User talk:TheEileen/Jan 2011
January 2011
18 Jan 2011
Updated list and wiki and only one project moved and one posted. I have been keeping up with the forums I want, a few posts here and there, a few pages of Am Miss or Spalding's or Mittel. I downloaded the text of Ibsen Vol II, to work on. I should, I suppose, figure out the instructions for Vol III and release it but F2 is already overloaded. I don't like F1->F1 when I discovered that you have to do some merge thing at the end? It sounded complicated and not user friendly. We shall see.
Tired and the same anemia issues being difficult. Less so, but still there. I got a small case of food poisoning this weekend compounded by staying in too much, and getting too hot. Why that makes it worse, I do not know but it does. I have to get past this disinclination to move. My foot bothered me, but I walked anyway. And today, I feel generally better and my foot isn't aching as much. I need to not overdo but not underdo also. Tricky.
My "five" year old co-worker was in full blow mode today. Everything was said in a "wittel" girl's voice, including lisp and with the language of a twee 10 year old. I was about as terse as I've ever been since it seems the only way to make her stop. I alternate between feeling as if I am being unkind because I'm not "polite" and realizing that being "polite" in this instance means enabling her and allowing her to impose on me. Because she wants to spend the day telling me her woes so I pour sympathy upon her. I have next to no sympathy for her. After being around her nonstop and listening to all she is constantly saying to me, to herself, to her mother, to her friends, I see a few things. No self-awareness, very self-centered, very cliched youngest child in family behavior, she's rude or patronizing to her mother and her best friend, overly dramatic and all about how very sensitive she is. A friend of hers (and the majority of her friends are on-line or far away, nearly everyone close by ends up cutting her off after a while to save themselves), emails her that she's just been diagnosed with cancer, and I am treated to 20 minutes of her crying about how much this hurts HER (not her friend) and how she feels this sort of thing more than other people and how hard it is for her that her friend is sick and basically a song of Me-me-me-me-me. She mentions her friend about three times total in 20 minutes, and I'm not exaggerating and how how I wish I was.
So, she asks questions, and I'm getting better at simply answering them and not taking any more on (such as the underlying command of "do this for me, it is too hard for me to think"). If she doesn't get my answer, or claims not to usually because, literally, "I can't think right now, I'm sad/upset/headachy/dizzy/thinking about lunch/thinking about my mom/more interested in looking out the window", then my answer for the last few weeks has been "Oh, well. That's all I have got. Guess you are on your own." Then I stop. And in a recent bout of her finally taking up a project six weeks overdue and asking me how to do it, I responded that I had figured it out back six months ago when I had it on rotation and didn't remember any more (which I didn't) and told her that this other guy helped me figure it out. Six months ago, I would have spent half my day re-figuring it out and then trying to make her get it. Instead, I got to listen to her go to this guy and talk and talk and talk and talk and clearly not listen to him instructing her ("Oh, I'm so dumb, Oh, you mean go left, Oh, I'm stupid you mean double-click." -- I'd hear her saying right after she had been burbling away for five minutes). And at the end of a 90 minute phone call, she gets off and then calls out to me "boy he can talk, I couldn't get a word in edgewise. He is so chatty". Roll eyes.
Some of the people I talk to about this in RL try to give me advice like "say this" or "I'd say that" and I tell them that "You are trying to fix her - you think if you point out her inconsistency or illogic or wrong statements, she'll learn. She does not. This was my error." She just gets upset that you are mean or argues illogically. I'm not wasting my time on that. I will vent every once in a while, but I'm not going to waste any time, effort, or energy on explaining to this woman that eating pho noodles, shrimp chow mein, a waffle, a slice of banana cream pie, some eggs and bacon, half a po' boy, or some popcorn is not, in fact, a liquid diet. Because she has had major digestive issues for over a month, constantly claims to be on liquids only, then eats something like what I just mentioned, vomits it up, and then tells the next person she talks to that "she hasn't had anything but liquid for days, and I'm still vomiting". Roll Eyes again. I did tell her she wasn't on liquids*, and her response? 'But I'm hungry.' "So what," I say, "You have to be hungry to get better. But you can't say you are on liquids when eating solid foods". 'But I've go to eat.' "Still not a liquid diet - that's misleading." 'I had broth yesterday' "and then ate a roast beef sandwich" "But I was hungry" - and at that repetition, I just gave up because ... It Is Not My Problem. It's annoying as hell, but not my problem. I just get the joy of listening to her say it to everyone else.
- I was telling her that she should not tell the doctor she was on a liquid diet because then he wouldn't diagnose her properly and this convo occurred. It was like listening to my mom tell the doctor that she didn't smoke (she did - a half a pack a day) or drink (she did - half a bottle a day) and then cite him saying that alcohol and cigarettes were not causing her problems. When challenged, the answers were basically in line with above. I couldn't fix my mom, and I'm not gonna fix this woman. And the more I say it and type it, the more I re-inforce for myself. Thanks for giving me the space to get it out.
13 Jan 2011
Updated list and wiki with only one movement in projects and one posted. I've been doing some forums, a DP-feedback, and a few posts here and there.
Very tired, anemia kicking up like a madwoman. I think this is related to menopause so I'm exhausted. We had some snow yesterday, enough to be trouble for me, so my friend with whom I had dinner and a night at the museum kindly drove me home and then picked me up this morning and took me in to work. We had an absolutely lovely dinner at Boka and then saw the Picasso exhibit in its last week. Then wandered the rest of the galleries. Fun. Now I just want to sleep but need to be upright a bit longer to digest my dinner, or it will be heartburn for me.
The foot appears much better even though I shut a car door on it. In the same spot as the healing fracture. (Eileen admits she is a klutz.) I am back to getting twinges which had mostly faded. Still, lovely to know I am well on the road to recovery, hardly have to wrap my foot at all now, and don't have any more follow-up visits with the podiatrist unless I do some more damage to myself. Which my podiatrist told me not to do. Grin. Thank goodness. Maybe I'll listen!
06 Jan 2011
Updated list and a few moved from F2 to PPing but no posted project, alas. Still tired but after two nights in a row of 10 hours of sleep (oh bliss), I feel caught up. Tired but not sleepy, so I bet I just need to be more active now to not be all schlumpy. I've been on the forum regularly but not overdoing them. I've had a DP-feedback or two. And I've done some F1 or F2 pages. I'm happy with my activity at DP.
Weather cold but clear then rainy then clear again. The weekend of the new year was lovely, just lovely. We did have the expected snow in the beginning of the week but enough sunshine to melt it off the hills where they lives. It was really odd as my little road was all icy for days after everyone else's was clear.
Work still annoying with the people I deal with. The work itself isn't that bad. I'm still in a very self-motivating section right now. My main thing to remember right now, as I am in this "clear space" is to not do what I normally do and start adding jobs to my list. When I do that and then things go back to stressed or lots of deadlines from national, the jobs I added still need doing and they add to the massive overwork. Instead, I'm concentrating on cleaning up/clearing out some of the older jobs that fell into the "important" but "not urgent" category. Because each one takes so much time and effort (as mentioned previously), I tend to want to drift into adding an easier job that requires less "brainworking". Grin. But I'm being good. I was actually quite pleased to re-do a whole section of my documentation today FINALLY putting in the things I knew needed to be in there but which have just been sitting for the "day I have time". It's one of those, "figure out what is required, ensure we are actually doing it, figure out how to say it correctly because we meet the required outcome but not in the suggested process, get confirmation from the people actually doing the process that we are still doing it the way I have it described, put it in the document, get the approval for the change, upload it into the tracking webpage, AND then create a procedure to easily keep the document updated, and then create a procedure to regularly audit and track the process". And for one item, that could maybe take half a day. For another item, as with this week, it took six days. You can see why "I'd like to just do some filing please" may occasionally be more appealing.
The RockBand and D&D weekend was fun but not what I expected. I had thought this was a "get through this massive campaign so we all level up and then spend half a day creating new characters to play at lower levels (for the more intermittent of the group, we need lower level characters to as to not outpace them in the game), and then play RB or watch movies in the spare time. And oh yeah, it's on the new year's eve/day but that's just because we all have it off". Only to be told not to even come over on 12/31 until about 4pm because two people were working, everyone expected us to all stay up until midnight, and I have not done that in YEARS, and we only did about 1/3 of the campaign and apparently no one expected to get through it. And the making of new characters was something we were supposed to have done on our own the previous week.
I really do not always connect well with this group in communication. Everyone speaks in half-sentences and often makes plans when I'm out of the room (not on purpose, sometimes I'm in the group in the room making plans when someone else "steps out"), but no one explains what the plans are when I come back. Because I'm so fast at understanding a lot, they forget I am not *actually* psychic and do need some things explained. It is sometimes amusing and sometimes annoying when I get the "okay, I'll explain it to you S-L-O-W-L-Y Eileen - goodness you are dumb" tone of voice from one of them telling me something I didn't get the first time or hear clearly. And only I get this. No one else gets this attitude. Like I said, sometimes amusing, sometimes annoying.
05 Jan 2011
Updated the list but went to bed right after as so tired.
And now back to Eileen's Talk