User talk:TheEileen/Dec 2010
December 2010
28 Dec 2010
Updated list and wiki. Minimal movement and no new projects posted. Alas. I did a little on Mittel and Am Miss but not much else. I did keep up with some basic forums and have a DP-Feedback to do after this post.
Weather turning colder and we expect snow this week/weekend. Which since it is my big hang out with friends time for the holidays (two days straight of rock band and D&D) could be interesting. They live on an EXTREMELY hilly section of the city and last time it got bad, I could not drive there nor could even buses get through.
But we'll see. Health pretty good. Foot continuing to heal. More consistent with weights although I really pulled the rotator cuff/muscle in my left arm last week and since the gym was closed on Friday (go figure), my usual day I failed to do an alternate since my arm still hurt a little. Better this week and so I'm managing walks, even in the cold rain, which actually feels nice to get up and out in. I forgot to wear my good walking shoes today though. Also, my foot was a bit achy from my trying too hard to go back to "normal" too fast. I can rotate my foot and bend it such that it used to pull the tendon attached to the fractured bone and hurt/re-stress the fracture. Now it doesn't. But that does not mean, Eileen said sternly to herself, that you can start to try to sit cross-legged again (which I guiltily admit to trying) and that was just one thing too many/much. So, no walkies today, except for the normal around the hospital and even just that made my foot ache a bit by the end of the day. But I'll be better tomorrow and take my ace bandage to wear for the walk.
Work is still not stress free, but then we'd call it play if it was, right? Grin. It's bearable, my only issue now is ME. I can manage the letting go, but I find I still just worry over this co-worker's habits and actions like a dog with a bone. I am having the hardest time just letting go. I will be non-committal at the time and react to her well, but then find myself telling the incident to 3 or 4 people (which is just gossip really and doesn't make me look any better than her to be "tattling" on her). I think I realized today that I'm doing that for the emotional support (basically). If I tell it and the listener has the same emotional reaction I did and gets upset on my behalf, I feel vindicated. If I get a reaction that is not in line with mine, then it checks me on my reaction and I can see if I over-reacted or mis-interpreted. Mind you, so far, only Christopher has ever really called me on doing this and his was the really good input of "shrug - yeah, some people are just five year olds - shrug" which is the attitude I so want to cultivate and can only manage while IN the moment with her. Later, I just marvel and find myself telling and re-telling even by just chewing over it in the car or while making dinner. WHY oh WHY am I letting this person consume so much of my emotion and brain? THAT is what I want to let go of. Yes, I do not like her. Yes, I think she is selfish and self-centered. Yes, I think she is deliberately stupid. Yes, I think she acts like a five year old. Yes, it annoys me that our boss lets her get away with it all. Why do I have to fret about it? I can't change it. I can't change her. I seem to get about half way to coping but not all the way. I am going to continue to work on getting all the way to just letting her not matter to my existence at all. This is what I strive for. Okay, so when I find myself doing this bad habit, I will ... I will ... I will say "what if Person A did this? How would I react?" (for a value of Person A being someone react to now the way I want to react to this person). Yes, I have to keep coming back to that. If ... oooh, I'm having a mini-epiphany. I just thought of some of the people I could use for Person A in this scenario and one person evoked a shrug and another I immediately got annoyed. The first person is someone I interact with at work and I am indifferent to them. The other is also from work but I do not like this person. He has been unhelpful and irritating in other ways before, and I immediately got as annoyed thinking about him doing some of the stuff as I did when this woman did it. So, it DOES have to do with the fact that I do not like her. She's irritating and makes more work for me, just like this other guy. Indifferent will be hard when I feel put-upon by these people.
Okay, now how to figure out that best way for me to NOT have them put upon me? Stayed tuned for the "exciting fun" of me figuring that out. :grin:
22 Dec 2010
Updated list but not wiki. No new projects posted and only two others moved so I'll wait until next week. After all, gotta get ready for Christmas!
Which is really nothing, I celebrate at friends' homes and hang out with them so nothing much at the house. Weather rainy and cold but not really cold - no snow.
15 Dec 2010
Updated the list and the wiki. Lots of stuff moved and six projects!! posted. Awesome. I've done some TEI stuff, back to reading and answering some forums. Done some DP-Feedback. Not feeling overwhelmed - yay!
Weather weird and overly rainy and mudslides and floods and oh my. "Pineapple Express" got stuck over us. No snow but over 8 inches of rain. Insane. My health is generally good (with flashes of tendinitis). I saw the OT yesterday and she couldn't find a brace that could help the tendinitis without hurting the carpal tunnel and vice versa. She gave me exercises and stretches and already I can feel/see a difference. My foot seems to have passed some milestone, and I'm going a whole day without wrapping (and then wrapping for half a day the next day). It sometimes aches but not the same. I think it is healing. I'm happy with that.
Work still problematic with the people. I've got a handle (at the moment) on the work I'm doing and trying to stay motivated. Friends are good. The D&D group ... hmmm ... I had some interpersonal stuff going on there and had to think about it a lot since I tend to over-react to what I perceive as negative stuff. After working my way through some of it internally, I brought it to my therapist, and she gave me some good advice and some tools. Which I put into play the next night, and I'm happy to say that my suspicion of reading more into what was going on seems true. And her communication tools helped me enjoy myself more and not feel shut down and marginalized.
07 Dec 2010
Updated list and some of the wiki. I put the new stuff on and moved the active stuff to the appropriate location. I've not checked for updated project status or any new posted projects yet. Sudden dinner invite with friends means I need to quickly get ready and so not much time.
Weather better, mood unsettled, work the same, car not currently broken down. :grin:
01 Dec 2010
Okay, weird. I must have messed up because I did post a talk on 01 Dec. Basically it was that I had updated the list but not the wiki and would do so. Was happy to get all the lovely wishes on my DP birthday. Finding my joy in foofing and such again here - yay. Weather stinkie because between 17 Nov and 01 Dec huge snow/ice storm here and lots involved in that. I'll try to recreate when I've time.
Eileen re-creating much later: By now (early Feb) nearly every other part of the country has had about three times as much snow as the state of Washington, but for us, that first snow storm was a doozy. We had enough coming down that by mid-day, the notice came through that people could leave early to make it home in time. My office-mate left at 1pm and I figured to go about an hour early which I thought would be plenty of time. But the more I worked and glanced out the window, the more I thought "okay, people are crazy out there" so I left instead 90 minutes early. I should have left right after my office-mate. What is normally a 35 minute drive home took 2 and a half hours. And I was one of the lucky ones. It took me an hour to get 1.5 miles away from my house - at the bottom of the hill. It took 1 hour and 45 minutes to get the 1.5 miles from the bottom of the hill to my house at the top. And by then the sun was going down, and I could see the ice forming on the street. The issue was not the snow, it was the ice. The weather was in the 20's (F) and so everything just froze instantly making the streets unsafe. The smart people drove very slowly (which made everything take forever). The crazy people with their "I've got four wheel drive" mentality, tried to drive like normal and were causing accidents. I am happy I got new tires last year because I saw car after car get stuck on the ice and spin and spin. My lovely little darling car never did that. I just gave her little touch of the gas pedal, nice and easy and slow, and she caught every time and went up that hill like a trouper. But over and over and over, we'd all come to a dead stop for 5-10 minutes before being able to move again. On a hill. In an ice storm. But I made it home safely. And did not go to work the next day as I had no intention of going DOWN that hill in the ice. One of my co-workers left work at 2pm and didn't get home until 3AM (13 hours later). Stuck in the car. Our highway patrol shut down the highway and off ramps with cars stuck there and no way to get off. Due to the hilly nature of our city, most off ramps (or on ramps) are like little bridges, so they were just nothing but ice. But it's no fun being stuck on the highway, with no heat or food or water (except the icy stuff coming out of the sky). I am so thankful that didn't happen to me!
And now back to Eileen's Talk