User talk:TheEileen/Jun 2008
June 2008
06-02-2008
Updated list and wiki with no changes to main list but three posted. Huzzah. I managed some mentoring and have some more to do.
Vancouver BC was weird ... for me. I went with John, and it was about as I thought that part of it would be. As written before, I'm trying to be more verbal and specific. This is not something John is comfy with. He certainly doesn't tend to do it. I really noticed this tendency that is very much like my mother in the passivity of "I will not listen to you except at certain points, but I won't tell you WHEN those points are. You have to guess and know when to repeat important things." Such as, suddenly out of nowhere that I could see, he decided that I had to tell him where to drive. He has navigation in the car - but he was driving past the turns. Then he'd get semi-pissy that I hadn't told him to turn. I pointed out that he had nav (it speaks to him) and asked "weren't you listening?" "No." pause while I just look at him quizzically. Then he said, "I can't pay attention to that thing" in this "you should know that" tone of voice. "How do you get around when I'm not in the car?" I asked him. He didn't answer but I realized that unless I wanted to deal with him getting more and more pissed off/frustrated, I'd have to do it, I started repeating what the car was saying.
One of my pre-realizations / reminders was that I am not responsible for his enjoyment/happiness. He is. So, it wasn't my job to coax out of him where he wanted to go or what he wanted to do or GUESS either of them. I just said what I wanted to do and when I planned to do it and asked if he wanted to come with or not. When this sort of planning of the day would be going on, he'd be looking at me, nodding, agreeing or making alternate suggestions. Then an indefinite time later, he'd ask "so what are we doing tomorrow?" We'd spent 20 minutes deciding it, but it hadn't apparently registered.
Or "Okay, so call me at 8am to meet for breakfast" he'd say. "8am tomorrow for breakfast" I'd reply. "Yes," John. "You are sure 8am isn't too early?" Me. "No, it's fine." John. The next day, 8am I'd call him. He's groggy and "why are you calling me?" "for breakfast, you said call you." "Ugh, this is too early. Go by yourself." Click. And I would have been more than happy to have slept in until 9 or 10 myself. Variation of this went on all week. That was the most annoying/frustrating part. I am sure I'm at fault in some fashion for some of our communication difficulties, and I mean that sincerely, but I am not psychic and I refuse to have to guess. If he has issues, he has to say something. Especially when I ask him point blank and he denies any issues.
I did prep for traveling and being in Vancouver and that went okay, but I swear I do not remember the town being quite this ... well ... dirty and icky. I remember a slightly more upscale, Seattle/San Fran vibe. But this time nearly everywhere we went was much more low scale and scummy that I recall it being. Dirty, lots of smoking and drinking and such on the streets everywhere, no place was free of it. The construction everywhere really didn't help at all either.
And the restaurants! While the food was really good in only two of them and adequate at best in the others, the service was uniformly horrible. Only one place had waitstaff that had a clue about what they were doing. I've rarely been as completely ignored, rushed, and badly plated food and presentation and all of it. In several places, people were seated randomly (as far as I could tell) and yet the waiters got us in order, which meant that a waiter could have six tables scattered all over the place in a large diverse area, which made being able to pay attention to who needed anything incredibly difficult. I've rarely seen that - usually waitstaff are assigned to a specific geographic area in the restaurant - this helps them and the diners. I had cold food plated on dishes straight out of the dishwasher so that the chill went off the salad and such and the greens started wilting and the plate was till HOT! There was a BIG hair in my main entree and the waiter's first reaction was to stare at it, ask "where did that come from", and then finally remove it. After 10 minutes of the waiter not returning, I realized that he was going to bring me the SAME ORDER. You never do this - you always ask the customer, "Did you want the same entree or something different" since about 70% of them will NOT want to eat that same dish. When he finally brought, yes, the same order, he plops it down and starts to walk away. I had to remind him to change the flatware and bring me another drink. "Oh right," he cried, "yes, of course, I'm sorry I forgot." Then at the dessert, he tells me, "I am treating you to your coffee to say sorry. That's all I can do I'm afraid - all I have the authority to do." It really wasn't worth it to ask because What the H***? The waiter? The waiter had to comp me the kitchen's mistake? Where the heck was the manager? S/he had never once come to the table to apologize or explain. No, instead, the waiter comp'd me the $2.00 coffee. It wasn't even worth it to ask for the manager.
Sylvia's, by the way, avoid Sylvia's by English Beach if at all possible. My impression is that although it presents itself as a very nice, very upscale (and the prices certainly were), very posh restaurant on the beach in the $$$ district - in reality, the majority of their customers are tourists so they don't really care if they treat you well, it's not like you'll be coming back a lot. Goodness knows I certainly won't be going back.
The ChopHouse was the one good place. Great food, good service, good presentation.
06-06-2008
Updated list and wiki with minimal movement. And one PM request - huzzah for that. Thanks Mike!
Have managed mentoring for four days this week. Suddenly feel like trying lots of other things like CP and such, but should probably NOT overextend myself. So will hang with just foofing and mentoring for now.
06-14-2008
Updated list and wiki. Two posted. Cool. RL still a bit in flux. I really need to learn to say no to people. No buts. Just learn to say "no, thanks. the timing isn't right." Sigh.
06-18-2008
Updated list and wiki. One posted - no other movement. I power-washed the sidewalk to get rid of the moss and when cleaning up, slipped out of my shoe coming down the steps. I wrenched my right ankle very much. Nice neighbor gentlemen carried me inside and put my equipment up and when we all saw my ankle just swell right up - put ice on it and called my friend. Very kind. My friend came over [Update, I hadn't the energy to mention that my friend took over one and a half hours to come over --it is normally 25 minutes from his house to mine-- because he thought I was hurt so badly that he would need to stay with me. So he a) took a shower, b) packed a BIG suitcase, c) did several chores at his house and errands so he'd be ready to stay with me. In the meantime, after putting the ice on and off my foot three times (every 20 minutes so now an hour), I couldn't stand lying on my couch in my SOAKING WET CLOTHES {power washing!} and on my hands and knees crawled up my stairs to change. Wrapped my ankle. Came back downstairs on my bum. Carefully got back and hopped into my kitchen to make myself dinner and get new ice from fridge. Was just finishing up when he rang the bell. I'd actually assumed he wasn't coming over by then and was too tired to bother to call. Just figured I'd crawl back upstairs after dinner and sleep. Once I understood what he'd done and why it took so long, I asked him, "John? If you thought I was so badly damaged that you'd need to stay with me for days, wouldn't I be here all by myself with no help and badly damaged for the hour and 35 minutes it took you to get here?" He looked at me sort of blankly and then said slowly, "Oh, I thought I'd only take about 20 minutes to get ready. {more normal tone now} You know me, I always think things take 20 minutes." And that was that. No more explanation, no apology, just "well, you know me" which is exactly why I had decided not to bother to call him and ask if he was coming or not. He still doesn't understand why what he did was not smart and not kind and could have meant I ended up more badly hurt (such as if I had a broken leg or something - which is apparently what he thought was wrong with me - and I'd had to go pee or whatever and tried by myself. :shakes head in disbelief:) Anyway, now that he came over, I asked him to take me to the ER (ah the joys of being a vet, no charge and no worries so I went to have xrays done)(thank you for your tax dollars, I do appreciate them). No breaks or fractures, just a nice twist. Sitting on the couch with my foot up for three days with ice on it (20 on, 20 off for two full days). If I could just stay home and read or watch tv, I'd be fine and could sit for hours. Instead, I felt trapped on that couch, nothing appealed, and I just wanted to get up and move, whereupon my foot hurt. I went back to work today for a half day and everything seems fine. I'm gonna try a nearly full day tomorrow and probably drive myself in and back on Friday. As long as I'm careful and move slowly, I should be good.
06-20-2008
Updating all my posted listings. I've missed a few I see AND a few were in the wrong spot. I shouldn't be sitting here so long, since I can't put my foot up, but I'm so very bored of the downstairs. I'm getting a nice neck and shoulder massage tomorrow - huzzah! The foot throbs and sparks at me and I can't sit the way I like which is cross-legged. Sigh.
And now back to Index to 2008