User talk:TheEileen/Aug 2009
August 2009
05 Aug 2009
Updated list and wiki one day later than I wanted to. I'm trying to make Tuesdays my "list day". However, yesterday was employee appreciation picnic, and I was serving the night shift. My gosh I am/was exhausted at the end of yesterday (and still pretty tuckered today). Anyway, two projects moved to post-processing and two projects were posted. Excellent work in one week!
Weather slightly less hot (it got up to 102 F last week). Cooler, overcast, I'm happier with this weather. Not so happy with this weird eye thing going on. Problems last week, problems this week but I think I figured out that a main part was that they resurfaced the streets of my complex AND the parking lots of several nearby stores. I believe something about that off-gassing of that tar or whatever was causing me big problems. As the weather cools, the tar cools, less gunk in the air, less eye problems for eileen. Otherwise, mostly good. Work crazy busy still always. Trying to maintain my calm and balance and not take responsibility for more than is mine. My therapist and I work on my boundaries a lot. This IS my responsibility; alllll of this other stuff is NOT. So far, so good. :smile:
12 Aug 2009
Updated list and wiki today. I meant for yesterday but due to car trouble (see next paragraph), I got home too late. I have done some foofing, some board work, and even looked at Ibsen. I'm keeping up so far.
Okay, long hard week, and it's only Wednesday. Long story short, car trouble. Car broke down almost literally on the way to the garage to be checked for "that weird noise I hear". Radiator lost coolant, fingers crossed engine not damaged. I have a shiny, new nissan radiator in my nissan car. I have much less $$$ in my pocket. If I damaged the engine, no $$ in my pocket for years to come. I'm exhausted and tired. The weather has gone back to overcast and cool which seems to make us all very very sleepy. Eye issue subsided in direct proportion to weather. hot and sunny gone? eye better. I'm doing my exercises. I'm not doing my yoga as much (it seems to exacerbate my shoulder and neck and sometimes even my arm/wrist). So I'm trying to just meditate instead - do the deep breathing - to stay stable. So far, so good, I believe. Off to bed now, yawwwn.
18 Aug 2009
Updated list and wiki today. One movement to Available, one movement to Post-Processing, one movement to Posted, and I'm done in under 30 minutes. Yes, if I keep up with this regularly, I don't feel as overwhelmed. I have managed to F2 foof nearly every other day for a week. At the moment, that is my one other goal with DP.
I have finally realized that I am one of my downward phase cycles of bipolar. It's so slight (in comparison to the wild rollercoaster ride of yesteryear and all that drama and angst and such) that it has taken me a while to recognize it. This is why I am having so much trouble keeping up. I managed to very gradually overcommit myself while in my up phase but not to the extent I used to. Just enough that when I am now down, it is all just a LITTLE too much to do. It has been so hard not to come home and just slump. Either in front of a computer game (all the time telling myself I *should* be foofing) or the tv or a book. And even then, I can't concentrate or watch/read for long. But I can't seem to make myself do the simple stuff like wash the dishes, tidy up the room, hang up my clothes, take a walk for heaven's sake if you can't do anything else. Nope. Just a big old batch of blah. But I see it now, and starting these little steps of re-making a regular routine for myself, they seem to be helping. I'm not there yet, but I'm getting better (I hope) (mind you, the dishes are still unwashed, and the paperwork I discussed back in Mar is still on the dining room table, but LITTLE STEPS - those can wait, nothing there is urgent). I did my exercises today (getting back to regularly doing those has been a chore, but I'm managing.
Car, I can't tell if my current problems with the car are my hesitation or its. I'm so nervous of it now. I'm not losing any more fluid (so far), and I don't seem to have damaged the engine, but I'm watching my little baby like a hawk. I want to finally switch to electric or hybrid or flexfuel, and I don't see a lot of choices now that I can afford, so I'm hoping I'll manage to get this one to last for at least two more years. Whew - tired, let's see if I can get a bit of board business done and then off to bed!
25 Aug 2009
Crazy busy week - knowing I would not be home any night this week, I did the list update at work at lunch. It is a great pity that so much of my work has come to resemble DP and vice versa.
And now back to Eileen's Talk