User talk:TheEileen/Jun 2010
June 2010
01 Jun 2010
Updated list and wiki. Several changes and four projects posted. Three of them were "delete" project I hadn't noticed and luckily only one of them was really old. From June of 2009. Way to spot things, Eileen! Of those posted projects one of them was of the OLDEST from our list. From the very first posting by dear Puppernutter. Cool hunh?
Things are a bit better. The main visiting group has left and it turned out okay. The work was intense but the outcomes acceptable. I go on travel next week and then two weeks of vacation to rest. It looks like five whole weeks before the next set of visitors. Then four weeks and visitors. Then four weeks and visitors. Slam city. But I managed to be good about my boundaries and talked to my boss and got some support for my stuff and so that is better.
I am planning nothing big for my vacation, no plans to work on anything so I can actually relax. I have an idea or two in my head so I don't get *bored* but I think it will be lovely. I hope. The weather has been cold and overcast. Very still spring-like and not what I recall of this time of year, but no doubt I'm just remembering wrong, as with the cottonwood. I had my last meeting on the board and I am now off.
It was interesting but I hope being off means I can just enjoy DP for itself now and not feel stressed by it also.
10/10/10: Well, that didn't happen - more DP I mean. I was a total space case my whole vacation. It was awesome and wonderful but I didn't really DO anything but rest, veg, rest, and veg. Hardly read, watched tv, computer of any kind, didn't go anywhere or do anything much, no work around the house in the first two weeks. By the end of the second week, I felt very literally as if I went over a hump and was able to finally relax and calm down. I was having screaming fits around my house (waves at the other bipolar people who probably know exactly what I mean) where to do something as simple as hmmm, iron a shirt took two hours and nearly had me throwing the iron through a window. Major detox from stress time. That last week was when I finally felt like I could enjoy myself and it was needlework and games the whole time. With some computer but I am so very very tired of reading things I have to comprehend and respond to - gah it bothers me so much that so much negativity has accrued due to my job to stuff I used to enjoy at DP and now which trigger the same sense of frustration with me. I want DP to be fun for me and I'm having such a hard time making it so. And I don't think it'll work by MAKING it. It just has to be.
I'm afraid DP may be something I touch occasionally for a while but not daily like I used to and it makes me so very sad, as I really love everyone here and the work, but as soon as I start doing nearly anything on it (read forums where I feel I must respond so either I respond and stress or don't respond and stress, try to proof/foof and get annoyed with my computer or my body's reaction to more typing), I get unhappy and stressed. It's a lose-lose situation.
And now back to Eileen's Talk