User talk:TheEileen/May 2010
May 2010
25 May 2010
Updated list and wiki. Five changes but no posts. No further work on anything.
Nothing much is changed from below. I am so tired but not sleeping well so I don't get rested. I am tired of my work and its drama so ... the cottonwood trees are blowing white fluff everywhere. I'm betting it is always late May early June and yet I would swear it was late this year. Weather chilly with the occasional pretty sunny day. No doubt it will be boiling when I'm on my vacation. Too tired to do much but click games or watch tv. 'night.
18 May 2010
I literally forgot until Wednesday and then was too busy or too tired.
11 May 2010
Udpated list and wiki. Two changes and one posted on wiki. No further work on anything. Not on board, not on foofing, not on Ibsen.
Work is CRAZY busy as detailed below. Nothing much has changed. I spend all day desperately trying to get documents done that are needed, help other people with their documents (Is this what they want Eileen? Is this the right format Eileen?) And with other people we have passive-aggressive people who upon being told all items requested must be in a word or excel document and then asked for say the listing of all software in the system, either call me and tell me on the phone and then want to know why *I* don't type it up or write it down as they dictate it OR they answer in an email and then say the same thing - "I gave it to you, you make it a document". My answer has been, no, you were told what to do, do it I'm busy. If you don't I'll say you couldn't be bothered to do your job. I'm trying to follow the advice given about keeping bosses in the loop, pointing out where people aren't responding, etc. I also identified an issue for myself, I mentioned it earlier for the previous visit. That I wouldn't get "defensive" and I realize what I meant was that I would try to keep my boundaries clear and not try to explain everything as if it were my responsibility. Not act as an apologist for the hospital or other people. Unfortunately, I came up against someone who would NOT accept my statements of "yes, we know, that is a facility issue, I did my job of informing them, they haven't done it" and would lecture me and demand repeatedly "what are YOU doing about it". I'm trying to work my way to know what to say if that happens again. I think I have some of the responses. "I already told you what I did - anything else is outside my scope." "If you need that information, I will ask the facility for it again" and if I get pushed I will simply say "I've given you my answer, this is all I have. If you need something else, you need to tell me what you want and I can let you know if I have the authority to do it. If not, I'll pass it on to who does". I'm going to work on this a little with my therapist tomorrow. She always has good advice for things like this.
Weather kinda cool and then an absolutely gorgeous weekend. I didn't mention it last post but last weekend my "to do" list was "read two books" and "watch three movies" (I had stuff due back at the library). I did a few household chores but generally I just sat in the sunny weather and relaxed. I'm trying to stay calm and doing a so-so job. Yoga fairly regularly and weights regime so far so good.
05 May 2010
Updated list and wiki. One change on list; two changes on wiki-one a posted project. No further work on anything, even though I popped open foofing interfaces (actually I was checking out Casey's really cool tool for mentoring/feedback) As usual, Casey is awesome and rocks!
I was good about my weights work out but less good with yoga. Between that and the weird cold, cold, WINDY weather we've been having, I've not slept well. This has caused my vertigo to come roaring back. Lots of fun - not. So, the stress at work I'm talking about? Outside audit visit for one week in May with a four week run up of work to do to be ready for what they are looking for (which isn't always what helps get the job done, natch. Just what the auditors want). Then four weeks between them and the Inspector General (IG) audit (USians should know what this means - all y'all others? It is the part of the government that watchdogs the other parts of the government. You usually hear about them in relation to money but they do other things - this time this is an audit of the VA's compliance with some IT regulations). We are one of the 20 or so sites visited that will be exemplary of the whole VA)(sigh). So time spent trying to backfill /fix/ get stuff for the people that left and start working on what they said was a problem so that we show willing for the next set and LOTS of stuff to get ready for the next set. And I'm the subject matter expert on the regulations so I'm trying to do all my own document/stuff production while trying to direct everyone else in what they are to provide and I'm getting some great "okay, here it is" with minimal problems and some people needing to be hand-held which is massively time-consuming (explain it to me again, eileen). And then the IG will be here for 14 working days in May, and then I have two weeks of dealing with all their left-over stuff and staring to work on what they found before I go out of town for a week's training again in June, then back with three weeks before the next two week outside audit visit in July, and then in August the group that came in May is back to see if we fixed everything they wanted fixed. That is five months - four visits. With all the requisite reporting, and meeting, and fixing, and arguing that it doesn't need fixing, and more documentation. While I'm trying to do my actual job of RUNNING the program at the same time. Eileen ... hitting ... overload.
Which is why I'm hardly doing anything that isn't mindless when I get home. My brain is fried. And if I dwell on it, as they show, only makes me feel more depressed and negative. So, I'm doing what I can.
And by the way, I just have to say, a- the fact that the board is quiet is not evidence that we are all plotting against the DP membership and the people saying that need to get their paranoia checked. Perhaps it is because four of the five of us have a full-time job and three of the five have a full-time family and like the rest of the volunteers, we are trying to do this in the bits and pieces of time we have left over and that actually means ... not a lot of time to document and update. I KNOW you want information and feedback, but why not presume we are, in fact, doing the best we can and NOT that we are all evil horrible people trying to make your life a living hell? and b - we are all regular people with full-time jobs and that means that yes, in one year, we pretty much figured out how to communicate, "hired" a GM, and had one official meeting. That is because we worked using a consensus and agreement model and not a unilateral "I presume that what I want is universally smart and good and desirable and so will simply start doing it and treat anyone who doesn't agree with me as if they were evil, horrible people who must be stupid." And when you live all around the world, it is hard to get together regularly. So ... damn it ... bite me. There are about four people on the forums right now that if I met them in real life, (and I'm looking at one of them who in fact, I *have* met in real life), if I met 'em, I'd dope slap the hell out of them.
Grant everyone around you some grace and as dear Ian say, treat everyone kindly as we all have our own burdens to bear. Just because you don't see them doesn't mean they aren't there. Get your head out of your ... own head and get some empathy. Gah - *that* increase in attitude on the forums is really making me shake my head and want to do nothing here. It's getting flame-y and no one seems to know how to say to these guys (and it mostly guys), please stop being so paranoid and mean.
And now back to Eileen's Talk