindness in all our travellers, so now they had no idea where they were or where they were going (which didn't really change their situation much, anyway), but now they were all incredibly cold and wet.
(ortonmc Posted: 25 Mar 2007 21:59)
Fortunately, they were no longer plagued by mosquitoes.
(De2164 Posted: 25 Mar 2007 22:32)
Unfortunately, they blunder into a tall stone building. A sign on the door said, *Welcome to The Stone Mountain Historical Clock*. The door was unlocked and everyone rushed in to get out of the cold. The air was warm there was plenty of room for all. Does not sound like a *Unfortunately* does it? Well, we find-out the truth before too long. Everyone began to itch and scratch. The clock tower is infested with Ticks and Tocks.
(ortonmc Posted: 25 Mar 2007 22:44)
Fortunately, the Ticks were non-Tocksic.
(dcwilson Posted: 25 Mar 2007 23:43)
Unfortunately, the plethora of appalling puns caused the more sensitive souls amongst our band of travellers to become violently distressed and claw at the stone walls, thereby doing serious damage to their manicures.
(SallyPursell Posted: 26 Mar 2007 05:44)
Fortunately a band of marauding manicurists happened upon them on a raid, and, also appalled (at the state of their nails) put aside their melee weapons and took the suffererers "in hand".
(Chrys Posted: 26 Mar 2007 13:08)
Unfortunately, the non-tocksic ticks also infested the marauding manicurists who were definitely more handy at marauding than manicuring. They were rather irritable (on account of the ticks), and when faced with manicuring Toto, Elston, and Dula, took pause, packed their trunks, and high-tailed it out of there.
(De2164 Posted: 26 Mar 2007 13:59)
Fortunately, as more ticks and tocks rained down on them with each swing of the old pendulum, the weather outside had broken and they were able to leave the clock tower. I was still chilly out, but the sun was shining and that warmed them.
(jjz Posted: 26 Mar 2007 22:26)
Unfortunately the cool weather caused an infestation of ticks.
(dcwilson Posted: 26 Mar 2007 22:36)
Fortunately a passing PPVer had a different interpretation of the weather and changed all the ticks to crosses, with which she was able to patch the stumps left when the manicurists took off with Elston's and Dula's trunks.
(jjz Posted: 26 Mar 2007 22:50)
Unfortunately, for the manicurists. they were stopped before they travelled too far with the trunks and Judy's friends from the hospital including world-renowned plastic surgeons surgically reattached Elston's and Dula's trunks successfully without even a scar or minor disfunction.
(De2164 Posted: 27 Mar 2007 13:28)
Fortunately, the sun is bright and warm agian. Having enough of the mountains the group passes over them and decend back into a big city.
(RGAB Posted: 29 Mar 2007 21:42)
Unfortunately, they immediately realize this is a big mistake.
(De2164 Posted: 02 Apr 2007 15:38)
Fortunately, mistakes can be educational. The mistake was that they entered a city that spoke no language anyone of them understood. Attempting to find a hotel, they were misunderstood to be looking for a brothel instead. This of course upset the locals and eventually the police were informed. With luck, they were finally understood and are now in a 5-star hotel. Elston and Dula are basking in the suite's hot jacuzzi, squirting water at each other.
(ortonmc Posted: 02 Apr 2007 15:46)
Unfortunately, this annoyed some of the other guests at the hotel, who were Stuffy Old Bores who thought that one should behave in a more genteel fashion at such an establishment.
(De2164 Posted: 06 Apr 2007 08:07)
Fortunately, money is the launguage of that hotel.  When they did a credit check, they found Dorthy and all had made quite a bit of money a few months ago and could easily afford the suite for quite some time yet if they chose to stay.  AND stay they will, even if the other guests complain or leave.
(alisea Posted: 06 Apr 2007 11:23)
Unfortunately, even the nicest hotel gets boring after a while, especially if you aren't understood by anybody in town.
(stygiania Posted: 06 Apr 2007 12:20)
Fortunately, Dr. Seuss happened along and nobody in the town understood him either; therefore, Dorothy and crew became fast friends with the fun man.
(crb11 Posted: 06 Apr 2007 16:34)
Unfortunately Dr Seuss became obsessed with the idea of writing the trio's adventures in his unique style of verse.
(De2164 Posted: 06 Apr 2007 17:16)
Fortunately, I decided not to attempt to write-up a few verses as examples.
(jjz Posted: 07 Apr 2007 10:24)
Unfortunately these verses were just what were needed for the holiday break.
(Komowkwa Posted: 07 Apr 2007 13:31)
Fortunately, we may make it through the break without them.
(RGAB Posted: 09 Apr 2007 18:27)
Unfortunately, we did.
(Komowkwa Posted: 10 Apr 2007 21:22)
Fortunately, we can look forward to Elston, Dula and the other tourists departing for their homes
(Chrys Posted: 12 Apr 2007 02:18)
Unfortunately, there comes a time when even the best friends must say good-bye.
Elston and Dula decided to join the circus and so went in search of the unicycling juggler of whom they had heard Judy speak. Equion, who decided that that might be more fun than hanging around with Sir Nonfat, decided to follow them and invited Andy and Toto to join him. Being convinced by the televangelist that if he sent in a large amount of money, he would be able to perform on the high wire, Equion fell from on high, squishing the nice young man and the cubist teacher who were watching the show.
The green-booted lady contracted with Rodney Rottweiler and his friend Roger to guard her home, but Cranky Calvin complained of the constant noise and filed suit. The dogs were impounded and the green-booted lady was kidnapped by Creepy Jim, the jail-bird. While attempting to rescue her, the gnome got into a disagreement with Chuckie the labrador over who was the kewlest, the woman in the bright red wellies, or the biker-dude. After being severly shaken, the gnome put a spell on Chuckie who now believes he is Scot Tracy of Thunderbird 1. Scot is entirely frustrated by the hundred pound dog in his chopper.
Judy's grandmother's ghost became infatuated with Jack the jolly janitor and is always by his side. This tends to put a damper on Jack's social life. Judy is left alone in the city contemplating the meaning of life, the universe and everything and wondering what 42 is the answer to. She thinks that if someone had written the verses, maybe she could have found the answer.
(De2164 Posted: 12 Apr 2007 04:12)
Fortunately, Judy is a strong girl after all she has gone through. She takes off in search of her need to know if 42 really is the answer. She hears rumor the Lost Seuss Monks may know, so she begins her search for them.
(Komowkwa Posted: 13 Apr 2007 07:17)
Unfortunately, Spring has caused most of the Monks to leave their villas on the beach and return to their winter homes in Finland.
(dcwilson Posted: 13 Apr 2007 07:51)
Fortunately, Sir Nonfat's cousin Sir Lojül knows Finland like the back of his hand, and is available to guide Judy as well as act as chaperon and bodyguard.
(alisea Posted: 13 Apr 2007 09:31)
Unfortunately, in Sir Lojül's opinion nobody who doesn't speak Finnish is allowed to visit the country, so he insists that Judy learns to speak Finnish first.
(RGAB Posted: 13 Apr 2007 11:50)
Fortunately, Judy oppia joutuin.
(alisea Posted: 13 Apr 2007 12:05)
Valittettavasti, nyt ei kukaan ymmärtää juttua enemmän.
(Unfortunately, now nobody understands the story anymore), but they are on their way to Finland.
(Mistakes in Finnish Grammar go on my count, I've obviously forgotten almost everything.)
(jjz Posted: 13 Apr 2007 20:59)
Fortunately it doesn't really matter if no one understands the story any more because Judy decided not to learn Finnish or go to Finland and instead set out to enrol in a course in ceramics.
(stygiania Posted: 13 Apr 2007 21:13)
Unfortunately, she decided for her first project to make an automotive heat sink for the ultimate in engine efficiency but the ceramics increased the car's weight so much that the energy savings was actually negative.
(ortonmc Posted: 14 Apr 2007 00:00)
Fortunately, by turning the idea on its head, she invented a mobile kiln for firing ceramics, which caused great excitement in the world of potters.
(Neologist Posted: 14 Apr 2007 03:49)
Unfortunately the world of potters is 600 lightyears away, so the excitement there was premature.
(jjz Posted: 14 Apr 2007 06:18)
Fortunately 42 made it possible to bring the idea back to the present.
(sassi Posted: 16 Apr 2007 21:51)
Unfortunately, by the time 42 got back to the present, it had already been unwrapped, and a new search for a present had to be started.
(ortonmc Posted: 16 Apr 2007 23:19)
Fortunately, it was now Christmas, and Santa Claus appeared on the scene, with his sack full of goodies.
(sassi Posted: 16 Apr 2007 23:53)
unfortunately the sack had broken somewhere over the pacific ocean, and was now empty
(Tamise Posted: 17 Apr 2007 00:09)
Fontunately, all the presents were wrapped in water-proof paper in case of just such an occurance.
(De2164 Posted: 17 Apr 2007 00:41)
Unfortunately, the ink on the labels was not water-proof. No one could tell which gift went to which person.
(Neologist Posted: 17 Apr 2007 02:02)
Fortunately all the gifts were in fact the same, and had only been labelled out of courtesy, so it didn't matter.
(stygiania Posted: 17 Apr 2007 02:44)
Unfortunately, the presents were all ceramic dalmatians leftover from the old daytime "Wheel of Fortune" show.
(jjz Posted: 17 Apr 2007 03:11)
Fortunately the characters in our Fortunately/Unfortunately story love dalmations and unwrapped their presents carefully, marvelling at the perfection of the detailed ceramic work.
(sassi Posted: 17 Apr 2007 03:51)
Unfortunately one man, so enraged at only having received one such figurine, broke into everyone's house and stole their dalmation!
(jjz Posted: 17 Apr 2007 06:43)
Fortunately the 101 real dalmations heard the plight of our characters, caught the thief and saved the ceramic figurines.
(sassi Posted: 17 Apr 2007 06:46)
Unfortunately Cruella de Ville was hot on their trail, and caught them all in a heinous plan to make a coat and coat stand...
(RGAB Posted: 17 Apr 2007 08:42)
Fortunately, this is not a cartoon, but a serious attempt at fine literature; so ... where is Judy? Oh, right, admiring her ceramic dalmation dropped from the sky by a broken bag of Santa Claus.
(De2164 Posted: 17 Apr 2007 15:47)
Unfortunately Cruella de Ville is from a fine book called "The Hundred and One Dalmatians" by Dodie Smith. So that leaves us with Judy on the road playing "Nancy Drew and The Case of the Missing Christmas Dalmations."
(sassi Posted: 17 Apr 2007 19:25)
Fortunately Judy received a smoking pipe, a cap, and a magnifying glass for christmas last year, and is well equipped for the part
(RGAB Posted: 17 Apr 2007 19:57)
Unfortunately, Judy doesn't smoke, the cap gives her hat-hair, and the magnifying glass is way too heavy to carry around in her purse.
(sassi Posted: 17 Apr 2007 20:00)
Fortunately Judy managed to convince one of the dalmations to carry these objects for her.
(RGAB Posted: 17 Apr 2007 20:06)
Unfortunately, the dutiful dalmation couldn't resist sampling the contents of the pipe and is now passing it around to all his dalmation friends leaving them all drifting around wondering what it was they were searching for.
(sassi Posted: 17 Apr 2007 20:07)
Fortunately Judy decided that she could manage without the dalamation, and said objects, and has started on her as-yet-unidentified-quest.
(RGAB Posted: 17 Apr 2007 20:13)
Unfortunately, Judy remembered that way back in the beginning of her travels she had really just wanted to go for a lovely bike ride on a beautiful day and now she has no idea where her bike is located or if she still even has a bike.
(sassi Posted: 17 Apr 2007 20:17)
Fortunately Judy's bike comes complete with a GPS system, which she quickly enables.
(RGAB Posted: 17 Apr 2007 20:21)
Unfortunately, the cheap GPS system that came with the bike is showing 32 different locations where her bike might be located.
(sassi Posted: 17 Apr 2007 20:22)
Fortunately Judy has 32 friends to help her check each location for her missing bike.
(RGAB Posted: 17 Apr 2007 20:31)
Unfortunately, the satellite that the GPS system relies on has been deactivated by unknown despicable villains attempting to control the world's bike riders.
(sassi Posted: 17 Apr 2007 20:39)
Fortunately Judy is a detective, and manages to track down said villains, using the ancient Method of Detection.
(jjz Posted: 17 Apr 2007 20:41)
Fortunately satellite deactivation tracking was able to locate and fix the problem so the satellite is not only working again, but has been updated with the latest you-beaut infallible programs. Within minutes Judy's bicycle was located.
(jjz Posted: 17 Apr 2007 20:42)
Unfortunately we had two fortunatelies posted back to back so we need one more.
(sassi Posted: 17 Apr 2007 20:44)
Fortunately no one is paying attention, and the slip-up goes unnoticed (or should that be unfortunately no one is paying attention?)
(jjz Posted: 17 Apr 2007 20:48)
We'll take that as unfortunately so that we are back on track. Anyone for a fortunately?
(RGAB Posted: 17 Apr 2007 20:52)
Fortunately, I'm outahere. C U L8r.
(brrrrt Posted: 17 Apr 2007 21:43)
Unfortunately, I'm still here and I seem to have lost my pants.
(ortonmc Posted: 17 Apr 2007 21:51)
Fortunately there's a team just waiting for you to join.
(stygiania Posted: 17 Apr 2007 23:02)
Unfortunately, Judy is a rather prim lady so she cannot join that team.
(sassi Posted: 18 Apr 2007 00:47)
Fortunately Judy realised that she still hadn't gone on her bike ride, and stopped being distracted by vain hopes of joining teams.
(ortonmc Posted: 18 Apr 2007 00:51)
Unfortunately a horde of gnomes appeared on the scene and wanted to accompany Judy, so she was obliged to dismount, in deference to their short legs, and walk instead of riding.
(sassi Posted: 18 Apr 2007 01:24)
Fortunately Judy liked walking, so she stashed her bike, being careful to lock it and ensure the GPS was working, and headed off with the gnomes.
(Neologist Posted: 18 Apr 2007 02:05)
Unfortunately gnomes can only walk in circles and Judy passed her bike six times before she realised she was going nowhere.
(sassi Posted: 18 Apr 2007 02:07)
fortunately Judy realised that she could carry all the gnomes in her backpack, and so put them in there and got back on her bike.
(jjz Posted: 18 Apr 2007 04:23)
Unfortunately the gnomes were suffocating.
(sassi Posted: 18 Apr 2007 06:30)
Fortunately Judy didn't care.
(RGAB Posted: 18 Apr 2007 09:33)
Unfortunately, the gnomes chewed and clawed their way out of Judy's backpack,--ripping it to shreds in the process,--dismantled her bike down to each spoke, and took off running in all directions, each one taking a piece of the bike with him.
(Neologist Posted: 19 Apr 2007 01:42)
Fortunately the bike was insured with double indemnity for gnome damage so Judy was able to buy a totally gnome-proof autopilot-equipped moped and proceeded on her way.
(sassi Posted: 19 Apr 2007 04:00)
Unfortunately by this time it was the middle of the night, so Judy had to abandon her bike ride will the poor girl ever manage to get anywhere?!
(crb11 Posted: 19 Apr 2007 04:52)
Fortunately Judy was just then abducted by friendly aliens.
(dcwilson Posted: 19 Apr 2007 06:30)
Unfortunately, the aliens were a little too friendly.
(sassi Posted: 19 Apr 2007 07:43)
Fortunately Judy, like every well-prepared female, took several self defence classes, and *isn't* afraid to use them.
(jjz Posted: 19 Apr 2007 09:45)
Unfortunately the aliens were only after Judy's brain and used their super sophisticated brain extractor, leaving Judy brainless.
(stygiania Posted: 19 Apr 2007 12:53)
Fortunately, no one could tell the difference.
(RGAB Posted: 19 Apr 2007 13:22)
Unfortunately, if Judy doesn't find a brain this could be the end of our story. Quick! Call the Brain Brigade!
(crb11 Posted: 19 Apr 2007 13:26)
Fortunately the aliens had another brain sitting around that they were able to put back into Judy.
(tenaj Posted: 19 Apr 2007 13:57)
Unfortunately it was 'P'unched out of the hands of the brain surgeon, and ended up skittering across the floor.
(jjz Posted: 20 Apr 2007 02:43)
Fortunately this brain was pretty hardy so no harm was done and it was usable after all.
(Neologist Posted: 20 Apr 2007 04:09)
Unfortunately the new brain supplied by the aliens only knew how to speak "alien" so no-one understood anything Judy said.
(crb11 Posted: 20 Apr 2007 04:23)
Fortunately the alien language turned out to be closely related to Finnish, hence solving one of the world's great linguistic mysteries.
(De2164 Posted: 20 Apr 2007 11:25)
Unfortunately, the brain was also an abnormal one, which is why it was not in use.
(Brownfox Posted: 20 Apr 2007 11:32)
Fortunately, the abnormal thing about it was that it gave Judy an IQ of 200.
(sassi Posted: 23 Apr 2007 00:53)
Unfortunately this meant that she was liable to spend her time sitting in a corner attempting to solve life's little mysteries like "where does the other sock go?"
(Neologist Posted: 23 Apr 2007 05:04)
Fortunately she solved it.
(sassi Posted: 23 Apr 2007 05:28)
Unfortunately the solution to her problem was stolen by <insert appropriate conspiracy theory here> and her brain removed and replaced, restoring her IQ to 100.
(ortonmc Posted: 23 Apr 2007 10:01)
Fortunately, being returned to normal made Judy so happy that she began dancing through the streets, singing her old favorites from The Sound of Music.
(RGAB Posted: 23 Apr 2007 11:18)
Unfortunately, the local townspeople would not stand for one more rendition of "Do, a Deer" and herded her out to the city limits saying so long, farewell, auf weidersehn, good-bye with instructions to go climb every mountain -- just not in this neighborhood.
(sassi Posted: 23 Apr 2007 18:40)
Fortunately this meant that Judy could rent a bike, and finally go on her trip!
(Neologist Posted: 24 Apr 2007 10:44)
Unfortunately, having been accosted by gnomes and aliens and following two (or was it three) brain transplants, Judy couldn't remember where she was planning to cycle to, or why.
(crb11 Posted: 24 Apr 2007 10:58)
Fortunately she'd also forgotten she'd ever had any plan, and was happy just to enjoy the countryside.
(sassi Posted: 24 Apr 2007 21:34)
Unfortunately the countryside was currently being logged, industrialised, and otherwise ruined.
(ortonmc Posted: 24 Apr 2007 22:14)
Fortunately a few acres had been set aside for a park and were not being industrialised.
(Tanaquil Posted: 24 Apr 2007 22:35)
Unfortunately. the waiting list for permission to visit the park was very long, and Judy didn't have the needed permit.
(ortonmc Posted: 24 Apr 2007 22:43)
Fortunately, one of the new industrial complexes was a huge chocolate factory, and Judy promptly forgot about the park.
(Komowkwa Posted: 24 Apr 2007 22:54)
Unfortunately, it only had milk chocolate.
(De2164 Posted: 24 Apr 2007 23:06)
Fortunately, that was what she prefer to eat anyway. She spent most of the day sampling various products they created.
(Tamise Posted: 24 Apr 2007 23:55)
Unfortunately, she ate too much and had to go visit the Distributed Avoirdupois Clinic.
(sassi Posted: 25 Apr 2007 03:56)
Fortunately everyone there was so supportive that she quickly worked off the calories from the chocolate, and discovered a new love: proofing! (or foofing, take your pick)
(jjz Posted: 25 Apr 2007 06:20)
Unfortunately proofreading was more addictive than chocolate and Judy, along with many many other fine people was hooked and neglected the rest of her amibitions so that she could spend more time online at DP.
(sassi Posted: 25 Apr 2007 06:44)
Fortunately the many people at DP were eternally grateful and thanked Judy profusely for her help.
(Komowkwa Posted: 26 Apr 2007 03:19)
Unfortunately, Judy started posting in the Everything Else part of the Forum.
(sassi Posted: 26 Apr 2007 03:51)
Fortunately, just as she was about to suffer from an existentialist experience of writing about herself writing about herself, there was a power failure.
(jjz Posted: 26 Apr 2007 06:51)
Unfortunately the submit button automatically engaged just before the power went off so Judy's innermost secrets were made public to all the DPers.
(sassi Posted: 26 Apr 2007 06:54)
Fortunately Judy was completely oblivious to this as she realised that it was time she visited the big blue room.
(Komowkwa Posted: 26 Apr 2007 22:03)
Unfortunately, the room was full.
(jjz Posted: 26 Apr 2007 23:21)
Fortunately she didn't need the blue room after all and joined the discussion in Jabber.
(ortonmc Posted: 27 Apr 2007 00:20)
Unfortunately Judy was unaccustomed to some of the current terminology, so she took exception to being labeled a "Jabberwock."
(Tamise Posted: 27 Apr 2007 00:27)
Fortunately, some kind soul explained it all to her and everything was fine.
(jjz Posted: 27 Apr 2007 00:31)
Unfortunately Jabberwock badges were in short supply so her family and her boss didn't understand and became annoyed at the amount of time she sat typing at her computer instead of out meeting new people. [Guess this means Judy now has a family and a job Let's go for it!]
(Neologist Posted: 27 Apr 2007 04:05)
Fortunately Judy had an appointment with a group of slithy toves at brillig and closed a deal on life insurance for them, so her boss was placated.
(sassi Posted: 27 Apr 2007 05:45)
Unfortunately her new and important clients heard Judy refer to them as "slithy toves" and rang her boss to complain.
(stygiania Posted: 27 Apr 2007 07:13)
Fortunately, her boss was quite the diplomat and convinced them that "slithy toves" was Finnish for Very Important Persons.
(Komowkwa Posted: 28 Apr 2007 16:58)
Unfortunately, none of the Very Important Persons in Finland were back from the annual trip to Spain to verify this claim.
(jjz Posted: 28 Apr 2007 22:34)
Fortunately no one really knew or cared whether slithy toves was really an insult or a compliment, and the clients were so pleased with the insurance plan they had been sold, everyone was happy to adopt the term as a good joke and went out to celebrate.
(sassi Posted: 30 Apr 2007 23:42)
Unfortunately they made the mistake of eating at a well known fast food restaurant (who can't be named for legal reasons) and came down with food poisoning.
(ortonmc Posted: 30 Apr 2007 23:54)
Fortunately, at the Convention Hall just across the street was the annual gathering of the National Stomach Pump Manufacturers' Association, complete with samples of their latest products and technically knowledgeable staff.
(sassi Posted: 30 Apr 2007 23:58)
Unfortunately they had all decided to take a break and eat at the same said fast food restaurant.
(Tamise Posted: 01 May 2007 00:18)
Fortunately, the staff at the restaurant were so used to this problem that they had their own stomach-pumping kit and all the staff were trained in its proper usage.
(stygiania Posted: 01 May 2007 00:51)
Unfortunately, sharing one stomach pumping kit amongst so many sick people spread countless germs and they all ended up in the hospital anyway.
(jjz Posted: 01 May 2007 00:57)
Fortunately Judy re-aquainted herself with the good looking doctor from oh so many pages back and even though she looked dreadful having just had her stomach pumped Dr McGorgeous knew she was his true love.
(Neologist Posted: 01 May 2007 01:05)
Unfortunately in the meantime DrMcGorgeous had plight his troth to another woman, who was renowned for her jealousy and hot temper, and he knew his love for Judy would have to remain unrequited for her own safety.
(jjz Posted: 01 May 2007 04:00)
Fortunately this does seem awfully similar to the script of Grey's Anatomy so to avoid copyright issues the plot needs to move drastically in another direction.
(Neologist Posted: 01 May 2007 04:07)
Unfortunately (or actually intentionally) I've never seen Grey's Anatomy so any resemblance to the script is entirely coincidental.
(stygiania Posted: 01 May 2007 07:08)
Fortunately (for us) Grey's Anatomy is completely lacking Elston so no copyright issues there as Elston once more tackles the rôle of Judy's wacky sidekick.
(sassi Posted: 01 May 2007 07:15)
Unfortunately Elston accidentally kicked Judy in the side of the head while dancing in his sidekick role, thus getting himself fired from yet another cameo role.
(jjz Posted: 01 May 2007 19:20)
Fortunately the casting manager could find no possible replacement for a light purple/mauve dancing elephant so he was rehired.
(dcwilson Posted: 01 May 2007 22:21)
Unfortunately the script editor had forgotten that Dr McGorgeous already had a boyfriend thereby ensuring sufficiently many points of difference from Grey's Anatomy to avoid plagiarism charges, so Elston wa re-fired.
(Komowkwa Posted: 01 May 2007 22:34)
Fortunately, Judy was able to land a role as a finicky customer on a 'reality show' depicting the regular bickering of a family in the 'hair transplant' business.
(Neologist Posted: 02 May 2007 03:22)
Unfortunately the 'hair transplant' business show pilot bombed, and the series was cancelled.
(dcwilson Posted: 02 May 2007 03:37)
Fortunately the executive producer mentioned to Judy that they were thinking of making a series about healthy chivalry--exploiting her acquaintance with Sir Nonfat and Sir Lojül, Judy was able to secure a job as a production consultant.
(jjz Posted: 02 May 2007 03:39)
Fortunately Penny the Penguin invited Judy and Elston to form their own production company with first rights on any acting part they wanted to do themselves.
(jjz Posted: 02 May 2007 03:44)
Unfortunately two posts left Judy and Elston in a dilemma--Judy become a production assistant, or become a partner in Penny Penguin's production company.
(Neologist Posted: 02 May 2007 03:49)
Fortunately, after all her travails, Judy wanted to put the past behind her and was also fond of Elston, so she snapped up the offer from Penny the Penguin.
(jjz Posted: 02 May 2007 06:03)
Unfortunately they needed to now find a large building to accommodate their new enterprise before production could start.
(stygiania Posted: 02 May 2007 08:06)
Fortunately a behemoth of a "building" mystically appeared over night in a previously vacant field.
(RGAB Posted: 02 May 2007 09:35)
Unfortunately, that field was home to many families of birds, butterflies, and other critters who are very upset at being tossed from their homes by Judy, Elston, and Penny.
(dmadis Posted: 02 May 2007 11:23)
Fortunately, one of the birds had seen Hitchcock's movies and organized an attack with birds, stinging insects and biting bugs and violently reclaimed the area. They took up residence in the giant building and also sent a contingent of troops after the interlopers who went hopping down the road, swatting, cursing and screaming.
(Elisa Posted: 02 May 2007 12:05)
Unfortunately, the building had appeared in the vacant field because a tornado had picked it up and set it down there, and when the rightful owners realized where it was, they sent an equally behemothical truck to return it to its rightful place, where they planned to use it to house their own production company.
(Komowkwa Posted: 02 May 2007 23:32)
Fortunately, global warming has raised the value of penquins and Penny's stock went sky high. The IPO has made them all rich.
(Neologist Posted: 03 May 2007 00:51)
Unfortunately none of them had the faintest idea what the IPO is (like me) so they were unblissfully unaware they were rich.
(jjz Posted: 03 May 2007 01:11)
Fortunately Penny was able to pacify the wildlife and assured them there was plenty of room for them once Komowkwa explained the IPO and how this would help their venture to set up a production faciity dedicated to protection of the environment.
(tenaj Posted: 03 May 2007 07:08)
Unfortunately IPO officials, trampling all over the wildlife, whilst assessing them for IPO - discovered there was little wildlife left to benefit, so refused their application.
(Neologist Posted: 03 May 2007 07:24)
Fortunately as they still hadn't heard of the IPO, they took the officials for vandals trampling all over the place, called the police and carried on regardless still unaware that an application they didn't know they'd made had been turned down.
(jjz Posted: 03 May 2007 08:02)
Unfortunately not knowing what the IPO is or what the letters stand for is an offence so the police arrested Neologist. [What is an IPO, in this context of course?]
(RGAB Posted: 03 May 2007 08:54)
Fortunately, the lawyers for the Independent Penguin Organization (IPO) sprung Neologist from behind bars enabling him to sit in front of one and order a round of beers for all his friends.
(Neologist Posted: 03 May 2007 09:16)
Unfortunately the bar was out of beer so Neologist had buy champagne instead after which he parachuted out of the story to leave the way clear for Judy et al.
(jjz Posted: 03 May 2007 09:40)
Fortunately the Australian connection knew where the secret stash of beer was kept so after the one bottle of champagne supplied by Neologist, the party continued with our players singing "The Pub with no Beer" (an Australian country favouite--honest!) as they waved goodbye to the fearless but stage-shy parachutist and the Independent Penguin Organisation plotted the next scene.
(stygiania Posted: 03 May 2007 09:53)
Unfortunately it was only near-beer and everyone gagged on it and a riot ensued.
(IPO = Initial Public Offering, the first time a company's stock is available for sale to the public.)
(Komowkwa Posted: 03 May 2007 15:37)
Fortunately, there is always a place to get more beer and Penny found one that delivers.
(Elisa Posted: 03 May 2007 15:46)
Unfortunately, the rioters overturned the beer truck as it approached. Since the beer was in glass bottles, there wasn't much left to deliver.
(jjz Posted: 03 May 2007 21:16)
Fortunately Penny the Penguin (being Australian) always had ways to find more beer and was able to provide ample quantities of Boag's Premium, the best beer in the world (according to affie) in recyclable aluminium cans. After drinking in moderation Judy, Elston and Penny were ready to start on their new production company venture.
(sassi Posted: 04 May 2007 04:34)
Unfortunately, after their extended absence in locating the beer, the staff at the production house had decided that making beer was what they were born to do, and had fled for greener (or yeasti-er) pastures
(Komowkwa Posted: 06 May 2007 03:42)
Fortunately, Judy, Elston and Penny were able to acquire a large library to attract additional staff to the production house.
(Neologist Posted: 06 May 2007 04:16)
Unfortunately in the excitement of discovering the library they completely overlooked the fact that it had no books.
(sassi Posted: 08 May 2007 01:54)
Fortunately everyone was too busy starting work to need the books just yet
(De2164 Posted: 08 May 2007 11:15)
Unfortunately, Local bookworms setup a blockade protest that they are being mistreated and discriminated against by running a library with no book.
(stygiania Posted: 08 May 2007 11:45)
Fortunately, the library contained many computers with access to e-books so the bookworms mutated into computer worms and quit complaining.
(De2164 Posted: 08 May 2007 18:42)
Unfortunately, now no one wants to use the library for fear if getting a computer worm that might destroy their computers.
(sassi Posted: 08 May 2007 18:58)
Fortunately that meant that everyone could help out on getting the first major film ready for premiere
(RGAB Posted: 10 May 2007 00:00)
Unfortunately, someone spilled acid all over the film reels.
(Komowkwa Posted: 10 May 2007 00:17)
Fortunately, backups had been made so new reels could be prepared.
(Neologist Posted: 10 May 2007 01:20)
Unfortunately they couldn't remember where they'd stored the backups.
(jjz Posted: 10 May 2007 05:04)
Fortunately Penny the Penguin, and yet to be named ducky had excellent memories and together they uncovered the missing reels, which they transferred to tape and made hundreds of copies and spread them around the country to ensure the treasure could not again be lost.
(Komowkwa Posted: 11 May 2007 00:54)
Unfortunately, they used the nearly forgotten BetaMax format and no one could play the tapes they received.
(jjz Posted: 11 May 2007 01:36)
Fortunately Penny had a friend, Justin Case, who had two beta tape machines in the garage, well you know just in case they were ever needed, along with an expensive VHS-Beta dubbing machine. Everything was in working order, and Justin even had a tape cleaning kit for just such a situation. No sooner had the dilemma been discovered, the taped material had been processed and even transferred to DVDs and distributed around the world. Now, everyone was ready to move on with the new production facility and the making of the the new movie.
(De2164 Posted: 11 May 2007 04:33)
Unfortunately, the set builder's union has gone on strike, the movie has stopped for now.
(Neologist Posted: 11 May 2007 08:46)
Fortunately they decided to make a documentary about the set builder's union going on strike, so production continued.
(RGAB Posted: 11 May 2007 08:59)
Unfortunately, the set builders were so intent on being in the movie they stopped building the set for the movie.
(stygiania Posted: 11 May 2007 13:02)
Fortunately, a talented set of wiki-gnomes decided to moonlight as carpenters and built the set magically overnight.
(Komowkwa Posted: 13 May 2007 00:59)
Unfortunately, the carpenters could not see very well in the moonlight and the set was for the wrong production.
(jjz Posted: 13 May 2007 01:07)
Fortunately the main players were flexible and could change from Shakespeare to the Goons and everything in between without a blink of the eye.
(Neologist Posted: 13 May 2007 04:07)
Unfortunately the mis-constructed set was for a dramatisation of "The Canterbury Tales," which predates Shakespeare and was therefore outside the company's range.
(jjz Posted: 13 May 2007 07:03)
Fortunately all had been exposed to Chaucer in Rock in college so they were not perturbed.
(De2164 Posted: 13 May 2007 11:35)
Unfortunately, since gnomes are magical creatures and are ones to play jokes at times, kept changing the set in small ways every time Judy and the crew decided on a theme for the production.
(stygiania Posted: 13 May 2007 13:39)
Fortunately, wiki-gnomes compulsively document every change they make so it was easy for Judy & Co. to keep things straight.
(Komowkwa Posted: 14 May 2007 19:33)
Unfortunately, the production ended after only a three week run because half the cast, a makeup artist and an usher came down with a rare strain of the eleven day flu. Problems were complicated by the theft of the tiera and all seven revolvers from the prop room.
(Neologist Posted: 15 May 2007 06:13)
Fortunately they were able to resume normal service after just 12 days as the 11 day flu was over, and the tiera and revolvers were not needed for this production.
(De2164 Posted: 15 May 2007 10:08)
Unfortunately, the revolvers were used in a robbery.  One was recovered at the scene of the crime and traced back to Judy as the owner.  The production is once again closed down.  Judy and the prop manager are now in jail.
(Neologist Posted: 16 May 2007 01:52)
Fortunately ballistics showed that Judy's revolver was not used in the robbery, so Judy and the Prop Manager were released.
(grythumn Posted: 16 May 2007 12:32)
Unfortunately, the ballistics data was shown to be faulty, as they were prop guns and could not actually fire a projectile, and robbery with a prop gun was still armed robbery.
(ortonmc Posted: 16 May 2007 14:15)
Fortunately a witness to the robbery provided the police with a description of the robbers, and it was clear that Judy and friends were not the culprits.
(crb11 Posted: 16 May 2007 16:41)
Unfortunately it was equally clear that the wiki-gnomes were.
(stygiania Posted: 16 May 2007 17:57)
Fortunately (for the wiki-gnomes) they were able to get their friends to go into the electronic court records and continually edit the pages to remove all claims against the gnomes and the court eventually gave up trying to stay ahead of them and let them go.
(ortonmc Posted: 16 May 2007 18:04)
Unfortunately, as a result of the indiscriminate editing, Judy discovered that she was married to eight wiki-gnomes, three policemen, and the big oak tree that was growing in front of the courthouse.
(RGAB Posted: 16 May 2007 18:29)
Fortunately, she was really in love with the big oak tree.
(dmadis Posted: 16 May 2007 18:54)
Unfortunately, the tree was occupied by a demon, imprisoned in it centuries ago for crimes against literacy.
(De2164 Posted: 17 May 2007 12:49)
Fortunately, the demon was willing to repent and when Judy got him release, he offered to repay for his sins by writing a play and a movie just for her.
(dmadis Posted: 17 May 2007 13:00)
Unfortunately, the demon's vocabulary was composed almost entirely of swear words and words relating to the actions of succubi. So Judy sent him over to her old high school to enroll and learn proper English, but he tried to eat the Jolly Janitor and they called the police.
(Komowkwa Posted: 18 May 2007 04:16)
Fortunately, four of the nine police officers who showed up had been attendants at Judy's recent wedding and one of that was an acorn from an neighboring oak tree.
(Neologist Posted: 28 Jul 2007 04:39)
Unfortunately, this thread appears to have got itself stuck in a time warp for the last two and a bit months.
(daniemers Posted: 28 Jul 2007 04:57)
Fortunately, it's mainly because half the cast were on an extended holiday in Scotland.
(Komowkwa Posted: 28 Jul 2007 06:06)
Unfortunately, they returned. Older but no wiser.
(jjz Posted: 28 Jul 2007 06:15)
Fortunately however they missed the floods that recently raged through various parts of England.
(Neologist Posted: 28 Jul 2007 07:04)
Unfortunately more rain is forecast so they may not have missed the floods after all. (Just watched the news headlines)
(stygiania Posted: 28 Jul 2007 12:51)
Fortunately there is a great sale on floatation vests at Marks & Spencer.
(De2164 Posted: 28 Jul 2007 12:53)
Unfortunately, they are sold out and are only giving out rain-tickets until they are back in stock.
(Not too sure how universal the term rain-ticket is, it is a voucher so you can get the sale price after the sale is over.)
(Neologist Posted: 28 Jul 2007 13:08)
Fortunately nobody here's heard of a rain ticket so they thlnk it grants immunity from flooding which improves morale.
(ortonmc Posted: 28 Jul 2007 14:12)
Unfortunately they rapidly discover that they're mistaken in that regard.
(papeters Posted: 28 Jul 2007 14:17)
Fortunately, the investigation of the term "rain ticket" leads them to discover another Americanism, "the bottomless coffee cup", and they can spend hours at a diner spending only a dollar.
(aliwood Posted: 28 Jul 2007 14:45)
Unfortunately, dollars are not legal tender in UK.
(RGAB Posted: 28 Jul 2007 15:13)
Fortunately, the diner owner collects exotic currencies so their $2 bill was accepted for the bottomless cups of coffee.
(Neologist Posted: 28 Jul 2007 15:22)
Unfortunately the diner owner took the concept of a bottomless cup rather too literally.
(aliwood Posted: 28 Jul 2007 15:25)
Fortunately, they were still in Marks and Sparks where there wasn't a diner or a coffee shop (well there isn't in my local one.)
(crb11 Posted: 28 Jul 2007 15:28)
Unfortunately it was time for the plot to restart, so they had to dash back, abandoning their coffee (what there was of it).
(jjz Posted: 28 Jul 2007 18:39)
Fortunately the rain cleared and the sun shone brightly as the cast members made their way to the theatre.
(ortonmc Posted: 28 Jul 2007 19:13)
Unfortunately they all got sunburnt along the way.
(Komowkwa Posted: 28 Jul 2007 20:20)
Fortunately, pain relieving lotion was available in the dressing rooms.
(ortonmc Posted: 28 Jul 2007 20:22)
Unfortunately the lotion interfered with the actors' makeup in a spectacular fashion.
(Neologist Posted: 28 Jul 2007 22:57)
Fortunately, as they were giving a performance of a mediæval masque, the damage to the makeup would not be seen by the audience.
(Komowkwa Posted: 29 Jul 2007 07:01)
Unfortunately, the audience could not hear the actors either.
(Tamise Posted: 29 Jul 2007 07:15)
Fortunately, because the play was in Lithuanian, subtitles were provided.
(Arie Tuinman Posted: 29 Jul 2007 07:49)
Unfortunately the subtitles were in Tagalog.
(aliwood Posted: 29 Jul 2007 07:57)
Fortunately, this was a language the audience spoke fluently
(Neologist Posted: 29 Jul 2007 08:17)
Unfortunately, although they spoke it, they couldn't understand a word of it ... odd that.
(aliwood Posted: 29 Jul 2007 09:53)
Fortunately, one of them was proof-reading a dictionary on DP.
(Neologist Posted: 29 Jul 2007 10:05)
Unfortunately it was an Esperanto dictionary.
(crb11 Posted: 29 Jul 2007 11:58)
Fortunately Elston's comedic skills are of such a high quality that they transcend mere linguistic difficulties.
(aliwood Posted: 29 Jul 2007 12:34)
Unfortunately the play was a tragedy.
(crb11 Posted: 29 Jul 2007 12:40)
Fortunately the audience had no idea!
(aliwood Posted: 29 Jul 2007 13:28)
Unfortunately, neither did the cast.
(ortonmc Posted: 29 Jul 2007 14:55)
Fortunately, in the circumstances the play turned out to be a rollicking comedy despite the playwright's intentions, and everybody enjoyed themselves thoroughly.
(jjz Posted: 29 Jul 2007 19:36)
Unfortunately they all enjoyed themselves so much, the audience was invited to the cast party where everyone over-indulged and awoke the next morning with huge hangovers.
(Purbin_Bupkiss Posted: 29 Jul 2007 20:10)
Fortunately, they had been drinking Baboo Jabberjees, for which the half-life of hangovers is an estimated 5 hours (in the northern hemisphere), or until the first bottomless cup of coffee has been drunk, whichever comes first.
(stygiania Posted: 29 Jul 2007 20:33)
Unfortunately Baboo Jabberjees are specifically illegal and a police officer just happened to be passing by that morning on his way to the donut shop.
(Purbin_Bupkiss Posted: 29 Jul 2007 21:37)
Fortunately, the police officer learned that many members of the cast were Cleveland Indians fans like himself, and they managed to come to an agreement.
(ortonmc Posted: 29 Jul 2007 23:05)
Unfortunately, the police department's Internal Affairs branch got wind of the deal, and launched a bribery investigation.
(Neologist Posted: 30 Jul 2007 02:23)
Fortunately, Internal Affairs (like I) didn't know what a Baboo Jabberjee is, so dropped the investigation for want of evidence. (C'mon someone just what is this Baboo Jabberjee?)
(stygiania Posted: 30 Jul 2007 04:04)
Unfortunately, guilty pleas had already been entered. (Baboo Jabberjee is a project title which has been swiped to become the name of a fictional drink in this story.)
(Neologist Posted: 30 Jul 2007 04:33)
Fortunately, the Court dismissed the case on the basis that the provenance of the Baboo Jabberjee was in question.
(Purbin_Bupkiss Posted: 30 Jul 2007 10:13)
Unfortunately, by this time, the paparazzi had gotten wind of things.
(Arie Tuinman Posted: 30 Jul 2007 10:18)
Fortunately there was a big strike... so no newspaper could publish.
(tenaj Posted: 30 Jul 2007 10:24)
Unfortunately there was a 4 second delay and and the paper got published before the strike.
(Arie Tuinman Posted: 30 Jul 2007 10:34)
Fortunately a squirrel had furtively eaten anything incriminating so no harm was done.
(Purbin_Bupkiss Posted: 30 Jul 2007 10:40)
Unfortunately, it was a DP squirrel, who then suffered from heartburn for weeks as a result.
(jjz Posted: 31 Jul 2007 06:15)
Fortunately other DPers came to the rescue with cures, advice, support and offers to step in and help for as long as it takes for a squirrel to recover from heartburn. The squirrel was so overcome with gratitude, the heartburn cleared up overnight.
(Eryngium Posted: 31 Jul 2007 09:43)
Unfortunately the press had already got wind of the story and the reporters descended
(Komowkwa Posted: 01 Aug 2007 18:13)
Fortunately, the entire press contingent was called away to cover a breaking story regarding another actress driving under the influence.
(Neologist Posted: 02 Aug 2007 02:42)
Unfortunately all their managing editors no longer considered actresses DUI news, so the press corps returned to their original story (if anyone can recall what that was)
(crb11 Posted: 02 Aug 2007 02:53)
Fortunately by now the public had tired of Jaberjeegate and Judy and friends were left to complete the run of the play in peace.
(jjz Posted: 02 Aug 2007 08:25)
Unfortunately, our story has a long way to go before a peaceful ending eventuates.
(Neologist Posted: 02 Aug 2007 09:23)
Fortunately, we have infinite patience.
(Komowkwa Posted: 02 Aug 2007 20:58)
Unfortunately, patience alone may be unable to rescue our story.
(Brownfox Posted: 02 Aug 2007 21:15)
Fortunately, we can always start a new story: "Elston the elephant was very happy.
(ortonmc Posted: 02 Aug 2007 21:26)
Unfortunately, it was because he'd had a few too many peanut coladas, and his dancing was getting a bit erratic.
(RGAB Posted: 02 Aug 2007 21:46)
Fortunately, his dancing was always a bit erratic, so he kept on dancing.
(Neologist Posted: 03 Aug 2007 01:53)
Unfortunately he started to see pink elephants, and fell in love.
(judith_amsterdam Posted: 03 Aug 2007 02:50)
Fortunately, all the other pink elephants loved him right back.
(Eryngium Posted: 03 Aug 2007 05:03)
unfortunately, he was wearing rose-tinted glasses
(De2164 Posted: 03 Aug 2007 10:03)
Fortunately, Since the elephants he saw were albino ones he felt completely comfortable with them also as they all danced together happily.
(Purbin_Bupkiss Posted: 03 Aug 2007 15:50)
Unfortunately, when the drinks cart returned, Elston fell backward right over it and broke not just his glasses but also his bupkiss.
(RGAB Posted: 03 Aug 2007 18:21)
Fortunately, one of the other dancing elephants was a bupkiss doctor and helped Elston fix his bupkiss.
(ortonmc Posted: 03 Aug 2007 19:08)
Unfortunately, after the operation, Elston was unable to play the saxophone.
(Joe Cooper Posted: 03 Aug 2007 20:05)
Fortunately, nobody wanted to hear him play it anyway.
(Komowkwa Posted: 03 Aug 2007 20:57)
Unfortunately, the entire instrument kit for the troupe consisted of 76 saxophones.
(De2164 Posted: 03 Aug 2007 23:04)
Fortunately, 76 dancing penguins that played trombones were willing to trade.
(stygiania Posted: 03 Aug 2007 23:35)
Unfortunately, the musicians behaved (went wild) like children in a toy store and started "goosing" each other with the trombone slides.
(Neologist Posted: 04 Aug 2007 05:33)
Fortunately, they were all playing Alto Trombones, so the slides wouldn't reach.
(De2164 Posted: 04 Aug 2007 11:26)
Unfortunately, a flock of Geese with bass fiddles flew in and taught them the real meaning of being "goosed".
(Purbin_Bupkiss Posted: 22 Dec 2007 12:17)
Fortunately, this thread was relocated just in time for the December holidays--and the storyline had completely changed.
(ortonmc Posted: 22 Dec 2007 12:28)
Unfortunately, Elston will not be making an appearance in this story.
(SMH Posted: 22 Dec 2007 13:02)
Fortunately, he has found another story to occupy his time.
(Merrylon Posted: 22 Dec 2007 13:22)
Unfortunately, he still hasn't managed to locate that missing "l"...
(tenaj Posted: 22 Dec 2007 13:23)
Fortunately any substitute 'l' will do.
(Merrylon Posted: 22 Dec 2007 13:26)
Unfortunately, he's e x t r e m e l y fussy about it.
(tenaj Posted: 22 Dec 2007 13:31)
Fortunately Merrylon's power is greater than tenaj, so all 'l' will be let loose.
(De2164 Posted: 22 Dec 2007 13:58)
Unfortunately, Santa might miss him.
(Merrylon Posted: 22 Dec 2007 14:06)
Fortunately, he has the Elves to fall back on.
(Neologist Posted: 22 Dec 2007 14:12)
Unfortunately falling back on the Elves may not endear them to him.
(Purbin_Bupkiss Posted: 22 Dec 2007 14:13)
Fortunately, a great wingéd bird swooped in and carried us over to the Land of the Pogo-Stick Ungulate, where the denizens offered us fresh fruit and spiced cider as a welcoming gesture.
(Njalsson Posted: 22 Dec 2007 15:55)
Unfortunately the spiced cider ran out long before the fresh fruit, and the gathering began to sober.
(SMH Posted: 22 Dec 2007 17:36)
Fortunately, there was some mulled wine available.
(Brownfox Posted: 22 Dec 2007 17:55)
Unfortunately it had been mulled over too long and was undrinkable.
(Njalsson Posted: 22 Dec 2007 18:18)
Fortunately the ungulates passed pogo-sticks out to us all, and our spirits as well as our bodies began to rise.
(stygiania Posted: 22 Dec 2007 20:39)
Unfortunately the pogo-sticks work only when used by quadrupeds.
(Njalsson Posted: 22 Dec 2007 20:52)
Fortunately, Elston[sic] made an appearance on the first page of this forum and has warped to the present, to bring a huge vote of thanks and gratitude to all who devote so much time and expertise keeping this site functioning, and making it a place where so many chose to come back to day after day and month after month to have their lives enriched.
(Merrylon Posted: 23 Dec 2007 04:30)
Unfortunately, he was drunk as a skunk on sherry at the time and though that was his intention, he could barely get a word out.
(tenaj Posted: 23 Dec 2007 05:58)
Fortunately most DPers could read his excellent sign language.
(crb11 Posted: 23 Dec 2007 06:08)
Unfortunately a couple of the more short-sighted DPers were injured by it as well.
(It's been pointed out to me that this comment could be interpreted as a reflection on what I might be thinking about DP at the minute. Whatever that might be I certainly wouldn't bring it to this thread - my comment was just a musing on the likely nature of elephant sign language and how it might be expressed by one slightly the worse for wear!)
(Merrylon Posted: 23 Dec 2007 07:54)
Fortunately, there was help at hand in the shape of a helpful squirrel.
(tenaj Posted: 23 Dec 2007 08:20)
Unfortunately one of our participants has left for his holes, and the squirrel had gone nuts.
(SMH Posted: 23 Dec 2007 08:37)
Fortunately, most DP'ers, by this stage, were much too drunk to notice, and were, instead, concentrating on how many hot mince pies they could juggle, without dropping their drinks.
(tenaj Posted: 23 Dec 2007 08:43)
Unfortunately supplies are running low, so sobriety may have to return pretty soon.
(Merrylon Posted: 23 Dec 2007 09:08)
Fortunately, there's still the bathtub where a select group have been brewing up some white lightning.
(SMH Posted: 23 Dec 2007 09:23)
Unfortunately, someone lit a match.
(Neologist Posted: 23 Dec 2007 09:25)
Fortunately it went out.
(tenaj Posted: 23 Dec 2007 09:43)
Unfortunately it had forgotten it's sarnies, and came back again...
(RGAB Posted: 23 Dec 2007 13:12)
Fortunately it was so saturated it couldn't relight.
(Merrylon Posted: 23 Dec 2007 13:26)
Unfortunately, a flash of lightning from the brewing storm zig-zagged through the ether and, like being called to like, crashed into the bath and triggered an enormous fire.
(Purbin_Bupkiss Posted: 23 Dec 2007 13:38)
Fortunately, it began to snow and--because many of the south-side windows had been broken on the previous night by one raucous sherry-drinker trying to play Twister in the dark--the fire was subdued.
(Merrylon Posted: 23 Dec 2007 13:59)
Unfortunately, behind a cupboard on the north side wall, a flame burned on unnoticed, and when a sozzled tramp staggered in and collapsed in a heap just inches away, his long, filthy coat began to smoulder.
(tenaj Posted: 23 Dec 2007 14:06)
fortunately it wasn't meth in his bottle, but organic lemonade. Sputter......... out went the flames.
(De2164 Posted: 23 Dec 2007 15:02)
Unfortunately, the organic lemonade was fermented and the fumes from his breath on the still hot embers of the forgotten flame caused them to light again.
(Merrylon Posted: 23 Dec 2007 15:03)
Fortunately, the tramp was so drunk that he didn't feel a thing as he was toasted to a crisp.
(Komowkwa Posted: 24 Dec 2007 00:22)
Unfortunately, his former business partners had allowed his insurance policy to lapse.
(ortonmc Posted: 24 Dec 2007 00:34)
Fortunately, he was being cremated for free, so his funeral expenses were very low. (This is turning into a really cheery Christmas story.)
(jjz Posted: 24 Dec 2007 02:23)
Unfortunately the other tramps were upset to lose their friend and gathered together to commiserate.
(tenaj Posted: 24 Dec 2007 03:19)
Fortunately they were Irish, and knew exactly how to hold a great wake.
(jjz Posted: 24 Dec 2007 03:36)
Unfortunately they had no money to buy refreshments (of the alcoholic kind) so they were quite sombre.
(Merrylon Posted: 24 Dec 2007 04:22)
Fortunately, the content of the bath hadn't been the only booze around: extra supplies had been carefully bottled and stored in the cowshed, where one lady tramp stumbled upon them when she ducked in there to relieve herself.
(Neologist Posted: 24 Dec 2007 04:45)
Unfortunately in stumbling she fell, struck her head, and in her concussed state wandered off, so the rest of the crowd had no idea there was extra booze to be had.
(Njalsson Posted: 24 Dec 2007 13:06)
Fortunately it was near Christmas, the one time of year when "helpers" outnumber the "helped", and in an effort to obtain and adequate supply of "helpees", the "WANP" society paid to have a package store offer its wares freely.
(Komowkwa Posted: 24 Dec 2007 19:02)
Unfortunately, by then all the good stuff was gone so the party had to survive on house brands.
(Merrylon Posted: 25 Dec 2007 06:37)
Fortunately, they were so far gone (and anyway not that fussy), so they didn't notice the difference.
(Neologist Posted: 25 Dec 2007 12:21)
Unfortunately the difference was significant and they all started hallucinating about dancing pink elephants.
(De2164 Posted: 25 Dec 2007 13:14)
Fortunately, it was only for a short time and soon they all were passed-out snoring on the floor fast asleep and only suger plums danced in their heads.
(jjz Posted: 25 Dec 2007 18:22)
Unfortunately they awoke with massive hangovers.
(Merrylon Posted: 26 Dec 2007 04:52)
Fortunately, the empty bath was still standing around, so they didn't make a mess of the floor.
(Komowkwa Posted: 27 Dec 2007 21:36)
Unfortunately, the drain backed up.
(ortonmc Posted: 27 Dec 2007 22:31)
Fortunately, they had a service contract with a local plumber, who promptly sent someone round to correct the problem.
(Merrylon Posted: 28 Dec 2007 04:40)
Unfortunately, the snow was so deep and even that his van got stuck in a drift, and to top it all, he'd left the shovel back at the depot.
(De2164 Posted: 28 Dec 2007 09:20)
Fortunately, the drift he got stuck in was only 20 feet from the driveway of the house he was to go to.
(stygiania Posted: 28 Dec 2007 17:15)
Unfortunately, while he was near the end of the driveway, the driveway was 1-1/2 miles long and uphill both ways.
(Brownfox Posted: 28 Dec 2007 17:21)
Fortunately, as he was also a physicist in his spare time, he identified this as due to the curvature of space-time and was able to calculate a route that delivered him to the front door only a microsecond later.
(Neologist Posted: 29 Dec 2007 04:59)
Unfortunately he still hadn't got a shovel.
(Komowkwa Posted: 29 Dec 2007 23:13)
Fortunately, he brought the Draino®.
(Merrylon Posted: 30 Dec 2007 04:36)
Unfortunately, it was well beyond its use-by date.
(Njalsson Posted: 30 Dec 2007 08:14)
Fortunately, someone spotted a can of One Second Plumber and in no time at all the drains were once again running on time.
(Komowkwa Posted: 30 Dec 2007 09:10)
Unfortunately, on time drains could not prevent the snow from going on.
(Merrylon Posted: 30 Dec 2007 14:19)
Fortunately, a mild south-west wind started to blow, and within no time, the snow began to melt.
(Neologist Posted: 31 Dec 2007 02:07)
Unfortunately this resulted in flash floods and the party was at serious risk of drowning.
(tenaj Posted: 31 Dec 2007 02:23)
Fortunately it was New Year's Eve and optimism was high for a solution next year.
(Neologist Posted: 31 Dec 2007 03:15)
Unfortunately the water level was equally high.
(Merrylon Posted: 31 Dec 2007 04:01)
Fortunately, one of the tramps was a down-and-out former swimming teacher, and at the sight of the rising flood, she gathered everyone round and gave them a life-saving scratch swimming lesson.
(De2164 Posted: 31 Dec 2007 05:44)
Unfortunately, the now rushing waters is flowing too fast for swimming to do any good.
(Njalsson Posted: 31 Dec 2007 10:26)
Fortunately, the flood had breached the windows of a novelty store, and swept thousands of red rubber duckies towards them.
(Merrylon Posted: 31 Dec 2007 11:01)
Unfortunately, the rubber duckies were far too small, and even grabbing a couple in each hand and resting your chin on a fifth wasn't enough to keep you afloat.
(crb11 Posted: 31 Dec 2007 11:10)
Fortunately the influx of red rubber duckies had attracted the attention of some red rubber sharks.
(Neologist Posted: 31 Dec 2007 11:17)
Unfortunately it transpired the sharks weren't rubber, and were red from their previous feeding frenzy.
(Njalsson Posted: 31 Dec 2007 11:43)
Fortunately the sharks were teatotallers and were repulsed by the fumes of alcohol emanating from the bedraggled partyers.
(Merrylon Posted: 31 Dec 2007 15:43)
Unfortunately, several of the sharks had only just recovered from head colds, and their olfactory organs weren't working properly, so they thought the alcohol fumes smelled quite tasty.
(stygiania Posted: 31 Dec 2007 17:19)
Fortunately the sharks' head colds muddled them so much they couldn't tell which direction the smell was coming from and they wandered off in the opposite direction.
(Neologist Posted: 31 Dec 2007 18:03)
Unfortunately a group of the partygoers had become separated from the rest and were in the opposite direction.
(De2164 Posted: 31 Dec 2007 19:04)
Fortunately, the partygoers found and climbed up a hill that poked out of the water.
(ortonmc Posted: 31 Dec 2007 19:34)
Unfortunately it was low tide.
(Njalsson Posted: 31 Dec 2007 20:29)
Fortunately they were far from the ocean, caught in a flash flood of snow runoff caused by the need to unblock the drains.

2008

(Merrylon Posted: 01 Jan 2008 04:30)
Unfortunately, the run-off from the flood had seriously destabilised the hillside, and before they knew what was happening, a mudslide had started and they were slithering at top speed towards the sharks' gaping jaws...
(De2164 Posted: 01 Jan 2008 06:30)
Fortunately, the mud filled the mouths of the sharks before the people got to them and they floated downstream as the sharks sank to the bottom.
(Komowkwa Posted: 02 Jan 2008 02:15)
Unfortunately, all the booze was gone with the sharks.
(ortonmc Posted: 02 Jan 2008 11:22)
Fortunately, there was a liquor store just down the road.
(Njalsson Posted: 02 Jan 2008 12:32)
Unfortunately is was the Day after New Years, and that store was again in the same situation it was in on December 24--all the good stuff gone. [see page 59]
(De2164 Posted: 02 Jan 2008 13:12)
Fortunately, you can get just as drunk on a cheap wine as a fine wine, but being New Years and their hang-overs are at its worst they all resolve to never drink to excess ever again.
(Njalsson Posted: 02 Jan 2008 18:44)
Unfortunately their resolve wore off with their hangovers.
(Komowkwa Posted: 02 Jan 2008 21:46)
Fortunately, there was a Starbucks right on the corner and they resolved to do triple shots in an effort to develop the energy to continue their quest.
(De2164 Posted: 02 Jan 2008 22:46)
Unfortunately, it was triple shots of rum with the coffee so now they are now talking like drunk wired chipmunks.
(stygiania Posted: 02 Jan 2008 23:11)
Fortunately everyone wore intentional translators which are quite capable of making sense of "drunk wired chipmunk" talk.
(Njalsson Posted: 02 Jan 2008 23:31)
Unfortunately they were not only talking like drunk wired chipmunks, they were also walking like drunk tired squirrels.
(Merrylon Posted: 05 Jan 2008 04:39)
Fortunately, the local motel had escaped snow, fire, flood, mudslide and sharks, so at least they had somewhere warm and safe to go.
(Neologist Posted: 05 Jan 2008 05:07)
Unfortunately the drunk tired squirrels had taken all the motel rooms, so the party had to move on.
(De2164 Posted: 05 Jan 2008 07:49)
Fortunately, on the next corner was the Bates Motel, they have wonderful bathrooms and Mr Hitchcock highly recommends the place.
(Merrylon Posted: 05 Jan 2008 11:17)
Unfortunately, the owner hadn't moved out of her chair in ... ooh, about a decade, and her son was suffering from a really bad Oedipus complex, which made him rather unsafe around the shower.
(Neologist Posted: 05 Jan 2008 13:02)
Fortunately, after all their adversities, the voyagers had no interest in the shower except to lock the son in it, change the music playing to something tranquil, and get their heads down.
(Njalsson Posted: 05 Jan 2008 14:27)
Unfortunately, while everyone was sleeping soundly, the son pried the cover off the air vent and began slowly to inch himself into it and toward the unwary sleepers.
(Neologist Posted: 05 Jan 2008 14:42)
Fortunately he got stuck in a bend in the vent and was quite unable to move forwards or backwards.
(crb11 Posted: 05 Jan 2008 17:54)
Unfortunately his resulting cries and groans echoed through the vent, disturbing everyone's sleep.
(Komowkwa Posted: 06 Jan 2008 20:01)
Fortunately, the motel had free internet service and they were all able to put themselves to sleep waiting for web sites to load.
(Merrylon Posted: 08 Jan 2008 04:05)
Unfortunately, the vent finally gave way beneath his weight, and he grabbed a kitchen knife and headed for the bedrooms, eager to vent his fury on the hapless sleepers.
(crb11 Posted: 08 Jan 2008 07:46)
Fortunately one of the voyagers had finally managed to load up a webpage containing reviews of the motel, so had some inkling of its history.
(Njalsson Posted: 08 Jan 2008 19:39)
Unfortunately the recent stress had triggered a psychotic episode in him, and he went to help the son fulfill his Oedipal plans.
(Neologist Posted: 09 Jan 2008 04:41)
Fortunately the son had no plans, Oedipal or otherwise, and explained that he had been told by Mr Hitchock to menace all visitors to the motel until instructed to cease, which instruction said Mr Hitchcock had overlooked, so son was both relieved and annoyed to learn that he had been menacing folk unnecessarily for the last 48 years and, bursting into tears, surrendered his knife and collapsed to the floor.
(Komowkwa Posted: 09 Jan 2008 08:05)
Unfortunately, his trick drew his intended victims within striking range of his other knife.
(Njalsson Posted: 10 Jan 2008 00:25)
Fortunately, just at that moment, the fundament beneath the mud into which Ellston[sic] has been irrevocably sinking for weeks in another story suddenly gave way, and he dropped unceremoniously on top of the son, incapacitating the son, but causing only minor irritation to his own pachydermal hide.
(crb11 Posted: 10 Jan 2008 21:54)
Unfortunately the sudden and surprise disappearance of their protagonist proved a more major irritation to the authors of the other story.
(ortonmc Posted: 10 Jan 2008 21:59)
Fortunately his understudy, Jean-Mohammad, was waiting in the wings to replace him.
(De2164 Posted: 11 Jan 2008 15:21)
Unfortunately now Jean-Mohammad is irrevocably sinking that same mud.
(Njalsson Posted: 11 Jan 2008 16:46)
Fortunately, they all ptiched in and repaired the motel roof, removing the danger that J.-M. would suffer the same fate as Ellston, and initiate an avalanche of failed protagonists falling into this thread.
(jjz Posted: 11 Jan 2008 22:51)
Unfortunately it was too late.
(Njalsson Posted: 11 Jan 2008 23:14)
Fortunately the January thaw that had caused the flood which created such havoc in this thread had also evaporated away the backlog of failed protagonists, so there were none left to fall into this thread.
(Neologist Posted: 14 Jan 2008 06:57)
Unfortunately the protagonists in this thread were unaware that the threat of others descending on them from another thread was lifted, had spent over two days cowering under the beds in the motel (we are still in a motel right!), and were on the point of expiring through stress, hunger and dehydration.
(Komowkwa Posted: 14 Jan 2008 08:16)
Fortunately, a pizza delivery guy showed up at the door by mistake and was willing to leave the large pizza, a bottle of Pepsi® and the breadsticks in exchange for a knife and an autographed picture of Ellston.
(stygiania Posted: 14 Jan 2008 08:43)
Unfortunately instead of a large pizza, the box contained a dozen starving, crazed weasels.
(Njalsson Posted: 14 Jan 2008 08:58)
Fortunately, our party suffered even more from weaselophobia than from protagonaphobia, and clutching their Pepsis, they all ran out of the motel into the open air.
(Neologist Posted: 14 Jan 2008 09:13)
Unfortunately they ran straight into a whole platoon of manic, knife-carrying sons.
(Merrylon Posted: 14 Jan 2008 09:13)
Unfortunately, the area was now blanketed in dense fog, and they were unable to see where they were going, so they staggered to a halt.
(Neologist Posted: 14 Jan 2008 09:19)
Fortunately the manic knife-carriers couldn't see anything either. (Does that get us out of it?)
(Njalsson Posted: 14 Jan 2008 11:59)
Unfortunately, having got ourselves as well as our group of Irish tramps holding a wake for one of their own "out of it" we and they were directionless for the moment, not knowing whether to ply novel uncharted waters, or to continue on as we and they had been.
(Neologist Posted: 15 Jan 2008 02:54)
Fortunately one of the tramps found a coin to toss, and it elected that they should ply uncharted waters (metaphorically) so they headed en masse for a nearby airport, glad to leave the notorious motel with its knife wielding maniac(s) behind. (By "out of it" I  was intending to refer to the two "unfortunatelys" that preceded the post, but this is a better interpretation.)
(De2164 Posted: 15 Jan 2008 05:15)
Unfortunately, that motel is a chain of motels now and was the only one available at the airport and the floods still have the airport closed down, however (yes I hear you grumbling) the train terminal was near by and they all boarded a train.
(jjz Posted: 15 Jan 2008 08:37)
Fortunately (um, should this be a fortunately--the previous ended pretty well ah well, to continue) fortunately the knife-weilding maniacs didn't like trains so the Irish tramps travelled safely to France.
(Merrylon Posted: 15 Jan 2008 14:23)
Unfortunately, there was a cheese strike at the airport, and the tramps were immediately co-opted to lie down on the tarmac and sacrifice themselves for the good of the Gruyère.
(Neologist Posted: 15 Jan 2008 15:33)
Fortunately, since Gruyère is a Swiss cheese, and there was a glut of French Camembert and Brie, the tramps were immediately released with enough of the latter to sustain them, and Mack, for a month.
(Njalsson Posted: 16 Jan 2008 12:49)
Unfortunately, as you can see, Mack had been training for at least 21 hours preparing for this day, when he went AWOL into the sewers of Paris and informed all who would follow him of the immense cache of cheese available to all stout hearted rodents.
(Neologist Posted: 17 Jan 2008 03:46)
Fortunately Mack didn't find it all that unfortunate to have discovered an undeground vein of cheese, quickly ate his fill then hurried back with as much as he could carry to work off his over-indulgence leaving the party of tramps, who had followed him into the sewers, to stock up in preparation for the adventures that lay ahead of them.
(Merrylon Posted: 17 Jan 2008 04:43)
Unfortunately, as they were slicing their way through the Roquefort and the imported (!) Gruyère, they came across the ancient Royal wine cellars which had been lost in the days of Napoleon the Third and started in on the well-aged port.
(Njalsson Posted: 18 Jan 2008 09:01)
Fortunately, none of them had as yet any inkling of why such a find was unfortunate, and they settled in to enjoy their impromptu wine and cheese time with drinks whose quality far surpassed what had been available to them during the holiday season, as blissfully unaware of the impending misfortune about to befall them as is the present writer.
(Merrylon Posted: 19 Jan 2008 04:59)
Unfortunately, the wine was not only far past its best, it had also been used as a carrier medium in dastardly 19th century experiments designed to breed a new rat plague, so after just a few bottles, the unsuspecting tramps started to go green around the gills.
(Komowkwa Posted: 19 Jan 2008 17:59)
Fortunately, the Center for Disease Control was having a convention in the area and twelve plague specialists were on the scene in no time.
(Njalsson Posted: 19 Jan 2008 21:52)
Unfortunately the twelve specialists each had twelve hypotheses about the origin of the new plague and twelve plans of treatment for each hypothesis, and they became hopelessly bogged down discussing the merits of the 1728 different options available.
(Neologist Posted: 20 Jan 2008 07:45)
Fortunately the the convention was being hosted by the Pasteur Institute and one of their specialists took a look and immediately came up with a 1729th option that turned out to be correct and enabled an effective treatment program to be commenced immediately.
(Merrylon Posted: 20 Jan 2008 07:53)
Unfortunately, the authorities were too slow in setting up disease control procedures, and as a result, the Pasteur Institute expert was one of the first to fall victim to the rampant plague (the gory details of which we, in conscience, find ourselves obliged to withhold from the gentle reader), and since, though brilliant, he was useless at delegating, nobody was quite sure how to proceed with his plan.
(Neologist Posted: 20 Jan 2008 08:16)
Fortunately, because of his long term exposure to very small doses of pathogens of all kinds, the Pasteur specialist had developed partial immunity to the plague, so in his particular case there was nothing gory about his condition and he rapidly made a full recovery and returned to work.
(Njalsson Posted: 20 Jan 2008 12:01)
Unfortunately, during all the time that the authorities had been concentrating on our Irish tramps, no one thought about Mack who had tippled just a bit while he was gathering his cheese and his hoard of grateful followers, and now he and they were carrying the pathogen throughout the metropolis, not only endangering the human population, but also upsetting the delicate balance in the waste disposal system because so many of its most assiduous workers were indisposed.
(Njalsson Posted: 23 Jan 2008 16:51)
Unfortunately my last unfortunately seems to have stalled the story--so lets pretend it isn't there.
(Neologist Posted: 25 Jan 2008 05:58)
Fortunately it is there, and Mack being a fit and healthy rodent (all that working out in the wheel) rapidly developed antibodies to the pathogen, which he disseminated by the high risk but ultimately successful strategy of spending the last few days biting everyone's toes, including the Irish tramps, while they were sleeping, thereby bringing the epidemic under control, and leaving the group of tramps free to head for some skiing in the Alps.
(Merrylon Posted: 25 Jan 2008 07:48)
Unfortunately, the weather, while gloriously fine, had been wholly unsuitable for skiing, and they arrived to find the pistes green and spring-like.
(Brownfox Posted: 25 Jan 2008 07:54)
Fortunately, they had all brought their walking boots in preparation for this eventuality and resolved to go hill-walking instead.
(Merrylon Posted: 25 Jan 2008 09:39)
Unfortunately, being tramps, their walking boots were in dire shape, with holes galore (well, what do you expect?) and it didn't take long before they collapsed under a rock just outside a large, dark and smelly cave with feet covered in blisters.
(Neologist Posted: 25 Jan 2008 09:51)
Fortunately, the large, dark and smelly cave with feet covered in blisters housed a cobblers workshop, where a team of craftsmen soon had the party well shod and on it's way.
(Njalsson Posted: 25 Jan 2008 16:58)
Unfortunately they didn't realize that a cave with feet, blistered or not, was not likely to be as innocent as it appeared, and as our party meandered off, the apparently solid walls ominously sprouted thick fur.
(Merrylon Posted: 26 Jan 2008 06:50)
Fortunately, one of the tramps had been a Surrealist artist in another life, and the sight inspired her so much that she did an about turn, left the cave, returned to civilisation, rebuilt her life and went on to a satisfying career in movie design.
(Komowkwa Posted: 27 Jan 2008 21:48)
Unfortunately, one of the other tramps reported him to the IRS and collected a big reward when they got the movie designer for tax fraud.
(Neologist Posted: 28 Jan 2008 04:36)
Fortunately the tramp spent the reward purchasing fifty thousand pomegranates, which turned to be a favourite delicacy of caves with feet whose walls sprout thick fur, and the group was able to make good their escape, to be rejoined by the aspiring movie designer who through the actions of the IRS was once more destitute.
(Njalsson Posted: 29 Jan 2008 14:39)
Unfortunately, the experience of consuming so much delicious tropical fruit reminded the cave of how much it had lost when it had been banished from the sunny climes of Andalusia to the snowy peaks of the Alps, and it resolved to leave them and return to a land flowing with pomegranates and tramps.
(Njalsson Posted: 06 Feb 2008 16:58)
Fortunately, all Mack's training had given him excellent vision, and he was miraculously able to decipher the toga of L. Africanus, who had written on how to tame footed caves. (Guess not everyone appreciates our wit as much as we do.)
(Neologist Posted: 07 Feb 2008 05:03)
Unfortunately Mack, while able to decipher the letters, could go no further as he knew not a word of dutch, so he decided to ignore this rather bizarre cave and have some lunch.
(britething Posted: 07 Feb 2008 07:01)
Fortunately, these caves proved extremely comfortable for luncheon, and Mack decided to invite a friend of his, someone with considerable knowledge of caves, furry and otherwise - the abominable snowman.
(De2164 Posted: 07 Feb 2008 16:53)
Unfortunately, the furry cave does not care for the abominable snowman and began to run away with Mack still in it.
(britething Posted: 07 Feb 2008 16:56)
Fortunately, abominable snowmen run extremely fast, and Mack was able to be saved by dangling out of the cave's mouth, and allowing himself to be carried away to freedom.
(De2164 Posted: 07 Feb 2008 17:03)
Unfortunately, the abominable snowman trips and Mack flies deep into an extermly thick and thorny briar patch.
(britething Posted: 07 Feb 2008 17:17)
Fortunately, Mack has nearly no nerve-endings in his rump, thereby allowing him to extract himself and remove all offending thorns, with barely a wince.
(Njalsson Posted: 08 Feb 2008 15:35)
Unfortunately, while Mack and his abominable friend were thus distracted, the cave slipped quietly out of their sight and resumed his relentless march toward the Spanish pomegranate fields.
(britething Posted: 08 Feb 2008 18:36)
Fortunately, freak weather conditions combined to produce a tornado which swept the furry cave up, up and away ...
(david_t Posted: 09 Feb 2008 03:10)
Unfortunately, because Mack had been freed from the briar patch before the tornado came, he and his friend, the snowman, were catched by that horrific whirl too....
(De2164 Posted: 09 Feb 2008 04:32)
Fortunately, they were not taken too far and also just missed landing back in the brier patch again.
(britething Posted: 09 Feb 2008 13:18)
Unfortunately, Mack found his leg was stiff and swollen, and he thought he must have broken it in the fall.
(De2164 Posted: 09 Feb 2008 14:43)
Fortunately, the abominable snowman who has to live largely a hidden life knows a lot about medicines and how to treat injuries like broken bones.  He soon has the leg in a splint made from brier thorns and is now carrying Mack to a safe place to be left knowing he would be found and taken to a hospital.
(Komowkwa Posted: 09 Feb 2008 21:21)
Unfortunately, abominable tripped, dropping Mack with such force that his collar bone and three ribs broke when they struck a briar stump.
(britething Posted: 10 Feb 2008 07:34)
Fortunately, a forest ranger in a helicopter happened to be passing by, and saw the two friends in a predicament. He managed to land in a clearing.
(Neologist Posted: 10 Feb 2008 08:20)
Unfortunately, once the helicopter had carried the pair to safety, Mack immediately contacted the Rodent Rescue Brigade, and was whisked away home to recuperate, swearing never ever again to become embroiled with tramps, snowmen (abominable or otherwise), or ambulatory caves.
(britething Posted: 10 Feb 2008 12:26)
Fortunately, the abominable snowman was a solitary kind of guy, so he didn't take it too personally when he found himself alone again. He asked the chopper pilot to drop him off somewhere nice and cold, so that he could find a quiet place to hang out in.
(De2164 Posted: 11 Feb 2008 21:53)
Unfortunately, the helicopter's compass was not working correctly and they flew south where it is warmer instead.  By the time this was realized the helicopter was low on fuel.
(britething Posted: 12 Feb 2008 12:18)
Fortunately, they were able to make an emergency landing in a military base nearby, where a private jet was waiting to take some top-brass on an arctic seal-hunting expedition. Abominable was able to hitch a ride, on condition he stayed in the baggage hold, and didn't eat the provisions.
(De2164 Posted: 12 Feb 2008 14:32)
Unfortunately, "Save the Seal" heard about the flight and protested on the field with a sit-in around the jet which prevented them from taking off.
(Neologist Posted: 12 Feb 2008 14:56)
Fortunately Abominable, by revealing himself briefly, scared the "Save the Sealers" witless and they abandoned the protest with alacrity, and soon the party was safely airborne.
(britething Posted: 12 Feb 2008 17:21)
Unfortunately, Abominable got hungry during the flight - very hungry indeed - and thereby proceeded to rummage through all the baggage in the hold, devouring the edible and not-so-edible contents of the parcels and cases within.
(De2164 Posted: 12 Feb 2008 21:42)
Fortunately, he was able to use the on-plane restroom when that time came around after eating so much.
(ortonmc Posted: 12 Feb 2008 22:59)
Unfortunately, the plane wasn't equipped with holding tanks, and he flushed just as they were flying over an auxiliary vessel of the U.S. Navy.
(britething Posted: 13 Feb 2008 05:40)
Fortunately an air pocket buffeted the plane just as its foul load was released, sending it raining down into the sea to be eaten by fishes [and shall we have no more of this base scatological talk, please].
(De2164 Posted: 13 Feb 2008 23:42)
Unfortunately, the air pocket also damaged the airplane.
(Neologist Posted: 14 Feb 2008 02:24)
Fortunately the damage was slight affecting only one channel of the in-flight entertainment system, so the aircraft was able proceed as planned.
(britething Posted: 14 Feb 2008 15:50)
Unfortunately, this somehow compromised the plane's navigational instruments, and forced a crash-landing in icy waters.
(ortonmc Posted: 14 Feb 2008 15:57)
Fortunately a fishing boat was nearby, and it hurried to the rescue.
(britething Posted: 14 Feb 2008 16:00)
Unfortunately, it was a Russian fishing boat, and none of the military top brass could speak Russian, having all been trained to do Middle-Eastern counter intelligence.
(Komowkwa Posted: 14 Feb 2008 22:36)
Fortunately, several of the Russians were also interested in seal hunting, joined the hunt and were able to get Abominable to agree to guide the expedition and serve as a Russian-English translator.
(britething Posted: 15 Feb 2008 06:26)
Unfortunately, at this point, Abominable began suffering from terrible stomach pangs due to having eaten several cordless razors, a few boxes of condoms and the entire collection of Encyclopedia Britannica that had been stowed in the hold of the jet.
(Neologist Posted: 15 Feb 2008 07:49)
Fortunately, being so stuffed full of knowledge, he was rapidly able to sort himself out.
(Njalsson Posted: 15 Feb 2008 21:51)
Unfortunately, all this talk of stomach pangs, led this writer along the forbidden scatological path, and while Abominable was quietly enduring the results of such overeating, the plane began to sink without the Russians having yet understood its predicament.
(ortonmc Posted: 15 Feb 2008 22:02)
Fortunately the sharp-eyed Russian captain quickly grasped the situation, and had the crew launch the lifeboat to rescue Abominable and his friends.
(Komowkwa Posted: 15 Feb 2008 22:49)
Unfortunately, this lifeboat had a large hole in the bottom and only one paddle.
(Neologist Posted: 16 Feb 2008 03:30)
Fortunately the hole in the bottom turned out to be a moon pool used for purposes undisclosed, and the lifeboat had a powerful and serviceable inboard motor, the paddle being for emergency use only.
(De2164 Posted: 16 Feb 2008 11:44)
Unfortunately, there was no gas for the engine, it had all leaked out into the moon pool.  Which also made the boat a fire hazard.
(david_t Posted: 16 Feb 2008 11:57)
Fortunately, the weather was changing, and strong rainstorm, which started nearly immediately, ward off danger of fire.
(Rebecca W Posted: 18 Feb 2008 14:22)
Unfortunately, the effect of the downpour on Abominable's hirsute form was to produce an overwhelming stench, the one that is chemically possible only when a liquid is applied to the coat of some particular furry mammals: Wet Dog.
(britething Posted: 18 Feb 2008 17:08)
Fortunately, the smell of wet yeti was of no consequence to the Russian crew and a planeload of American military hotshots, all dying for a meal, some clean, dry clothes and some good vodka/bourbon.
(Neologist Posted: 18 Feb 2008 17:16)
Unfortunately Abominable was also partial to good vodka/bourbon and had already drunk the lot.
(De2164 Posted: 18 Feb 2008 18:44)
Fortunately, there was not enough to make a creature that size overly drunk.
(britething Posted: 18 Feb 2008 19:04)
Unfortunately, the fact that there wasn't enough to get Abominable completely legless, did little to alleviate the building sense of frustration, caused by his many misdemeanours. In true superstitious maritime fashion, it was hastily decided that he should be thrown overboard, before any more bad things occured.
(Neologist Posted: 18 Feb 2008 19:19)
Fortunately, since that was two sentences, the plan to throw Abominable overboard was quashed, which was just as well because jettisoning a yeti is easier said than done.
(Rebecca W Posted: 18 Feb 2008 19:30)
Unfortunately, Abominable had already resigned himself to his cruel fate, thrown himself overboard in an attempt at dignity, and was sinking five leagues through the icy depths before the crew of the lifeboat returned their attention to the whereabouts of the doomed yeti.
(De2164 Posted: 18 Feb 2008 20:09)
Fortunately, he can hold his breath and swims to safety.
(Rebecca W Posted: 18 Feb 2008 20:14)
Unfortunately, his mental state is permanently altered for the worst by his recent trials.
(De2164 Posted: 18 Feb 2008 20:17)
Fortunately, cousin Big Foot, knows a good Psychologist to help him recover.
(Rebecca W Posted: 18 Feb 2008 20:24)
Unfortunately, Big Foot hatched a plot to usurp Abominable's tales of adventure for his own and pen a NYT bestselling autobiography.
(Neologist Posted: 18 Feb 2008 20:37)
Fortunately Abominable, having no more idea of what an NYT bestseller is than I do, persevered to produce an international bestseller that outsold Big Foot's by an unassailable margin.
(Njalsson Posted: 18 Feb 2008 21:18)
Unfortunately the New York Times, bitterly possessive of its bestseller list launched a vicious and unfounded copyright infringement suit against Abominable on behalf of Big Foot.
(Neologist Posted: 19 Feb 2008 03:57)
Fortunately Abominable entered a counterclaim for breach of copyright, which he won, which was as well for the editor of the NYT (should have guessed that) for, had he lost, Abominable had determined he would eat the editor, and maybe a couple of sub-editors for afters.
(Njalsson Posted: 20 Feb 2008 20:59)
Unfortunately yeti blood ran as hot in Big Foot as in Abominable, and his disappointment at losing the struggle turn to rage at Lucinda Letherlip, the NYT reporter who had suggested the plagiarism to him.
(britething Posted: 21 Feb 2008 03:34)
Fortunately, Lucinda's boyfriend had a swanky chalet in Aspen, so she was able to take off to the mountains to hide.
(Njalsson Posted: 21 Feb 2008 14:39)
Unfortunately, just at that time the YCUS [Yeti Colloquium on Unconfirmed Sightings] happened to be meeting in the mountains of Colorado around Aspen and both Abominable and Big Foot had managed to stowaway on the very same plane as Lucinda to Aspen.
(britething Posted: 21 Feb 2008 15:51)
Fortunately, Lucinda, being a very practical sort of girl, had decided to work under a pseudonym in order to cover the Colloquium, and had brought along notebooks and tape-recorder in the hope of getting an interview with Jeremy Bernstein (the leading world authority on Bigfoot), who had promised that there may even be a sighting, not dreaming for one moment that there would be, but in the hope of getting some free publicity. (OK, you want just one sentence? Better get used to long ones!)
(Komowkwa Posted: 21 Feb 2008 23:31)
Unfortunately for Bernstein, Abominable recognized him from his face book page and hid out in a movie theater at Front Range Institute of Art and Design, spending the next five days watching student films.
(britething Posted: 22 Feb 2008 15:52)
Fortunately for Lucinda, this meant that she was safe from any attempt on the part of Abominable to eat her/kidnap her/beat her up.
(crb11 Posted: 22 Feb 2008 17:32)
Unfortunately several of the directors of the less watchable student films met a premature end instead.
(Rebecca W Posted: 22 Feb 2008 18:14)
Fortunately, when Abominable digested those student filmmakers, he took on a sensitive streak and a penchant for wearing neck scarves in any kind of weather, thus increasing his character development for this thread.
(britething Posted: 23 Feb 2008 04:17)
Unfortunately, in wishing to express his newfound 'arty' streak, Abominable chose to steal a purple scarf from a viewer in the row in front of his in the cinema, who just happened to be the Mayor's wife; she was extremely upset and vocal about her loss, and insisted something be done to rid Aspen of unruly, carnivorous yetis.
(Neologist Posted: 23 Feb 2008 08:41)
Fortunately, the Mayor was not entirely displeased to find he had suddenly become a widower.
(britething Posted: 23 Feb 2008 13:44)
Unfortunately for the Mayor, the news of his wife's demise was unfounded, she had merely lost her scarf, not her life.
(Njalsson Posted: 23 Feb 2008 15:57)
Fortunately for the Mayor, his brief experience of the single life helped him realize how much he hated his present circumstances, and he decided to slough off his conventional life of mayoring and head into the darkest depths of unexplored Colorado, taking with him the intrepid guide, Abominable, who was so happy to be back in his native country and wearing his favourite colour that he foreswore eating people for at least 18 months.
(britething Posted: 23 Feb 2008 17:31)
Unfortunately, Abominable, having a semi-animal brain, has trouble with the notion of the passing of time, and his grasp of the number of days passed, and those days still to come is very tenuous.
(Neologist Posted: 24 Feb 2008 07:17)
Fortunately they were so isolated that the only person available for lunch was the former mayor, whom Abominable considered a good friend for taking him to the wilderness.
(britething Posted: 24 Feb 2008 07:49)
Unfortunately, the expression "only person available for lunch" is somewhat ambiguous when discussing the eating habits of a yeti.
(Komowkwa Posted: 24 Feb 2008 09:10)
Fortunately for Abominable, there was plenty to eat and they decided to make their way North to meet up with the Mayor's classmates from airport security guard school.
(De2164 Posted: 24 Feb 2008 12:53)
Unfortunately, the Rocky Mountains is Big Foot's home and territory, they meet again and begin to spar.
(ortonmc Posted: 24 Feb 2008 13:12)
Fortunately, after half an hour of indecisive battle, they decide to call it quits and become friends.
(britething Posted: 24 Feb 2008 19:05)
Unfortunately, the Mayor of Aspen, terrified at the sight of two blood-curdling yetis fighting tooth and nail, had decided to flee the site of the battle, and Abominable was sorely distressed at the loss of his human buddy.
(Rebecca W Posted: 25 Feb 2008 05:04)
Fortunately, the mayor had left Abominable with his e-mail address, a WiFi-enabled notebook PC, and a promise to correspond fortnightly.
(De2164 Posted: 25 Feb 2008 10:20)
Unfortunately, in the wilderness there are no places to recharge batteries so the computer was soon dead.
(Neologist Posted: 25 Feb 2008 11:03)
Fortunately it didn't matter because the nearest WiFi hot spot was over 100 miles away, so it wouldn't have been much use for communications anyway.
(Njalsson Posted: 28 Feb 2008 14:50)
Unfortunately, the yelling yetis caused the mayor to forget that Abominable was his only guide in this snowy wilderness and he became hopelessly lost a few minutes after he had passed beyond being able to hear the chatting of his intrepid guide and his former foe.
(Komowkwa Posted: 29 Feb 2008 21:52)
Fortunately, the election was only a few days away so Aspen had no trouble replacing the mayor.
(caw Posted: 01 Mar 2008 09:31)
Unfortunately, since the current mayor didn't want to be replaced, the looming election did not douse his anxiety, nor help him find a way out of his predicament.
(Neologist Posted: 02 Mar 2008 04:27)
Fortunately the mayor suddenly remembered that not so long ago he'd decided to slough off his conventional life of mayoring and head for the wildeness, which was exactly what had happened.
(Komowkwa Posted: 02 Mar 2008 20:10)
Unfortunately, the mayor's boyfriend thought that this was a good time to "come clean" with the story about the mayor's infidelity during his appearance in a four part segment on Jerry Springer dealing with foot fetishes.
(Neologist Posted: 03 Mar 2008 06:19)
Fortunately, Abominable was himself an ardent foot fetishist and, having watched the program by means unbeknownst to science, searched high and low until he found the ex-Mayor, so the intrepid pair were reunited.
(Njalsson Posted: 03 Mar 2008 18:54)
Unfortunately, when they reached their rendezvous point, the mayor's former classmates from airport security school, with whom they had planned to meet up, were no where to be seen, and the mayor got the sinking feeling that perhaps Big Foot or another of the more heartless specimens of the tribe had stumbled across his school mates before him.
(Komowkwa Posted: 05 Mar 2008 00:06)
Fortunately, the nearly endless supply of airport security school graduates more than makes up for the loss linked to Big Foot.
(Njalsson Posted: 05 Mar 2008 12:18)
Unfortunately, although the loss had no effect on the nation's airports, it was deeply felt by our intrepid duo, whose despondency only increased when they noticed that britething, whose bright ideas had often helped them forward in the past, had not been seen in the depths of their Colorado wilderness for the past ten days. (I seem to be on a roll of unfortunately's.)
(britething Posted: 09 Mar 2008 19:08)
Fortunately, britething is back in business, after a week in the snow looking for Bigfoot, and ardently wishes for the mayor and his boyfriend to be reunited, especially since the once-famous scarf, stolen by Abominable had in fact been left behind in the mayor's house by the mayor's boyfriend, had been found by the mayor's wife and worn to the cinema on that fateful day in Aspen.
(ortonmc Posted: 09 Mar 2008 19:37)
Unfortunately the cinema experienced a power failure that day, so nobody was able to watch the film.
(david_t Posted: 10 Mar 2008 02:01)
Fortunately, one of the visitors, anxious to see the film, was a qualified electrician, who, after a quick searching, was able to identify source of the problem--the main power switch had been switched off by someone--and to repair it.
(Neologist Posted: 10 Mar 2008 04:52)
Unfortunately another visitor, NOT a qualified electrician, was trying to repair what he thought was the problem by fiddling around in a junction box ... he got a real kick out of the movie.
(britething Posted: 10 Mar 2008 09:36)
Fortunately, the unqualified electrician was able to be saved from electrocution by the Mayor's wife who happened to be a former nurse, and who was sitting in the cinema theatre that day. (Is this story going round in circles or what?)
(Neologist Posted: 10 Mar 2008 10:24)
Unfortunately it is going round in circles, but I'm going to leave it to "Fortunately" to sort that one out.
(Brownfox Posted: 10 Mar 2008 11:42)
Fortunately circles are perfect, in the opinion of the Greeks.
(Neologist Posted: 10 Mar 2008 12:01)
Unfortunately, that's not a lot of help.
(britething Posted: 10 Mar 2008 12:28)
Fortunately, britething is determined that the Mayor of Aspen and his boyfriend should meet up again, and thus decrees that the two are teleported through time and space along vectors unknown to science today, and surface in a hot tub in a remote corner of the Colorado mountain range, courtesy of Abominable and Bigfoot, who are hosting a lavish all-comers party in a luxurious chalet ...
(ortonmc Posted: 10 Mar 2008 12:42)
Unfortunately, after being teleported fully dressed into a hot tub, their clothes were sopping wet.
(Neologist Posted: 10 Mar 2008 13:31)
Fortunately, the previous contributor had much experience of mopping up so the crew were soon dry again, and ready for anything.
(De2164 Posted: 10 Mar 2008 20:32)
Unfortunately, Jack the Jolly Janitor from page 1 was part of that crew and once again had a most viral strain of the flu which everyone at once got.
(Njalsson Posted: 11 Mar 2008 14:54)
Fortunately the familiar and comforting green card photo reappeared just in time, and after some chicken soup everyone felt much better, but still musing over what a previous contributor had meant by saying a previous contributor had mopping experience. After a brief appearance here, Mickey as the sorcerer's apprentice returned to limbo.
(britething Posted: 11 Mar 2008 17:26)
Unfortunately, I have no idea who Jack the Jolly Janitor is (although any friend of Bigfoot's is a friend of mine) so I feel I cannot contribute here at the moment and I am off to read page 1 ... I am also perplexed as to what mopping up experience is (although I suspect I have quite a bit) and wonder which previous contributor is meant ...
(Komowkwa Posted: 11 Mar 2008 22:34)
Fortunately, the story will be continued in the next chapter.
(Neologist Posted: 12 Mar 2008 05:50)
Unfortunately, although the next chapter is upon us, it does not continue the story, but starts a new one, opening: Fortunately when Henry awoke, he realised the weird happenings involving Irish tramps, Bates Motel, ambulatory caves, yetis, a mayor with an identity crisis and unfathomable references to mopping up had been but a dream, and, anticipating a great day ahead, he leaped out of bed, a song on his lips.
(ortonmc Posted: 12 Mar 2008 10:50)
Unfortunately, Henry had woken earlier than usual, it was four o'clock in the morning, and his neighbors didn't appreciate the serenade.
(britething Posted: 14 Mar 2008 09:53)
Fortunately, once wide awake, the neighbours turned out to be friendly folk, and came over for early-morning coffee and pancakes with maple syrup.
(stygiania Posted: 14 Mar 2008 10:50)
Unfortunately the pancakes were larger than the plate and the syrup dripped off and made a huge mess.
(britething Posted: 14 Mar 2008 16:52)
Fortunately, a mysterious previous poster had excellent mopping skills, and once again managed to get everything clean and tidy ...
(De2164 Posted: 18 Mar 2008 09:35)
Unfortunately, the pancakes did not agree with Henry and his visitors and there was a mad rush for the bathroom with messes along the way.
(britething Posted: 18 Mar 2008 13:30)
Fortunately, more mopping (is this becoming a leitmotiv?) and a little upset tum medication enabled our heroes to face the day with serenity, and they were soon on their way to the outdoor rock festival to be held that very afternoon.
(azkar Posted: 18 Mar 2008 13:38)
Unfortunately, they didn't read the adverisement for this rock festival very closely, and it turned out to be a festival devoted to rocks. (On a side note, I was surprised to see this still going, after returning from a year-long hiatus.)
(Brownfox Posted: 18 Mar 2008 13:45)
Fortunately, as amateur geologists, they found this fascinating.
(Njalsson Posted: 18 Mar 2008 15:33)
Unfortunately there was a rock music concert going on very nearby and the more friable rocks were shattered by the vibrations. (This thread isn't actually "still going". It died on August 4 and was resurrected on December 22.)
(De2164 Posted: 18 Mar 2008 21:20)
Fortunately, nothing here make the people sick.
(Neologist Posted: 19 Mar 2008 06:24)
Unfortunately, nothing that is, except the head splitting din from the concert nearby.
(britething Posted: 19 Mar 2008 06:56)
Fortunately a power outage meant that the rock concert had to proceed with only a few generators, which meant that they substantially reduced the sound level.
(De2164 Posted: 19 Mar 2008 07:35)
Unfortunately, all the other members turned off all power to every thing else to give power to the one guitar player that is now yowling out a mind-flaying solo that made you feel like a foot long nail is being pounded into your skull.
(Neologist Posted: 19 Mar 2008 07:54)
Fortunately, for everyone except the guitar player, someone did pound a foot long nail into his skull, and peace and quiet returned.
(azkar Posted: 19 Mar 2008 08:30)
Unfortunately, the nail-pounder was none other than the protagonist of our story, and there were hundreds of witnesses to this grizzly murder.
(Neologist Posted: 19 Mar 2008 08:50)
Fortunately the "witnesses" were so relieved to be rid of the deafening racket that it transpired they all happened be looking away from the scene of the incident when it happened, and were quite unable to provide any evidence.
(azkar Posted: 19 Mar 2008 08:58)
Unfortunately, the same can not be said for the MTV cameras that were recording the concert.
(Njalsson Posted: 19 Mar 2008 18:16)
Fortunately, the power powering the guitar had been taken from the cameras as well.
(britething Posted: 20 Mar 2008 16:31)
Unfortunately, the CCTV cameras however were powered from an independent supply, (as Big Brother truly was watching), so there was a filmed document to prove the murder had taken place, although the quality of the recording was not that good ; but the FBI officers despatched to investigate thought they could get image enhancement to identify the perpetrator ...
(De2164 Posted: 21 Mar 2008 08:30)
Fortunately, the crowd realizing this also, mobbed the FBI people and destroyed all the evidence as well as the trucks the FBI came in leaving them with nothing but the clothes on their backs.
(Njalsson Posted: 24 Mar 2008 13:03)
Unfortunately, as our protagonist all too human Henry, at the moment? slipped quietly into the back alley he was met by other members of the band who were carrying rocks "borrowed" from the nearby geology fest.
(britething Posted: 25 Mar 2008 09:41)
Fortunately, Abo and Bigfoot stepped out from behind a trailer to avoid any more bloodshed ...
(Neologist Posted: 25 Mar 2008 12:55)
Unfortunately, the illusion lasted only a moment and Henry recognised it as a flashback to his dream, leaving him facing the reality of being in a back alley confronted by musicians bearing rocks.
(ortonmc Posted: 25 Mar 2008 13:00)
Fortunately, since Henry wasn't loaded down with rocks, he was easily able to outrun the musicians.
(britething Posted: 25 Mar 2008 13:47)
Unfortunately for the blood-hungry musicians, bent on revenge, at a nearby crossroads, the traffic was stopped for a red-light, and Henry jumped aboard an open-backed trailer truck, headed-for who knows where ... which moved away rapidly just as the long-haired angry rock wielders reached the main road.
(De2164 Posted: 26 Mar 2008 22:26)
Fortunate for the blood-hungry musicians, the truck was only bound for the truck stop that was a few blocks away from them.
(ortonmc Posted: 26 Mar 2008 23:14)
Unfortunately, the truck crossed a railroad crossing just before a train arrived, so the musicians were stuck on the wrong side of the tracks for a quarter of an hour.
(britething Posted: 27 Mar 2008 09:19)
Fortunately this gave Henry ample time to make good his getaway, and he hitched a ride to Sacramento on a big yellow camping van.
(Quister Posted: 27 Mar 2008 14:22)
Unfortunately the yellow van was searched at the California border which forbids fresh fruit and Henry was arrested since his fruit sack also had 3 lbs of marijuana.
(De2164 Posted: 27 Mar 2008 20:25)
Fortunately Henry got away to freedom after he was able to palm a $100 bill to a guard that  "accidently" left the holding room door unlocked and lost the paperwork.
(ortonmc Posted: 27 Mar 2008 21:26)
Unfortunately this little adventure left Henry with a feeling of uneasiness about California, so he decided he'd have to choose a different destination.
(RGAB Posted: 27 Mar 2008 22:15)
Fortunately, Utah beckoned.
(tenaj Posted: 31 Mar 2008 07:56)
Unfortunately all DPers were so busy joining in (R) retread month, Utah was put on hold.
(Neologist Posted: 31 Mar 2008 10:10)
Fortunately, for his escape, Henry isn't a DPer ... yet.
(RGAB Posted: 31 Mar 2008 10:23)
Unfortunately, Henry hasn't been privy to the persuasive powers of The Carrot ... yet.
(tenaj Posted: 31 Mar 2008 10:49)
Fortunately that can be easily rectified.
(stygiania Posted: 31 Mar 2008 11:49)
Unfortunately, Henry doesn't have access to a computer.
(Njalsson Posted: 31 Mar 2008 12:49)
Fortunately, many regulars in North America still don't have access to their gardens so they are able to take up the slack, leaving Henry to pursue his own goals.
(britething Posted: 31 Mar 2008 16:54)
Unfortunately for Henry, the 50 $ in his pocket aren't going to get him very far, in Utah, so he has to go knocking door-to-door, looking for some work.
(ortonmc Posted: 31 Mar 2008 16:58)
Fortunately, at the very first house where Henry went knocking, the elderly gentleman who lived there was looking for somebody to paint his garage.
(Neologist Posted: 02 Apr 2008 03:02)
Unfortunately the elderly gentleman was a lttle confused and had forgotten he didn't have a garage.
(Njalsson Posted: 02 Apr 2008 09:16)
Fortunately that allowed Henry to complete the job in record time, have a friendly cup of tea with the gentleman and double his net worth all in one afternoon.
(De2164 Posted: 02 Apr 2008 11:04)
Unfortunately, guilty over took Henry for trying to cheat the old gentleman and he returned the money to him, but at least he got a free meal.
(Njalsson Posted: 02 Apr 2008 16:24)
Fortunately, Wilbert, the elderly and somewhat lonely gentleman, was so impressed by Henry's gratuitous display of honesty that he invited him to stay at his place until he got his feet under him again.
(britething Posted: 03 Apr 2008 04:33)
Unfortunately, Wilbert's nephew Percy didn't take kindly to Henry "moving in on" his uncle, and this led to a complicated atmosphere in the house whenever he was visiting ...
(Njalsson Posted: 04 Apr 2008 10:33)
Fortunately, Wilbert had been a manager at the local Buy More store, and able to get Henry hired there, easing the tension with Percy whose main concern was his uncle's money.
(De2164 Posted: 05 Apr 2008 00:52)
Unfortunately, a Buy More store just was not the work Henry longed for and he soon was getting in trouble and is fired by Wilbert; they part as friends but Henry must move on to other places.
(Neologist Posted: 07 Apr 2008 11:04)
Fortunately, Wilbert, whom we know can sometimes be a little confused, had been but was not then the manager, who was so incensed at his authority being usurped that he immediately reinstated Henry, adjusted his duties to be more congenial to him and offered him a small but comfortable grace and favour flat over the store.
(Njalsson Posted: 07 Apr 2008 13:19)
Unfortunately, with his material wants supplied, Henry began to yearn for something more than his rent free apartment the American translation of grace and favour flat?--for purpose, adventure, intrigue, for a sense of where this story was leading him besides away from the clutches of crazed musicians.
(britething Posted: 07 Apr 2008 15:38)
Fortunately for Henry, his day off happened to be a gloriously sunny one, and during a walk in the path, he had the good fortune to meet someone, a significant someone, who made him look at his life from a whole new perspective.
(twp3 Posted: 07 Apr 2008 16:42)
Unfortunately, Henry had poor eyesight and wasn't able to see anything clearly from this new perspective!
(De2164 Posted: 08 Apr 2008 01:25)
Fortunately, this friend was a true kindred spirit type friend and helped Henry understand each thing that was bothering him and that California is the place he ought to be.
(stygiania Posted: 08 Apr 2008 07:33)
Unfortunately, the house next-door to Mr. Drysdale was already occupied and the available houses didn't have cement ponds so Henry was disappointed.

2009

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2010

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2011

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2012

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2013

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2014

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2015

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