.dt Adventures of the Teenie Weenies, by Wm. Donahey—A Project Gutenberg eBook
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ADVENTURES||of the||TEENIE WEENIES
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By
WM. DONAHEY
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[‡Illustration: This Book Belongs to...]
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[‡Illustration: Frontispiece]
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ADVENTURES
of the
TEENIE WEENIES
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BY
WILLIAM DONAHEY
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[‡Illustration: Decoration]
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Illustrated by
THE AUTHOR
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The Reilly & Lee Co.
Chicago
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Copyright, 1920
By
The Reilly & Lee Co.
All Rights Reserved
Made in U.S.A.
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I could easily sing praises to the tune
of ten thousand words in my dedication
of this book, but it is quite customary
to make it crisp and neat, so I will
briefly state that
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This book is dedicated
to
MARY DICKERSON DONAHEY
My literary rival and better
three-fourths.
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THE TEENIE WEENIES
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Who they are and where they live.
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The Teenie Weenies are a very tiny little people. The
Teenie Weenie children are about half an inch in height
and the older Teenie Weenies are from two and a half to
three inches tall. Paddy Pinn is the tallest one and he
really is a Teenie Weenie giant, for he stands four inches
in his stocking feet.
The little folks are so small that a lead pencil is to
them a great log and a clothes pin will keep the tiny fire
place burning for some time. A large tea cup would
almost hold the entire family and they could go swimming
all at once in a wash basin.
A potato will keep the Teenie Weenies supplied for
several months, while one grain of rice will make one of
the little people a square meal. Two baked lima beans
will make a meal for the whole family and a thimbleful
of butter will last a week.
The Teenie Weenies are so small that big people
would hardly notice them and the little folks have to be
careful to keep out of their way.
The Teenie Weenies live in an old shoe. They have
built on a kitchen and a roof covers the top of the shoe.
An old hat is used by the little people for a school house
and quarters for the army. On top of the hat is a tiny
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bell which is used for a school bell and also as a fire
alarm. On the second floor of the hat the army keeps its
uniforms and guns and here the little soldiers drill one
night every week.
The Teenie Weenies have many tiny tools and they
store all these useful things in an old tin can. There is a
work bench in the can and here the men make things
and mend the furniture. The shoe house in which most
of the Teenie Weenies live is quite crowded, so one corner
of the tool house has been made into a comfortable
home for Paddy Pinn and Gogo.
An old tea pot has been made into a laundry and
here the Chinaman and Zip, the Teenie Weenie wild man,
live and do the family washing each week. The little
folks have made a cigar box into a wonderful hospital
and there the Doctor lives.
Mr. and Mrs. Lover have their own home and live,
with their two children, who are twins, in a baby shoe
which has been made into a beautiful bungalow.
All of these tiny buildings are close to each other
under a certain rose bush and there the little folks live
happily together.
The Teenie Weenies ask that the place where they
live shall not be told, as they are afraid curious folks
might come around to see them. “Not that we wouldn’t
like to have big people visit us,” they say, “but, you see,
being so little we might get tramped on and that would
be quite the end of us.”
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[‡Illustration: Every Type of Teenie Weenie]
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.h2
INTRODUCING THE TEENIE WEENIES
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The General is the head of the Teenie Weenie family.
He is very kind and wise and all the little folks trust
and love him.
The Doctor looks after the health of the Teenie
Weenies, and he is often called to help sick birds, mice
and squirrels, for his skill as a doctor is known for quite
a distance about the rose bush. He has an office in the
Teenie Weenie hospital, and there he is able to treat the
sick Teenie Weenies in the best possible way.
The Teenie Weenie Cook is boss of the kitchen and he
cooks the most wonderful food that any Teenie Weenie
ever tasted. His stove is made out of an old tin tobacco
can. The oven is so big that a whole stuffed prune can
be baked in it.
Gogo, the little colored Teenie Weenie, is the assistant
cook and he can get up almost as good a meal
as the Cook. The General says that no one can bake
a lima bean as well as Gogo.
The Dunce is a foolish fellow, who is always doing
funny things. He is always hungry and the Cook says
that he can eat a thimbleful of pudding and then get
inside the thimble. All the Teenie Weenies love the
Dunce, for he is a kind hearted little chap.
The Old Soldier has only one leg but he is a good
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carpenter and he can make beautiful furniture out of a
few matches. He is also a good tailor and he knows how
to mend shoes wonderfully.
The Lady of Fashion is the most beautiful Teenie
Weenie lady. She dresses in the very latest style and
makes many things with her tiny needle. She is house
keeper at the shoe house and often helps the Doctor,
for she is a good nurse.
The Policeman is a fat little fellow whose duty it is
to walk about and look after the Teenie Weenie children.
He settles disputes among the Teenie Weenies
and chases away bugs that get too near to the Teenie
Weenie houses.
Grandpa is the very oldest Teenie Weenie. He is
crippled up with rheumatism and spends most of his time
sitting in front of the Teenie Weenie fireplace.
The Chinaman looks after the Teenie Weenie washing.
He lives in an old tea pot, which has been made
into a fine laundry. The spout of the tea pot makes a
good chimney, for the Chinaman must have a fire most
of the time, as he needs hot water to wash the clothes
and also a place to heat his tiny irons.
Zip is the Teenie Weenie wild man. He came from
a tribe of tiny wild men to live with the Teenie Weenies.
He rooms with the Chinaman and helps with the
washing.
The Cowboy is a great mouse-back rider; in fact he
can ride most anything. He once rode a bucking grass
hopper but he said it was pretty hard work. He can
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throw the lasso with wonderful skill and he is a good
hunter.
The Indian is a silent little fellow. He spends much
of his time in the woods and he can follow the trail of a
caterpillar in the wildest jungle of tall grass.
The Scotchman is quite a musical Teenie Weenie.
He plays the bagpipes and dances many fancy steps.
The Sailor is a great swimmer and knows all about
boats.
The Turk is very strong. He can lift a thimble full of
water above his head and he can carry a lead pencil on
his shoulder. He knows a great deal about machinery,
too.
Rufus Rhyme is the Teenie Weenie poet, who writes
verse and songs for the rest of the Teenie Weenies to
sing.
Paddy Pinn is the tallest Teenie Weenie and he is a
very jolly and wise man.
The Clown is a happy-go-lucky fellow, who can
walk on his hands and tumble as well as an acrobat. He
loves to play jokes and the Dunce is his great chum.
Tessie Bone is the newest Teenie Weenie. She joined
the Teenie Weenie family not long ago and all the little
people are very fond of her, in spite of the fact that she
is quite a tomboy.
There are several Teenie Weenie women and children
and all these little people live very contentedly in
their tiny houses under the rose bush.
All the Teenie Weenies must do their share of the
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work. If you don’t work you can’t eat, is their motto and
the work is usually done, for all the little folks have good
appetites.
Every day some Teenie Weenie has to help the Cook
and Gogo wash up the dishes and the next day he has to
help the Lady of Fashion make the beds and sweep up
the house, while on another day he must help cut wood
for the stoves and the fireplaces.
With all the Teenie Weenies helping it does not take
a great while to do the work, so the little people have
most of the day to spend as they like.
The Teenie Weenies are always ready to help a friend
in need and many times they have helped the squirrels,
the birds, the rabbits and the mice, who live near the rose
bush.
Every summer the little people plant a garden and
raise many vegetables which they store away in a great
cellar under a tiny hill near the shoe house.
Each fall the Cook makes delicious jelly and apple
butter and puts up many cans of fruit and vegetables for
use during the long winter. The little people smoke
many fish and frog hams too.
Four potatoes will keep the Teenie Weenie family
supplied all winter and when the Cook wants some potatoes
for a meal he goes into the cellar and cuts off a
piece. He then covers the place on the potato where he
has cut out the piece with hot paraffine and in this manner
he keeps the potato in good shape until it is used up.
Apples, carrots, and beets are kept in the same way,
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so you see the Teenie Weenies have plenty to eat during
the winter.
In the summer they live on fresh fruit and vegetables
from their garden, while once a week they buy a fresh
minnow from a friendly King Fisher for a fish dinner.
Occasionally they buy an egg from an old hen, which
keeps them supplied with food for a long time, but the
Teenie Weenies don’t have eggs often, for they are
expensive, as the old hens demand twenty-five grains of
corn for each egg.
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[‡Illustration: A Strawberry]
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“Mother Bunch Drinks a Toast”–#See Page 126:toast#.
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[Illustration: “Mother Bunch Drinks a Toast”–See Page 126.]
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THE EASTER EGG
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Humpty Dumpty sat on a hill,
Humpty Dumpty had a great spill;
All the Teenies, ladies and men,
Can’t put Humpty Dumpty together again.
—Rufus Rhyme, Teenie Weenie Poet.
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“WELL, madam,” said the General, lifting his hat and
bowing politely to the old hen who lived near the
shoe house, “will it be possible for you to furnish the
Teenie Weenies with an egg for their Easter dinner this
year?”
“Why, yes, of course,” snapped the old hen. “Ain’t I
always ready to lay an egg when I gets my pay?”
“Dear me,” whispered the Lady of Fashion to the
Doctor, “did you ever in all your life hear such bad
grammar?”
“How much will you charge us?” asked the General,
as he sat down on a pebble.
“Twenty-five grains of corn,” answered the hen,
glaring about at the Teenie Weenies.
“Great guns!” exclaimed the General, “why, that’s
five bags, and last year we paid you only three.”
“Things are awfully high now and worms are scarce;
well, all right, you can have an egg for twenty grains
of corn, and not one grain less,” cried the old hen.
“That’s pretty expensive,” said the General, “but it
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wouldn’t seem like Easter if we didn’t have a boiled egg,
so I’ll take it and we’ll bring over the corn in the morning
and get the egg.”
The next morning the little folks filled four teenie
weenie bags with corn. Five grains were put into each
bag and it was about all a Teenie Weenie could do to
carry it.
When the Teenie Weenies arrived at the hen’s house
they opened the bags and poured the corn out on the
ground so the old hen could count them, for she was a
businesslike old lady and wanted to be sure that she
was getting her full amount of corn.
“I’m not afraid you’ll cheat me,” she said, “but any
one is liable to make a mistake and I always believe in
being careful in a business deal.”
“That’s right, that’s right,” said a big rooster with a
huge double chin, who strutted up to the hen house.
“You can’t be too careful when it’s a matter of business.”
“How are you going to get the egg home?” asked
the old hen.
“Oh we can roll it very nicely,” answered the
General.
“Well, I was just going to say that I couldn’t deliver
it at the low price of twenty grains of corn,” cackled the
hen. “Give me ten grains more and I’ll walk over to the
shoe house and lay it anywhere you say.”
“It isn’t far and we can roll it easily,” answered the
General.
“Well clear out and give me a little time and I’ll lay
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the egg for you,” said the hen. “You don’t think I can
lay an egg with all you folks standin’ around here starin’,
do you?”
The Teenie Weenies retired to the other end of the
chicken yard, where they sat down on several corn cobs
to wait.
Presently the old hen announced the laying of the
egg with loud cackles and the little folks started at once
to roll the egg home.
It was easy work rolling the egg over the level
ground, but when the Teenie Weenies came to a steep
hill that lay in their path they found that it would be
necessary to use ropes in order to let it down safely.
The little fellows rolled the egg up to the edge of the
hill, while the Turk made the ropes ready to handle the
heavy load.
Suddenly a puff of wind struck the egg and it rolled
over the edge of the hill. The Cook and Gogo tried to
catch it, but they were too late, and the egg and the two
Teenie Weenies tumbled down the hill. The Policeman,
who was standing below, just had time to fall out of the
way as the egg and the Cook rolled past him and
smashed up against an old birch.
The Cook was able to save a great deal of the broken
egg, which he dipped up into many wash tubs and thimbles.
The Teenie Weenies went to bed that night with
heavy hearts, for they knew that it would be quite impossible
to buy another egg at such high prices.
Easter morning Shoehurst was filled with the greatest
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excitement, for on the ground
in front of the house lay a fine big
egg. Most of the Teenie Weenies
thought the Easter rabbit had left
the egg, but they were greatly
mistaken, for the old hen, who
was really a kind-hearted old
lady in spite of her gruff manner,
had heard of the broken egg and,
feeling sorry for the little people,
had slipped over early in the
morning and laid the egg herself.
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[‡Illustration: Tumbling]
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THE RAIN CAME DOWN BY THE THIMBLEFUL
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WHEN Zip, the little wild man, came to live with the
Teenie Weenies there wasn’t a bit of room left in the
old shoe house, so the kind hearted Chinaman took the
little chap into his tea pot laundry. There was plenty of
room in the old tea pot, so here the two little fellows
lived in great comfort and Zip paid for his board by helping
the Chinaman launder the Teenie Weenie clothes.
Zip and the Chinaman had eaten a great deal of the
easter egg and being tired and sleepy they had retired
quite early. While the little chaps lay dreaming in their
tiny beds, a great storm came up and the big rain drops
came down by the thimbleful. The little men were
awakened by the roar of the rain drops splashing on the
roof, but they merely turned over in their beds and went
to sleep again, for why should they worry about the
storm when they were sheltered in a strong tea pot?
Presently the Chinaman was awakened by a queer
bouncing of his bed, and to his great astonishment he
found that he was floating about the room. The frightened
Chinaman sat straight up, and as he did so he lost
his balance and tumbled kersplash into the water. He
quickly jumped to his feet and found that the water was
just up to his waist. Next he groped about the room for
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some Teenie Weenie matches and in a few minutes he lit
a tiny candle.
A wonderful sight met the little fellow’s eyes, for all
about the room chairs, tables, and things floated in great
confusion. Zip lay snoring on his bed, which floated
about, and the Chinaman had to shake him hard before
he could be awakened.
“Zippie! Zippie! klick! klick!” shouted the Chinaman.
“Wake up klick! Oh, suchee muchee wet.”
Poor Zip was scared half out of his wits when he
looked about the room and it didn’t take the two Teenie
Weenies long to grab a few clothes and scramble up onto
the roof, for the water was almost up to their necks and
was rising fast. The rain had stopped, but it was pitch
dark, so the little fellows could do nothing but put on
their clothes and wait for daylight.
The rest of the Teenie Weenie houses were not
injured by the heavy rain, for they stood on the high
ground and the water ran off down the hill into the little
hollow in which the tea pot stood. The laundry was entirely
surrounded by water, which was fully fourteen
Teenie Weenie feet deep, and as neither of the little men
dared swim among the floating sticks, they were forced
to wait until help arrived.
Shortly after daylight the Chinaman and Zip were
discovered sitting on top of the tea pot and in a short
time the Teenie Weenies came to their rescue. They
made a raft out of a couple of clothes pins, an old lead
pencil and some boards. Gogo and the Turk pushed the
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raft through the floating rubbish about the tea pot and
soon landed the Chinaman and Zip on dry land.
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[‡Illustration: Raft]
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“J-J-J-Jimminie fish hooks!” exclaimed the Dunce, who
was much excited over the rescue. “When I-I-Ig-g-go to
bed to-night I’m goin’ to take a c-c-c-cork with me for a
life preserver.”
“Allee same me savee irons,” cried the Chinaman,
who had brought two of his flat irons through the flood.
“It’s a mighty good thing you held onto those irons,”
laughed the Clown. “They might have floated away.”
The ground around the laundry was a sight when the
water finally settled, for the Teenie Weenie wood pile
was quite near and pencils, matches, and many sticks
lay scattered all over the ground.
The Teenie Weenies carried eight thimblefuls of
mud out of the tea pot and in a short time the little folks
had the laundry as clean as a billiard ball, for every
one of the little people helped with all his might.
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GOGO AND THE COOK RUN ACROSS AN EARLY BIRD
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A FEW days after the big flood,
Gogo and the Cook washed up
the breakfast dishes, cleaned the
kitchen and set out in search of a
mushroom for lunch.
“There’s some powerful big fat
ones over in de big field,” remarked
Gogo. “Why dere was one we all saw
one day what was so big that
fo’ of us done stand under it
while it was rainin’ and
nevah a single drop done
touch us.”
“Listen,” whispered the Cook as the little fellows
were making their way through some tall grass, “what
in the name of goodness is that awful noise?”
“Sounds powerful funny like,” answered Gogo. “Suppose
we go through the weeds and see what it is.”
The two Teenie Weenies pushed their way quietly
through the thick weeds and soon they saw a sight which
made them laugh. A young robin stood at the side of a
freshly spaded flower bed, and in his beak he held one
end of a big, fat worm. The other end of the worm was
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fast in a piece of earth and the robin, with his feet braced,
was holding on to the worm with all his might. The
robin was gurgling and trying to call for help through
his half closed beak, and the two Teenie Weenies quickly
saw he needed help if he wished to save the worm.
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[‡Illustration: The Robin]
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“Hold on tight!” shouted the Cook, running up to the
bird, “and we’ll get a pick and dig this old worm out for
you.”
The bird nodded his head, while the two little chaps
hurried over to the shoe house, where they secured a pick
and shouted to the rest of the Teenie Weenies to follow.
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The Turk caught hold of the bird’s tail and helped
him hold on to the worm, while the Dunce pushed on
the robin’s chest with all his strength. Gogo soon broke
the piece of earth up with the pick and
with one gulp the robin swallowed the
worm.
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[‡Illustration: Decoration]
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“Whee!” exclaimed the bird, as he
moved his head around to ease the stiffened
muscles. “That was some hard
job. I haven’t worked as hard as that
for my breakfast for a long time.
“I saw that worm and I grabbed onto him, but he
was a strong old fellow, for he certainly did hang onto
that piece of earth with a powerful grip. I hung right
onto him, for I hadn’t had a worm for several days, and
I made up my mind I’d have him if I had to hold on all
day.”
“Well, you certainly got him, all right!” laughed the
Policeman.
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[‡Illustration: Decoration]
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“You bet I did, thanks to your
help,” grinned the bird.
“How would you all like to hear
a verse?” said the Poet, who had been
writing on a piece of tiny paper while
the Teenie Weenies had been helping
the bird to get the worm.
“We’d like to hear it!” shouted
the Teenie Weenies.
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“This verse is entitled ‘Would You,’” said the Poet, as
he stepped onto a piece of earth in full view of the little
people:
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“I’d love to be a little bird and hop about the trees,
And aeroplane above the land and fly across the seas.
I wouldn’t like to eat the things that little birdies do,
For I don’t care a bit for worms, now honestly, do you?”
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[‡Illustration: The Dunce]
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THE DUNCE PICKS A SOFT PLACE TO FALL
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EVERY Sunday afternoon, when the weather was pleasant,
the Teenie Weenies took a long walk. “It’s good
for your health,” the General told them, “and, besides,
it’s a good way to put in the Sabbath afternoon.”
One Sunday while they were out on their walk they
stopped near a house to chat a bit with a couple of sparrows,
and as the little party talked the General happened
to see the Dunce crawl up a vine onto a window sill and
disappear through the open window.
“Mr. Policeman,” said the General, “I wish you would
follow that foolish Dunce and see what he is up to.”
The Policeman quickly followed the Dunce through
the window, but presently he appeared on the sill and
motioned the General to come up. The General climbed
the vine, followed by the rest of the Teenie Weenies, and
crossing over to the inside of the window sill he saw a
most alarming thing. Right below him stood a table and
on the table stood the Dunce, almost knee deep in a
piece of custard pie.
“Well, sir,” cried the General sternly, while the rest
of the Teenie Weenies tried to keep from laughing,
“haven’t I told you not to meddle with things when you
go into people’s houses? What do you mean by disobeying
me this way?”
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“J-J-J-Just a minute, G-G-G-General, and I’ll explain,”
shouted the Dunce, waving his dripping hands
at the General. “It’s all an accident, you see, and this is
the way it-it-it all happened. While you all were down
there talking to those sparrows I happened to see this
window was open and I thought I’d climb down here on
the table, and j-j-just then I-I-I-somethin’ told me I-I-I
was about to have a fall, and—and as long as I had
to have a fall I thought I might just as well fall into
the pie. You see, it being a custard pie, I knew
that it was s-s-soft, and, of course I wanted to fall
onto somethin’ soft. Why, it almost scares me to death
when I stop to think that if that pie had been an apple
pie, with a-a-a hard crust on it, I might have broken an
arm or somethin’.
“Well when I found I was goin’ to fall I stepped up
to the edge of the window sill, just above the pie, for I
wanted to fall into something soft. When I landed in
the pie I made up my mind that it wouldn’t hurt anything
if I took a bite, so I-I-I-I took a lick or two.”
“Well, sir,” said the General, “I have a feeling that
I’m going to fall, and I believe that as long as I’ve got to
fall it might as well be on you.”
“Wh-wh-what do you mean, General?” asked the
frightened Dunce.
“I mean, sir,” growled the General, “that I saw a
toothpick outside on the ground, and I’m going to get
it and give you a much deserved whipping.”
.if h
.il fn=p028.jpg w=574px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: The Dunce and the Pie]
.if-
The Dunce slowly crawled out of the pie, climbed to
.bn 030.png
.pn +1
.bn 031.png
.pn +1
the window sill and followed the General down the vine
to the ground.
The General picked up half a tooth pick, which lay
on the ground, and taking the naughty fellow by the
arm he led him back of an old tin bucket.
“Now sir,” said the General sadly. “This is going to
hurt me more than it will hurt you.”
“I-I-I’ll t-t-trade places with you, G-G-General,”
stuttered the Dunce.
The General was a most kind hearted little man and
he seldom used the switch, but the Dunce had been
warned many times to keep from meddling, and he
had to be punished.
He struck the Dunce several times very lightly
across his teenie weenie legs and the little chap yelled
as though he was being killed.
It didn’t hurt the Dunce a bit and he simply yelled
because he was frightened, but it did him a great deal
of good, for he behaved himself for a long time, which
goes to show that even a Teenie Weenie needs a teenie
weenie bit of punishment once in a while.
.bn 032.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
HELP! POLICEMANS!
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
“THUNDERIN’ SNAILS!” exclaimed Paddy Pinn,
shortly after the little folks had helped the robin get
his breakfast, as he picked up one of the tiny garden hoes
the Teenie Weenies use. “I’d bust this hoe with one dig,
that’s what I’d do,” and the big fellow burst out in a
loud laugh.
“Well, that’s the best we’ve got to offer you,” said the
Old Soldier.
“I’ll make one for myself before a grasshopper can
shake his left hind foot, that’s what I’ll do,” cried Paddy,
and he ran off towards the rose bush under which the
Teenie Weenies lived. In a few minutes he returned with
a big thorn, which he had cut from a dead brier, and,
using a match for a handle, he made a fine
hoe by tying the thorn to the match.
“There!” he exclaimed holding it up.
“That’s what I call a man’s
sized hoe, that’s what I do.”
.if h
.il fn=p030.jpg align=l w=200px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Decoration]
.if-
The little people set out for
the garden, as the General had
ordered them to hoe the lima
beans. A number of seeds had
been planted, for the Teenie
.bn 033.png
.pn +1
Weenies were fond of lima beans and they usually had to
store away about two hundred and fifty beans to last
them through the winter.
“It will take quite a few more beans this winter,”
said the General, “for our family is larger now.”
“Why the Dunce can eat twenty himself,” laughed
the Cook.
“You bet I could,” cried the Dunce, who was always
hungry. “I could eat a whole lima bean right this
minute.”
“Why you couldn’t eat half a bean at once,” said the
Old Soldier.
“Well, I bet a grape seed I could eat a third of a bean,
anyhow,” answered the Dunce.
The Teenie Weenie garden was hidden away where
grown-up people would not be likely to tramp on the
plants and as the little folks trudged along Gogo struck
up the following song, while all the rest joined in the
chorus:
.pm verse-start
“Beans they take the place of meat,
And so if we all wish to eat,
We must take our rake and hoe
And scratch the earth to make ’em grow.
CHORUS
“Hoe, hoe, rake and hoe!
Digging up and down the row.
Hoe, hoe, rake and hoe!
If you want to see them grow.”
.pm verse-end
.bn 034.png
.pn +1
The Teenie Weenies soon arrived at the garden and
they set to work at once, still singing the little song and
keeping time with the music as their tiny hoes struck
the ground.
The Lady of Fashion helped with the work, but she
was very careful not to soil her new garden suit, especially
her tiny boots, which were made out of the finest
frog leather.
“Listen!” said the Old Soldier, “I thought I he—” But
he did not finish the sentence, for loud screams came
from the tall grass back of the garden.
“Helpee! Helpee! Policemans, policemans!” came
a voice, and suddenly the frightened Chinaman burst
into sight with the most alarming speed.
.if h
.il fn=p032.jpg align=l w=200px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: The Bug]
.if-
Hanging onto his shirt tail
was a big fat pinching-bug and
the scared Chinaman was only
touching the ground about every
six inches.
Paddy Pinn struck the bug
on the head with his huge hoe,
as the Chinaman went by, and it rolled over on the
ground half stunned by the mighty blow.
“Where did you pick up your friend,” asked the General,
as he watched the bug scurry away through the
tall grass.
“Me no pickee him up,” gasped the Chinaman.
“Allee same he pick me up. Me sit down under bush
to rest and me go sleepee. Me wakee up much klick and,
.bn 035.png
.pn +1
whillikers, me see blig plinch bug and me run, but he
catchee to shirtee tail and me runnee like glasshopper!”
“I should say you did run like a grasshopper,”
laughed the Cowboy.
“Allee same you run like glasshopper, too,” glared
the Chinaman, “if blig plinchin’-bug was hangin’ on your
shirtee tail.”
.if h
.il fn=p033.jpg w=350px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: The Thimble]
.if-
.bn 036.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
FUZZY-WUZZY
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
THE Dunce teased the Chinaman a great deal after
his experience with the pinching-bug, but the little
fellow took it in good humor.
“Allee same me havee chance to laughee at you
sometime maybe,” said the Chinaman. “Me no get mad
but me likee chance to laugh at you.”
“All right Chink,” laughed the Dunce, “if I ever get
a pinchin’-bug on my shirt tail you can laugh yourself
sore.”
“Well me waitee; maybe time come when me allee
same laughee,” said the Chinaman.
The Chinaman’s chance came sooner than he
expected. Every Sunday afternoon the Teenie Weenies
took a long walk, for it was healthful to walk in the fresh
air, and besides it made them hungry for the fine dinner
which the Cook always prepared.
One Sunday during their walk the little people
stopped to pay a short call on an old hen and her chickens
who lived some little distance from the shoe house.
After chatting with the hen and her children for some
time the little people continued their walk through a big
open field where they finally sat down to rest on a soft,
mossy bank.
.bn 037.png
.pn +1
“Where’s the Dunce?” asked the General, as he sat
down beside the Lady of Fashion.
“I haven’t seen him since we left the old hen,”
answered the little lady.
“He’s back there teasing those chickens,” announced
Gogo. “I told him he’d better look out, or the first thing
he knew he’d get a powerful good peckin’, for one of
them fuzzy chickens looked mighty mad, that’s what she
did.”
“It would just serve him right,” laughed the General.
“And maybe it would teach him a lesson—”
“H-e-l-p! H-e-l-p!” came a voice from over a bank of
earth, and suddenly the Dunce dashed into view followed
by a very angry young chicken. The frightened
Dunce was covering the ground in great leaps, and just
as he ran into the midst of the startled Teenie Weenies
the chicken overtook him.
“There, you little rascal!” shouted the chicken, giving
the Dunce a peck with her beak which sent the little
chap sprawling in the dirt.
“What’s the trouble?” asked the General, jumping
to his feet.
“He was callin’ me ‘fuzzy-wuzzy’ and throwing things
at me—that’s what he was,” said the chicken, “and I
stood it just as long as I could and I chased him, that’s
what I did, and I’ll do it again, too, if he ever teases me
again.”
“You did exactly the right thing,” said the General,
“and I hope this will be a lesson to him.”
.bn 038.png
.pn +1
“I suppose I shouldn’t have lost my temper, but I
couldn’t stand it another minute,” said the chicken as
she trotted away in the direction of her home.
“J-J-J-Jimminie C-C-C-Christmas!” exclaimed the
Dunce, “but that fool chicken gave me an awful wallop.”
.if h
.il fn=p036.jpg w=600px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: The Chicken]
.if-
That night there was a big black and blue spot on
the Dunce’s back and the Doctor had to rub it with
salve, but it really did the foolish fellow a lot of good,
for he has done no teasing since.
.bn 039.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
THE CHINAMAN ASKS FOR A CISTERN
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
“WELL Chink, what can I do for you this morning?”
asked the General, as the Chinaman took off his
hat and stepped into the Teenie Weenie library.
“Allee same me gottee flavor me want to ask,” said
the little fellow.
“Sit down, sir, and tell me what it is,” smiled the
General, pushing a tiny chair towards the Chinaman.
“Well,” said the Chinaman, “me gottee lot of washie
allee time and me use lottee water.”
“Yes, I imagine you use a lot of water.”
“Oh yes!” exclaimed the Chinaman. “Me use muchee
much. Sometimes me use ten, twenty, twenty-three thimblefuls
when me have bigwash. Me likee water from
roof, it muchee much better to washee clothes in, but
when the rain he no come down me have to carry water
from cleek and that long way to carry wash water.”
“Yes it is,” agreed the General, “and we will have to
build a cistern so you can have all the water you need
without having to carry it so far.”
“Yes me wantee clistern; me need clistern and me
likee vlery much to have clistern.”
“You shall have a cistern. I’ll give orders for one to
be built right away,” said the General.
The General went out in search of the Old Soldier,
.bn 040.png
.pn +1
who was cutting some matches up for fire wood, and the
two Teenie Weenies discussed the matter of a cistern for
some time.
“We ought to have a good big cistern,” said the Old
Soldier, “and I believe that we could make a good one
by sinking a tin can in the ground.”
After a great deal of talk about the matter the little
men decided to build the cistern as near the center of the
little village as possible.
“You see,” said the Old Soldier, “if we build it at
some central point we won’t have to lay so many pipes,
and we will be able to catch all the water from most of
the roofs.”
The next morning the little people went to work,
and, while several of the Teenie Weenies dug a deep
hole near the shoe house, the rest went out in search of
a tin can to fill the hole.
On an ash heap not far away they found an old tin
can and after a great deal of labor the little folks rolled
it up to the hole. When the hole had been dug deep
enough the Teenie Weenies rolled it in and then filled
the earth in around the edges, so that when the work
was done only the top could be seen.
The Teenie Weenies used dried hollow reeds for
water pipes and when they had been painted thoroughly
with a water proof paint, which the Old Soldier
boiled up in a thimble, they carried the water nicely.
The pipes were connected up with the spouting from
the tiny roofs and laid in trenches to the cistern. The top
.bn 041.png
.pn +1
of the can was cut off and a tight fitting cover was put
on. A little door was left in the top of the cover, so a
bucket could be lowered and water drawn up when it
was needed. A bucket made out of a hazel nut was
used for the purpose, and it took three buckets full to
fill a thimble.
.if h
.il fn=p039.jpg w=600px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: A Can]
.if-
“Now allee we need is a rain,” cried the Chinaman,
.bn 042.png
.pn +1
when the work was finished. “And me hope it rainee
like everythings to-night.”
“Well you may have your wish, Chink,” said the
Sailor, looking up at the sky. “It sort of looks like we
may have a shower to-night.”
The Sailor was right. It did rain that night and it
rained hard.
The Chinaman was up at daylight to see whether the
cistern had been filled, and to the great joy of the little
chap he found it full to the very top.
.if h
.il fn=p040.jpg w=250px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Pour into thimble]
.if-
.bn 043.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
THE DOCTOR SAVES A BIRD
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
“DOCTOR!” shouted the Dunce one morning, as he
popped his head into the library, “t-t-there’s a
b-b-bird outs-s-side who wants to s-s-see you.”
“All right,” answered the Doctor, “tell him I’ll be out
in a minute.”
“I think he’s a her,” said the Dunce, “but anyhow
she’s awfully excited and I think something terrible
must have happened.”
The Doctor stepped out onto the Teenie Weenie
front porch, and before the house he saw a bird in the
act of shaking a tear off the end of her bill.
“Well, madam,” said the Doctor, “what can I do for
you?”
“Oh, Doctor,” cried the bird, “please save my baby!
I have lost two babies in the last month and please, oh,
please, save my last baby for me.”
“Be calm, my dear lady,” said the Doctor, “and tell
me all about the case.”
“Well,” began the mother, “I had three lovely babies
this spring and about six weeks ago two of them were
taken suddenly ill. I did everything I could for them,
but they both died and only last night my last baby was
taken sick. A squirrel, who lives in a tree near my nest,
.bn 044.png
.pn +1
told me about you and I decided to come to you for
help.”
“I’ll get my medicine case and join you in a minute,”
said the Doctor, and running into the tiny house he
soon returned.
“Jump right onto my back,” said the bird, “and I’ll
take you to my baby in a jiffy.”
The Doctor climbed onto the bird’s back and in
another minute he found himself sailing over the tops
of the trees so fast he could scarcely breathe. In a few
minutes the bird landed on a bush and quickly hopped
to a pretty nest hidden beneath the green leaves. The
Doctor slid off into the nest, where he found a young
and very sick bird.
.if h
.il fn=p042.jpg w=501px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: The tree]
.if-
“Let’s see your tongue,” said the Doctor, but the
poor bird was so sick he could hardly open his mouth
and the Doctor was forced to take hold of his beak and
help. Next the Doctor examined the bird’s eyes and
felt his pulse.
“What has the patient been eating lately?” asked
the Doctor.
“I have given him only the nicest and fattest bugs
and worms I could find,” answered the mother.
“Madam,” said the Doctor, “your baby is a very sick
boy, but I think I can save his life if you will follow my
advice.”
“I’ll do anything to save my boy,” cried the poor
mother.
“First,” said the Doctor, “the patient must not have
.bn 045.png
.pn +1
.bn 046.png
.pn +1
much to eat. He will have to have a special diet, which
the Teenie Weenie Cook will prepare for him. The
patient must be kept dry at all costs,” continued the
Doctor.
“I never leave the nest when it’s raining,” cried the
mother bird, “and I keep him just as dry as can be.”
“You keep the rain off your child, no doubt,” said the
Doctor, “but the nest gets wet and it must be kept dry
too.”
The bird carried the Doctor back to the shoe house,
where he soon made arrangements for taking care of
the sick child.
The Teenie Weenies carried boards over to the tree
and pulled them up to the nest with ropes and pulleys.
They built a strong frame work over the nest and
roofed it with card-board, which was given several coats
of water proof paint.
“This roof will keep the nest dry,” said the Doctor,
when the work had been done, “and that is a most important
matter.”
The Cook made angle-worm broth for the sick bird
and he cooked corn and rice in such a delicious way that
the poor patient soon began to improve. At the end of a
week the bird was much better and three weeks later
he was entirely cured.
.bn 047.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
“DO YOU all know what day this is?” asked Gogo, as
he stopped at the laundry door and looked mournfully
in at the Chinaman, who was singing loudly as he
rubbed a tiny shirt up and down his wash board.
.if h
.il fn=p044.jpg align=l w=125px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Boy with thimble]
.if-
“Why allee same it Fliday,” answered the
Chinaman.
“Yes sir,” said the little colored Teenie
Weenie sadly, “it’s mo’ than just Friday. It’s
Friday the thirteenth.”
“Allee same what difference?” asked the
Chinaman.
“When Friday comes on the thirteenth
of the month it’s mighty unlucky,”
answered Gogo, with a most serious
expression on his black little face. “You all better look
out, ’cause somethin’ always happens that is powerful
unlucky on a day like this.”
“Nothing happen unlucky to me,” cried the Chinaman.
“Me vely happy. Me gottee clistern full of water
and me gottee lottee wash to do, so me too busy to be
unlucky,” and the little chap began washing all the
harder.
“Well just you remembah that I-all told you it was
unlucky. I just wanted to wa’n you, dat’s all,” and Gogo
.bn 048.png
.pn +1
mournfully made his way to the Lovers’ bungalow,
where he left much advice to Mr. and Mrs. Lover.
Gogo spent most of the morning explaining that it
was Friday the thirteenth, and he warned each and
every Teenie Weenie that it was a most unlucky day.
“Well Gogo,” said the General, when the little people
sat down to their noonday meal, “has anything unlucky
happened yet?”
“No sir, not yet,” answered the little fellow, “but
there’s plenty of time yet for somethin’ to happen. Just
you wait and see.”
“General,” said the Cook, popping his head through
the kitchen door, “there isn’t a bit of sugar in the house.
Every last speck has been used and we haven’t a grain.”
“Great pinhead!” exclaimed the General, “that’s terrible.
We can’t get along without sugar.”
“Didn’t I-all tell you dat this was a unlucky day,”
cried Gogo, looking around at his friends.
“Well it certainly is unlucky if we haven’t any sugar
in the house,” cried the Dunce, who had a large sweet
tooth.
“After dinner I’ll see what we can do, Cook,” said the
General. “We certainly must have some sugar.”
The Teenie Weenies made their own sugar from the
sap of the maple tree, or from the blossoms of sweet
clover, but the frost had stopped the flow of the maple
sap and the little folks had only been able to make a
small amount of sugar.
“It will be quite a spell before we can make sugar
.bn 049.png
.pn +1
out of the sweet clover blossoms,” said the Old Soldier,
“and we will have to get sugar some other way.”
That afternoon the General ordered the Teenie Weenies
to go out in search of sugar. “But mind,” warned
the General, “I don’t want any one to take sugar from
the big houses unless you see that it is going to waste.”
All afternoon the little people searched about the
big house, but not one bit of sugar could they find, and
as it was growing dark, it began to look as though the
Teenie Weenie sugar bowl would be empty that night at
supper.
“Dat’s all on account of Friday the thirteenth,”
moaned Gogo. “Dis is suttinly a most unlucky day.”
“G-G-General, G-G-G-General,” gasped the Dunce
as he dashed into the Teenie Weenie sitting room, “Jimminie
f-f-f-fishhooks! I found a great big lot of sugar!”
“Where?” asked the excited Teenie Weenies.
“Well,” said the Dunce, “I was hurrying along the
walk over by the big fence and I saw a little boy stub
his toe and fall down. When he got up and went away
I went over where he had fallen and I found a bag of
sugar. He dropped it when he fell and it was spilled
over the sidewalk.”
“Didn’t he try and pick it up?” asked the Doctor.
“N-N-N-No,” answered the Dunce. “He just got up
and went on his way.”
“Well we certainly can’t let that sugar lie there and
spoil,” smiled the General, and he ordered the Teenie
Weenies to rescue as much of the sugar as possible.
.bn 050.png
.pn +1
.if h
.il fn=p047.jpg w=600px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Rescue as much of the sugar as possible.]
.if-
Taking shovels and thimbles the little folks hurried
to the bag of sugar, where they set to work carrying it
to their store house.
They worked until it was quite dark and when the
last bit of sugar which could be saved had been carried
to the store room, it filled an old teacup.
It took eighty-four thimblefuls to fill the cup and
the Cook announced that it would be quite enough to
last the little family through the canning season.
“Well Gogo,” said the Old Soldier, as the little people
sat around the tiny fire place after dinner, “considerin’
that cupful of sugar we found today, Friday the
thirteenth hasn’t proved so very unlucky.”
“N-N-N-No, taint,” answered the little fellow sadly,
“but it’s been mighty unlucky for that little boy that
stubbed his toe, just the same.”
.bn 051.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
AN INVITATION
.sp 2
.dc 0.3 0.65
“SAY Cook,” said the Dunce, peering into the Teenie
Weenie kitchen, “can’t we make s-s-some t-t-taffy?
You have a lot of sugar now and I thought maybe you
could s-s-s-spare s-s-s-some.”
“Oh, I suppose so!” answered the Cook. “But just
remember this; I don’t want you to get things mussed
up, and you’ve got to clean the kitchen up when you’re
through.”
“Yes s-s-sir, we will,” cried the Dunce, and he hurried
out to tell the good news to the Clown. But as he ran
out of the door all thoughts of taffy popped from his
tiny head, for he saw a most unusual sight.
Up the walk came six Teenie Weenies staggering
under the weight of a big letter and it was addressed
to the Teenie Weenies.
The little men dropped the letter on the ground before
the shoe house and quickly cut the envelope open
with one of their tiny axes.
A piece of paper was folded inside the envelope
and the little people soon pulled it out and spread it
on the ground.
“Read it, General, read it!” shouted the excited
Teenie Weenies.
.bn 052.png
.pn +1
“All right,” cried the General; “keep quiet and I’ll
read it aloud.”
The little folks had been chattering like a lot of magpies,
but they instantly held their tiny tongues and
gathered closely about the edge of the letter.
“Dear Teenie Weenies,” began the General, “I
thought I would write to you and ask you if you would
come and live in my doll house. I have a nice doll
house and it would make a very nice place for you to
live in. I will cook good things for you to eat. You can
play with my toys and I have a little toy horse that the
Dunce can ride on.
“You can have a pan of water to swim in. I will
make beautiful clothes for the Lady of Fashion. I will
make cookies for you, and I will make candy too. Please
come. I would like to have you come.
“Yours truly, your friend, Helen Meyers.”
“J-J-J-J-Jimminie f-f-f-fishhooks!” shouted the Dunce,
“let’s go. I can pack my suit case in two shakes of a
grasshopper’s hind leg.”
“Why goodness sakes!” exclaimed the Lady of Fashion,
who had been looking at the little girl’s address at
the bottom of the letter. “This little girl lives quite near
and we could go over to her house and see her doll
house.”
“Let’s do it,” shouted the little people so earnestly
that the General gave his consent and they set off
immediately.
.if h
.il fn=p050.jpg w=570px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Doll house]
.if-
After a long walk the Teenie Weenies finally arrived
.bn 053.png
.pn +1
.bn 054.png
.pn +1
at the little girl’s home and, finding the coast clear, they
soon made their way into the house.
In the corner of a room the little folks found the doll
house, which they examined from top to bottom.
“Well, it’s a nice enough house to look at,” remarked
the Cook, as he stepped out onto the front porch, “but
there isn’t any running water or a sink in the kitchen.”
“And there isn’t a bath room,” cried the Lady of
Fashion. “I simply couldn’t live in a house that had no
bath.”
“That just suits me,” said the Dunce, who hated
baths.
“It’s built out of paper,” said the Old Soldier.
“I’d never live in a house that was built out of paper.
There’s too much danger of fire and besides no insurance
company would ever insure a paper house,” and
the Old Soldier sat down on the little porch.
“Well,” said the General, sitting down beside the
Old Soldier, “I don’t think we want to give up the old
shoe house. Even if it is old, it’s a pretty comfortable
place after all.” And all the little folks quite agreed
with him.
The Teenie Weenies were much interested in the little
girl’s doll, which sat near the doll house, and they
examined it very carefully. Of course the Dunce had to
climb all over the doll, although the Policeman had
warned him to keep off. Finally he got his feet tangled
in the doll’s hair and fell off its head right on top of the
Policeman, who was so angry that he marched the
.bn 055.png
.pn +1
Dunce home, and sent him to bed with nothing to eat
but water and bread.
The little girl never knew that the Teenie Weenies
had paid her a visit, but had she examined the front
porch of her doll’s house she might have seen tiny foot
prints in the dust.
The next morning the Teenie Weenies answered
the little girl’s letter and here it is, just as the little people
set it down:
.pm letter-start
“Dear Helen:
“We want to thank you for your kind invitation, but
we think it would be much better for us to live in the
old shoe house. Shoehurst is quite comfortable, and it
is so pretty under the old rose bush we should hate to
give it up. The big briars, with their sharp thorns,
guard us like a sentinel and keep big feet from treading
on our home, and in the summer the cool leaves shield
us from the hot sun. It is beautiful in June, when the
scent of roses is in the air, to lie on the cool moss and
listen to the humming of the bees.
“Your kind invitation has given us a great deal of
pleasure, for it’s mighty nice to know that people want
us to come and live with them, even if we can’t do it.
“We can’t leave Shoehurst, for, although it’s nothing
but an old shoe, it’s home.
“Again thanking you for your generous invitation,
we are, sincerely yours,
.ti +15
“The Teenie Weenies.”
.pm letter-end
.bn 056.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 2
.if h
.il fn=p053.jpg w=592px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Mouse-back race]
.if-
.sp 4
.h2
THE MOUSE-BACK RACE
.sp 2
.dc 0.5 0.65
ALTHOUGH the Teenie Weenies refused to live with
big people, they never tired of going into the big
houses, for there were many wonderful things to see in
them.
“It was mighty nice of that little girl to ask us to
come and live in her doll’s house,” said the Old Soldier,
“but if we lived all the time in a big house we’d get so
used to them we wouldn’t care to visit them and that
would spoil a lot of our fun, for it really is a great
pleasure to wander among the things that big people
use.”
One afternoon several of the little folks were taking
a walk when they stopped before a big house.
“Let’s go in and look around,” said the Dunce, who
had fond hopes of finding something good to eat.
.bn 057.png
.pn +1
“Allee same this house where Blillie Mouse lives,”
cried the Chinaman.
“That’s so,” said the General. “Let’s go in and make
a call on Billie.”
“Yes, let’s do it,” cried the rest of the Teenie Weenies,
and they quickly made their way into the cellar where
Billie Mouse lived.
The entrance to the home of Mr. Mouse was through
a crack between two bricks. The General knocked
loudly several times, and receiving no answer, he told
the rest to wait for him, and stepped boldly in. He
found no one at home, and so, leaving his card,
returned to the waiting Teenie Weenies.
“I’m awfully sorry Mr. Mouse is out,” said the Lady
of Fashion, as the little people moved away. “I haven’t
seen him for a long time.”
“Here he comes now,” cried the Cook, pointing
toward a pile of lumber at the other end of the cellar.
“And there’s another mouse with him.”
Billie Mouse saw the Teenie Weenies, and came
bounding joyfully up to them.
“My, it does my eyes good to see you again,” he
cried. “It’s a long time since I have seen you.”
Motioning the other mouse to come up, he introduced
him to all the Teenie Weenies.
“I’m delighted to meet you,” the new mouse said,
making a deep bow.
“Well how have you been?” asked the General, sitting
down on the edge of an old scrubbing brush.
.bn 058.png
.pn +1
“Oh I’m in pretty good shape now,” answered Billie
Mouse, “but I have had a very bad time of it for the
last three weeks. I had a bad case of ptomaine
poisoning.”
“Ptomaine poisoning!” exclaimed the General.
“That’s rather serious.”
“Yes, I was pretty sick for a time,” said the Mouse.
“Got hold of some cheese that was tainted.”
“You ought to be careful of what you eat,” cried the
Lady of Fashion. “People are always putting out food
which has been poisoned.”
“I know it,” said Billie Mouse, “especially cheese.
I’m always suspicious of cheese, but this piece which
made me sick looked perfectly good. I smelled it and
carefully tasted it before I ate it and I thought it was
all right.”
“Let’s have a race?” suggested the Cowboy, after
the two mice and the Teenie Weenies had talked for
some time.
The mice agreed, and a race course was soon chosen.
The race was to be run between two long boards, and
an old scrubbing brush was brought up for a hurdle at
the end of the track. The Cowboy was to ride one
mouse and the Dunce, who claimed to be a good rider,
the other.
“Now,” said the General, “the man who rides down
the length of these boards and jumps over the scrubbing
brush first will win the race.”
When all was ready the signal was given and down
.bn 059.png
.pn +1
the track came the mice, as fast as they could run, with
the Cowboy and the Dunce sticking tightly to their
backs. As the mice drew near the hurdle the Dunce
was ahead, and it looked as though he would win the
race. But just as the mouse sprang into the air to leap
over the brush the Dunce lost his grip, and was tossed
into the air. The mouse jumped over the brush, and
when the Dunce came down he hit the ground with a
great thud.
.if h
.il fn=p056.jpg w=600px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Mouse riding]
.if-
The Cowboy stuck tightly to his mouse, and leaping
gracefully over the brush, he was declared winner.
The Dunce was not hurt by his fall. He joined loudly
in the laughter that greeted his tumble, and was the
first to start a cheer for the Cowboy.
.bn 060.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
A WATERMELON FEAST
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
“SAY, Gogo!” shouted the Dunce one morning as he
ran up the steps of the shoe house. “Do you like
watermelon?”
“Say, foolish person, what you-all askin’ such a
silly question fo’?” grinned the happy colored Teenie
Weenie. “If there is anything in the whole world I like
better than watermelon, it’s mo’ watermelon.”
“Well I-I-I know where there’s a great b-b-big piece,”
shouted the Dunce. “It’s over on a table in the big green
house and there was a man eatin’ some and he said that
he couldn’t eat any more. I heard him, for I climbed up
the morning glory vine at the window and watched
him.”
“Let’s go!” shouted several of the Teenie Weenies.
“Well you’d better not be in a hurry,” remarked the
General, stepping out onto the front porch. “You all
know that it wouldn’t be right to help yourselves to that
watermelon unless the people who own it were going
to throw it away.”
“Yes s-s-sir, that’s j-j-j-just what they are going to
do,” stuttered the Dunce. “The man said that he couldn’t
eat any more and a woman said to leave it right on
the table and she would throw it out.”
“Well that’s different,” answered the General, who
.bn 061.png
.pn +1
was fond of melon himself. “Under the circumstances
we can go over and have a taste.”
It took but a short time for the little people to make
their way over to the house and, crawling through the
crack under the kitchen door, they saw the red top of
the melon on the table. To their delight they saw a great
deal had been left.
The Teenie Weenies all are wonderful climbers, and
it was a simple matter for the little folks to climb up
onto the table. They swarmed onto the melon and ate
until they could not hold another bite.
After the little people had eaten all they could hold
they amused themselves by playing with the various
things they found on the table. The Clown climbed up
to the top of a fork, which stuck in the melon, and performed
some wonderful acrobatic feats. The small boys
took off their shoes and stockings, waded in the juice,
and pushed themselves about with toothpicks on the
huge seeds, which made fine rafts.
Gogo ate until he nearly burst, and the Doctor found
the little fellow sitting on the handle of a knife holding
his tiny head.
“What’s the matter?” asked the Doctor.
“I’s in trouble,” he groaned.
“Anything serious?” asked the Doctor.
“Yes, sir,” answered the colored Teenie Weenie,
pointing to the huge slice of melon. “I’s plumb full. Can’t
eat another bite, and all that watermelon before me!”
“Well that is sort of tough,” laughed the Doctor,
.bn 062.png
.pn +1
“but if I were you I’d not let that worry me, for you certainly
will be sick if you eat any more.”
The Cowboy carried several of the seeds back to the
shoe house and stored them away in the tool house.
.if h
.il fn=p059.jpg align=l w=150px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Watermelon pits]
.if-
“I’m going to plant these next summer,”
he said, “and then we can have
a watermelon of our own.”
“You’d have a hard time cutting it
open,” suggested the Old Soldier.
“Gosh!” exclaimed the Cowboy, “I
never thought of that, but I suppose we
could blast it open with dynamite.”
“Just leave that to Gogo,” laughed
the Doctor. “He will find some way to get into it.”
The Teenie Weenies were so full of melon they could
not eat a bite of lunch—not even the Dunce—and the
Cook had a good rest that day.
Poor Gogo ate more than was good for him. He
consumed a piece of melon as big as a hickory nut and
the Doctor was up half the night putting teenie weenie
hot water bottles on his teenie weenie tummie.
.bn 063.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
THE DUNCE GETS STUCK IN A PLATE OF TAFFY
.sp 2
.dc 0.25 0.65
SEVERAL days after the watermelon feast the Dunce
failed to put in an appearance at the noonday meal.
This was rather unusual, for he was always hungry and
he generally was the first Teenie Weenie to draw his
chair up to the tiny table.
“Where’s the Dunce?” asked the General, as he
carved a slice from a big strawberry and dropped it
onto the Cowboy’s waiting plate.
“I haven’t seen him for a couple of hours,” answered
the Policeman.
“Last me see him,” grunted the Indian, “him go down
garden path to big house.”
“Well, I think something must have happened to him,
for he is always the first to the dinner table,” said the
General, anxiously.
“I think so, too,” put in the Lady of Fashion, “for he
knew we were going to have a strawberry for dinner,
and that would bring him, if nothing else did.”
“Just as soon as we have finished dinner I think
some of us had better go out and look for him,” said the
General.
So, as soon as the meal was over, the Teenie Weenies
started out to search for the Dunce.
.bn 064.png
.pn +1
The Indian pointed out the house near which he
had last seen the Dunce, and crawling under the door
the Teenie Weenies began to look all about the place.
“Listen,” cried the Cook, as he stepped over a safety
pin, “I thought I heard him call.”
“Help—h-e-l-p!” came a voice faintly from the next
room.
“That’s him—that’s the Dunce’s voice,” cried the
Sailor, and running through the doorway, they saw the
tip of the Dunce’s cap bobbing up and down over the
top of a sideboard.
Climbing up, the Teenie Weenies found the Dunce
standing up to his knees in a plate of sticky taffy!
“I—I—I’m stuck,” sobbed the Dunce.
“Yes, we can see you are,” said the General, with a
smile, as he walked up to the side of the plate.
After a great deal of work the Cowboy and the Turk
pulled the Dunce out.
.if h
.il fn=p061.jpg w=600px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Taffy]
.if-
“What were you doing in that taffy?” asked the
.bn 065.png
.pn +1
General, as he led the Dunce up the garden towards the
Teenie Weenie house.
“I saw the plate,” answered the Dunce, “and I—I—I
just went up to get a taste and—and—”
“You got stuck fast,” said the General.
“Yes—I did,” and the Dunce looked sad and sorry.
“Look here,” said the General, “you’ve got to stop
this running away, or I’ll send you off to the little girl
who wrote us a letter and said that if the Dunce would
come and live with her, she would reform him, and
make a good boy out of him. I think you need
reforming.”
“Y-yes,” said the Dunce, uncertainly.
“What do you think would have happened to you if
we hadn’t found you and pulled you out of that taffy?”
demanded the General.
The Dunce looked frightened. “Why—why,” he
answered, “I spec’ I would have been et!”
.bn 066.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
THE GREAT FIELD DAY
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
THE Teenie Weenies teased the Dunce a great deal
after his experience in the taffy plate, and if it hadn’t
been for an event which soon took place he would have
had to stand much more of their joking.
.if h
.il fn=p063.jpg align=l w=150px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Decoration]
.if-
For a long time the Teenie Weenies had
thought of holding a field day. Their interest
in athletics probably started from the example
of the Chinaman, who had become quite expert
as a pole vaulter. The little fellow made a
vaulting pole out of a dry straw, and with this
he could vault over a dandelion with the
greatest ease.
“Do you-all know that we could have a field day if
we really tried?” asked Gogo one afternoon of a group
of the little fellows as they sat watching the Chinaman.
“Now there is the Chinaman, who could enter the pole
vault, the Turk can run fast and he can jump and I can
put the shot. Why, we could have a powerful fine field
day.”
“And say!” exclaimed Rufus Rhyme. “How’s this for
a yell:
.pm verse-start
“Rah! Rah! Rah!
Zip boom Fah!
Teenie Weenie! Teenie Weenie!
Rah! Rah! Rah!”
.pm verse-end
.bn 067.png
.pn +1
.if h
.il fn=p064a.jpg align=l w=100px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Throwing a ball]
.if-
“That’s fine!” shouted the little chaps,
and they practiced the yell until they
fairly rattled the leaves on the old rose
bush.
Everybody was greatly excited over
the suggestion for a field day, and for
several weeks the little men trained for
the great event. A place was chosen on a fine sandy spot
near the shoe house where the little people could hold
their games in perfect safety. A big board fence stood on
one side, while a row of bushes protected them from
prying eyes on the other side.
For several days the Old Soldier and the Turk had
worked hard getting things ready for the great day.
Many hurdles were built out of matches and two long
poles were set firmly in the ground for the pole vault.
The Teenie Weenie ladies, led by the Lady of Fashion,
found a piece of an old silk necktie, which they cut up
and made into many tiny pennants, on which they
embroidered the Teenie Weenie monogram.
.if h
.il fn=p064b.jpg align=l w=150px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Hurdles]
.if-
The day of the great event proved
to be warm and pleasant and many tiny
records were broken by the little folks.
Gogo proved to be the hero of the day.
Besides acting as trainer to the athletes,
he broke the Teenie Weenie record for
the shot put, hurling the B B buck shot
forty-two and a half (Teenie Weenie)
feet, which is twenty-one and a quarter
.bn 068.png
.pn +1
inches in our measurement. This mighty effort beat the
record by two and a half feet, which had been held by
Paddy Pinn for several years.
.if h
.il fn=p065.jpg w=600px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: High jump]
.if-
The Turk won the hundred and twenty yard hurdle
race, beating the Dunce by two seconds. The Scotchman
won the hundred yard dash, while the Clown took away
the honors in the high jump. The little fellow cleared
the match at seven and a half (Teenie Weenie) feet, or
three and three-quarters inches.
The Chinaman set a new record for the pole vault.
.bn 069.png
.pn +1
The little chap cleared the straw at fifteen (Teenie
Weenie) feet.
The Teenie Weenies had a most wonderful day, and
that night they held a banquet in honor of the occasion.
The desks were removed from the floor of the school
house, a huge table was brought in and the Cook dished
up one of the finest dinners the little people ever ate.
The Dunce ate so much of the big stuffed prune,
which was served for dessert, that he had to go to bed,
but the rest of the little folks danced until a late hour.
.if h
.il fn=p066.jpg w=600px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Bee]
.if-
.bn 070.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
THE DUNCE PULLS A TOOTH
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
“I’LL just bet you a grape seed I’d have won that hurdle
race from the Turk, if I hadn’t had a toothache,”
said the Dunce the day after the field day.
“Why don’t you-all have it pulled?” asked Gogo.
“Ah say! Jimminie f-f-f-fishhooks!” exclaimed the
Dunce. “That would hurt and I’d rather have the t-t-t-toothache.”
The poor Dunce was afraid to mention his toothache
to the General for fear he would have the Doctor pull it
out. He suffered for some time, but at last he could
stand it no longer and one day he decided to ask advice.
“Oh, whillikers! Jimminie fishhooks, ouch!” he
howled as he ran into the sitting room of the shoe house.
“Now what’s the matter?” asked the General.
“I-I-I-I’ve got the t-t-t-toothache!” wailed the Dunce,
holding his hand over his jaw and dancing about on one
foot.
“Well, find the Doctor and get attended to,” said the
General.
The Dunce found the Doctor, and after he had carefully
examined the aching tooth he told the Dunce it
would have to be pulled.
“What!” shouted the Dunce. “Jimminie Christmas!
I-I-I-I’d rather have the t-t-toothache.”
.bn 071.png
.pn +1
“All right, just as you like,” said the Doctor.
“Can’t you put something on it to make it quit aching?”
asked the Dunce.
“That tooth is in bad condition,” said the Doctor,
“and the only way to stop it for once and all is to pull it.”
“All right, s-s-s-sir,” groaned the Dunce, “p-p-p-pull
it out.”
The Doctor got out a tiny pair of forceps and a glass
of water. He then had the Dunce sit in one of the easy
chairs and told him to open his mouth.
“S-S-S-Say, Doc,” stuttered the frightened Dunce,
“i-i-i-is it gonna hurt m-m-m-much?”
“Yes, it will hurt a little.”
“S-S-S-Say, Doc, c-c-c-couldn’t I pull it myself?”
“I suppose you could,” answered the Doctor. “You
could tie a thread to it with the other end fixed to a
stone and then get up on something high and drop the
stone. That would certainly pull it out.”
“That’s w-w-w-what I’m gonna do,” and the Dunce
jumped out of the chair and disappeared through the
doorway.
The Dunce hunted up Gogo and asked that little
fellow’s advice about pulling the aching tooth.
“Dere’s a fine place over the hill just back of the
house,” said the little black Teenie Weenie. “Dere’s a
berry basket and you can done climb up on dat, tie on
de stone, and out comes dat toof like a cork out of a
bottle.”
The two little fellows secured a piece of strong silk
.bn 072.png
.pn +1
thread and, followed by a number of the Teenie Weenies,
they hurried to the basket back of the house.
.if h
.il fn=p069.jpg w=600px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Peach seed]
.if-
The Dunce and Gogo chose a peach seed for the
weight to tie to the end of the thread and after boosting
it up onto the basket they climbed up themselves. The
.bn 073.png
.pn +1
thread was fixed tightly to the peach seed and the other
end was tied to the offending tooth.
“Now all you got to do is to give dat peach seed a
kick and out comes dat toof,” said Gogo.
“C-C-C-Crickets!” moaned the Dunce, “I-I-I-I got a
kind of sick feelin’ in my s-s-s-stomach. I think I’ll wait
awhile.”
For full half an hour the Dunce stood trembling on
the edge of the basket while Gogo and the Doctor
argued with the foolish fellow to kick off the seed and
have it all over.
While the Dunce was talking to the Doctor, Gogo
suddenly kicked the seed off the basket and the tooth
was jerked out of the Dunce’s mouth before he really
knew what happened.
“Oh, whillikers! Jimminie crickets! Hallelujah!”
shouted the Dunce, dancing up and down with joy, when
he realized that the tooth was out. “It’s out, it’s out!
Hallelujah, hallelujah!”
.bn 074.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
AN ADVENTURE WITH A FROG
.sp 2
.dc 0.5 0.65
“ALLEE same where Clowboy?” gasped the Chinaman,
stopping at the back porch of the shoe house,
were the Cook sat slicing a grape for lunch.
“I saw him a while ago talking to the Indian,”
answered the Cook. “They were sitting under that big
mushroom on the other side of the house.”
“Thankee,” and the Chinaman hurried around the
corner of the house, puffing like a steam engine.
“Oh there you are,” he cried, as he spied the Indian
and the Cowboy, lying in the shade of the mushroom.
“Allee same me gottee much to tell.”
“Well what is it, Chink?” asked the Cowboy.
“Me see big clowflog.”
“You mean a big bullfrog,” corrected the Cowboy.
“Yes, yes—a bulltoad—bullflog,” cried the excited
Chinaman. “Him sleep on log at pond. Him snore like
everythings. You come and throw lasso over his head
and we catchee him.”
“You round up the fellows and I’ll get my rope,”
cried the Cowboy, smacking his lips over the thought of
delicious baked frog ham.
In a few minutes the Teenie Weenies were on their
way towards the pond, which lay back of the woods
near the shoe house.
.bn 075.png
.pn +1
“S-s-sh,” warned the Indian, as the little people hurried
up to the edge of the pond. “Frog him sleep; don’t
wake.”
The Teenie Weenies sneaked along carefully until
they stood quite near the log on which the sleeping frog
sat. He was a big green fellow and the Teenie Weenies
scarcely breathed for fear they would awaken the frog,
and lose him.
Several of the strongest Teenie Weenies held the end
of the rope while the Cowboy crawled silently onto the
log.
“Now when I drop the noose over the frog’s head,”
whispered the Cowboy, “you fellows jerk the rope and
hold on for dear life.”
The Cowboy slipped quietly up behind the frog and
cleverly tossed the rope over the big fellow’s head.
Awakened by the rope falling about his neck, the
frog gave a mighty leap towards the water. He was a
powerful fellow, and went into the water with a great
splash, pulling several of the Teenie Weenies with him.
As the frog disappeared beneath the water the Teenie
Weenies swam for shore, where they were pulled up
onto the bank by their friends, all sputtering, all soaked
to the skin, but unhurt.
.if h
.il fn=p072.jpg w=532px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Frog]
.if-
When the Teenie Weenies discovered that none of
the little folks had been hurt by the ducking, they
laughed until the tears ran down their teenie weenie
faces.
“Ho, ho, ho!” roared the Poet, as he rolled over on
.bn 076.png
.pn +1
.bn 077.png
.pn +1
the ground with laughter, “I haven’t seen anything so
funny as this for a long time.”
“It’s almost as funny as the time the Dunce fell into
the dish of apple sauce,” giggled the Lady of Fashion.
“Goodee gracious!” exclaimed the Chinaman, who
had been looking on with wide opened eyes, “allee same
me didn’t know that bull clow—I mean bullflog—him so
strong.”
“Strong!” cried the Doctor, “I should say they are
strong. Why a frog has wonderfully powerful legs. He
could kick a Teenie Weenie over an ice cream bucket
with one blow of his hind leg.”
“I wouldn’t mind if one kicked me INTO an ice cream
freezer,” grinned the Dunce, who was fond of ice cream.
“That ’ol frog reminds me of an old song,” said Gogo
and as the Teenie Weenies walked back towards the shoe
house the little colored chap sang this quaint little song:
.pm verse-start
“Frog went a-courting and he did ride—
Umm humm!
Frog went a-courting and he did ride,
He wore a pistol by his side—
Umm humm!
He rode up to Miss Mouse’s house—
Umm humm!
He rode up to Miss Mouse’s house—
Said he ‘Miss Mouse will you marry me?’
Umm humm!”
.pm verse-end
.bn 078.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
SOMETHING ABOUT A BEAR
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
IT was a warm, lazy sort of morning, and very few
Teenie Weenies were to be seen about the rose bush.
Grandpa sat fast asleep in his easy chair on the front
porch of the shoe house. Gogo was busily engaged carving
a sugar bowl out of a large cherry seed, while several
of the little men hacked at the wood pile back of the
kitchen.
The Policeman was telling a couple of sparrows how
the Dunce howled over his tooth being pulled when the
Lady of Fashion touched him on the shoulder.
“I beg your pardon,” she said, “but do you know
where the General is?”
“He’s over at the tool house, ma’am,” answered the
Policeman, touching his hat.
“Is he busy?” asked the little lady.
“I don’t think so, ma’am. He’s just watching the Old
Soldier and Paddy Pinn, who are tanning a frog hide for
shoe leather.”
“Would you mind asking him to meet me in the
library. I want to see him on a matter of great importance,”
said the Lady of Fashion.
“With pleasure, ma’am,” answered the Policeman,
and touching his hat again he set off while the Lady of
Fashion returned to the shoe house.
.bn 079.png
.pn +1
“Well, my dear lady,” said the General a few minutes
later as he stepped into the Teenie Weenie library where
the Lady of Fashion sat waiting, “the Policeman tells me
that you want to speak with me.”
“Yes, General,” answered the little lady, “I have
something important I want to talk to you about. I want
you to do something for me. Something very nice. Will
you?”
“Why, I don’t know. What do you want?” asked the
head of the Teenie Weenies as he sat down in one of the
tiny chairs.
“Well,” began the little lady, “while I was out walking
yesterday with the Doctor, we went into a house to get
warm and while we were there we heard a little girl crying
as though her heart would break. The little girl had
broken the wheel of her toy bear and I wish you would
get the boys to go over and fix it for her. She’s a child
who hasn’t many toys.”
“I don’t see how we can spare the time just now, for we
have eleven clothes pins to split up into stove wood and—but
we’ll do it anyhow!” said the General, as he saw the
tears gathering in the Lady of Fashion’s eyes.
“Oh, thank you so much!” and the little lady kissed
the General on top of his bald little head.
That afternoon the General and several of the Teenie
Weenie men walked over to the house where the little girl
lived, and had a look at the broken toy. The bear was a
big fellow, and one of the solid wooden wheels on which
he moved about was broken in two.
.bn 080.png
.pn +1
“The axle is broken, too,” said the Turk, peering
under the board on which the bear stood.
“We’ll have to make some long bolts to hold the wheel
together,” announced the Old Soldier, who had been
measuring the broken wheel with his tiny tape-measure.
.if h
.il fn=p076.jpg w=600px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Bear]
.if-
After a great deal of talk and measuring, the little men
hurried back to the shoe house, where they set to work
making the bolts and nuts necessary for mending the
broken bear.
.bn 081.png
.pn +1
The next morning the Teenie Weenie workmen set
off for the little girl’s house, followed by a number of the
little people who were curious to see the bear. As the little
girl had been taken out for a walk, the coast was clear,
and the little men started to work at once, while the rest
wandered about examining a doll’s house and many other
toys which stood about the room.
The Teenie Weenies jacked up the bear, fitted in a
lead pencil for an axle, bolted together the broken wheel,
and in a short time the little men had made the toy as
good as new.
When the little girl came back from her walk and
found the mended toy she was very happy, and she wondered
many, many times just who had fixed the broken
bear.
.if h
.il fn=p077.jpg w=300px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Boy and pencil]
.if-
.bn 082.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
THE INVENTION
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
“I’LL bet that little girl has wondered many times how
her bear was mended,” chuckled the Old Soldier, as
he stirred up the fire with a big darning needle which the
little folks used for a poker.
“She must consider it quite a mystery,” said the Lady
of Fashion.
“Speaking of mysteries,” cried the Turk, “does anybody
know what the Dunce is up to?”
The Dunce had been locking himself up in his room for
the last few days, in a most mysterious way. He seemed
very important and he refused to answer questions.
“I’ll bet he is building something,” ventured the Cowboy.
“He’s been hammering away all day.”
“I saw him sneaking along this morning with a cork on
his shoulder,” said the Cook.
.if h
.il fn=p078.jpg align=l w=150px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Barrel]
.if-
“Well just give him a little time and we’ll find out,”
remarked Grandpa, nodding his head wisely.
“He’s swelling up so with importance he’ll
have to tell pretty soon or he will bust.”
Grandpa was right, for that very evening
the Dunce arose from his chair at the
teenie weenie supper table and said: “Ladies
and gentlemen, I have just finished a great
invention and, if I can find some deep
.bn 083.png
.pn +1
water near by, I will be glad to show you something
astonishing.”
“Three rousing cheers for Thomas Edison Dunce!”
shouted the Clown, and the cheers were given with such a
will that the squirrel, who lived near the shoe house,
came running over and looked in the window to see what
the noise was all about.
As the weather was quite cool, the Teenie Weenies
thought it would be wise to try the Dunce’s invention indoors.
So it was decided to go to the big house across the
street, where plenty of water could be found in the bathroom.
As soon as breakfast was over the next morning
the Teenie Weenies hurried over to the house and
climbed up to the washstand. After a lot of hard work
they got the faucets turned and filled the bowl with
water. The Dunce then took two corks from a big package
that the Sailor had helped him carry, and strapped
them tightly to his feet.
“Now, ladies and gentlemen,” shouted the Dunce, “I
will show you how easy it is to walk on water.”
Letting himself down into the water by the chain to
the stopper, the Dunce stepped bravely out toward the
center of the bowl. But—as soon as he let go of the chain
he lost his balance and fell over, kersplash, into the
water! The corks, being so light, pulled his feet to the
top of the water, and kept them there, and if the Turk
and the Sailor had not promptly dived in after him the
Dunce would probably have been drowned.
“G-G-G-Golly.” spluttered the Dunce, as he sat dripping,
.bn 084.png
.pn +1
but safe, on the edge of the bowl, “it d-d-didn’t
w-wo-work, did it?”
.if h
.il fn=p080.jpg w=590px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Dunce in the water]
.if-
The Teenie Weenies had lots of fun teasing the Dunce
about walking on the water, and it was many days before
he heard the last of his wonderful invention.
.bn 085.png
.pn +1
.bn 086.png
.pn +1
.pb
\_
.sp 4
.if h
.il fn=p081.jpg w=501px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Drum]
.if-
.sp 4
.h2
THE GREAT BALL
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
THERE was some great secret in the air. For some time
there had been much stir in and about the Teenie
Weenie village beneath the rose bush. There were many
secret meetings between the General and the Lady of
Fashion, who seemed to be the leading spirits of it all. The
Turk and the Cook and Gogo, under the direction of the
Lady of Fashion, spent many days in the cellar of a certain
house not far from Shoehurst. The Lovers’ bungalow
was closed to all gentlemen callers every afternoon
for several weeks, and it was reported that the little ladies
who gathered there were sewing with might and main.
“By heck, it ’pears to me that there is somethin’
mighty queer goin’ on ’round here,” remarked Grandpa
as he shuffled into the Chinaman’s laundry one afternoon.
“Such carryin’s on I haven’t seen for a long time.”
“Allee same muchee slecrets,” said the Chinaman,
putting down his tiny iron and pushing out a chair for his
visitor.
“Secrets!” shouted the old man. “Why, bless my soul,
the air is full of ’em, and I reckon it’s some of those new
fangled ideas of the Lady of Fashion; she’s always up to
somethin’ or t’other.”
“Allee same we fine out if we wait long enough,”
laughed the Chinaman.
.bn 087.png
.pn +1
“Well, I ’spect you’re right,” growled Grandpa, “but
we never did have any carryin’s on like that when I was
a youngster.”
It wasn’t long before all the Teenie Weenies knew
what the secret was, for one morning they each received
a tiny invitation written neatly in the dainty hand of
the Lady of Fashion.
It was a very formal invitation to a grand ball in the
cellar of a certain house.
There was much excitement among some of the little
men, for it was whispered about that those who
attended the ball were supposed to wear full dress suits
and several of the little chaps had none. However, the
Old Soldier, who was quite a good tailor, came to their
rescue and everybody was provided with a dress suit,
or “fish and soup suit,” as Grandpa called them.
The ball was to be the most fashionable thing that
ever had been given in Teenie Weenie land, and all the
little folks could hardly wait for the appointed day.
The ball was to be given on the head of a drum
which lay in a cellar not far from the shoe house. A
paper box, which was found in the cellar, was pulled up
beside the drum. Onto it steps were built up to the
head of the drum. By cutting a door in the box it made
a wonderful place for the little guests to leave their
wraps, and a curtain, strung across the center of the box,
gave the little ladies a snug place to powder their tiny
noses. The head of the drum made a fine dance floor,
and around the edges comfortable seats were placed.
.bn 088.png
.pn +1
It took quite a lot of argument to get the Dunce and
Gogo to act as footmen, for they wanted to wear dress
suits like the rest, but when they found out that they
were to help the Cook serve the ice cream they were
very willing.
The day of the ball the excited Teenie Weenies
started to scrub and clean themselves many hours before
the time set for the party, and a cleaner set of little folks
never was seen.
At 9 o’clock the guests began to arrive and they
were received at the top of the stairs by the Lady of Fashion
and the General. Great candles flooded the place
with light, and the Old Soldier, Paddy Pinn, and the Cowboy
furnished music for the dancing.
At first the guests were rather stiff and formal, but
the Dunce relieved the situation by falling down stairs
with a tray full of dishes. The little people laughed
right out loud when they saw the Dunce wasn’t hurt, and
from that moment on every one enjoyed themselves as
they never had before.
A wonderful lunch was prepared by the Cook, and
the footmen passed around dainty sandwiches, cocoa,
lemonade, and ice cream.
All the Teenie Weenies attended the ball, except
Grandpa, who stayed home and took care of the Lover
Twins, and everyone said that the ball was the greatest
event that had ever taken place in the Teenie Weenie
social world.
“We had a wonderfully fine time, Grandpa,” cried
.bn 089.png
.pn +1
the Doctor when the little folks returned from the ball.
“And we had awful good things to eat,” announced
the Dunce. “See, I’ve brought some home for you,” and
the little fellow uncovered a tiny dish filled with ice
cream.
“Once I went to a party,” said Grandpa, dipping into
the ice cream. “It was along in March in forty-nine—” But
the little folks were too tired to listen to the story and
they trudged off to bed, leaving the old gentleman to finish
his ice cream and story by himself.
.if h
.il fn=p084.jpg w=400px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Mirror]
.if-
.bn 090.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
A MOST UNLUCKY MOUSE
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
“WELL,” yawned Mr. Mouse, rolling off his soft cotton
bed, “I think I’d better go out and see what I can
find for breakfast; we haven’t a bit of cheese or bread in
the house.”
“Now do be careful, dear,” warned Mrs. Mouse, “and
please don’t go near that nasty old trap under the steps.”
“All right, I’ll be careful,” laughed her husband and
he hurried down the long hall which connected their
home with a large cellar where all sorts of good things
could usually be found. But on this particular morning
Mr. Mouse found food very scarce and he was forced to
climb about in many places in search of breakfast. While
walking along the edge of a basket he chanced to see some
crumbs of bread on the
steps near by, and wishing
to make a short cut
he decided to leap onto
an empty fruit jar that
stood near, and from
there onto the steps.
He made a mighty leap
onto the jar, but before he could balance himself he
slipped and fell in.
.if h
.il fn=p085.jpg align=l w=250px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Mouse]
.if-
His cries for help could not be heard, and it was some
.bn 091.png
.pn +1
time before Mrs. Mouse, who had been alarmed at his absence,
found the poor fellow.
“Oh, dear me! By the great cat’s tail! This is most
awful!” exclaimed Mrs. Mouse, bursting into tears.
.if h
.il fn=p086.jpg w=592px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Jar]
.if-
“Go tell the Teenie Weenies!” shouted her husband.
“They will come and help me out.”
Mrs. Mouse ran over to the shoe house, and climbing
.bn 092.png
.pn +1
up the front steps she rapped so hard that she scratched
half the paint off the tiny door. Between bursts of tears
Mrs. Mouse told the Teenie Weenies about her husband
and the little people promised at once to help.
“Dear Mrs. Mouse,” said the Lady of Fashion, trying
to comfort the tearful mouse, “you must calm yourself.
You must try to be calm.”
“Great cat’s claws!” exclaimed Mrs. Mouse, “I’d like
to see you be calm with a husband in a fruit jar,” and she
burst into another fit of crying as she hurried back to her
imprisoned husband, followed by the Teenie Weenies.
The Teenie Weenies quickly put up a ladder which
they had brought with them, and the Doctor was soon
lowered into the jar, where he found the poor mouse had
two badly sprained legs. The General ordered the big
windlass brought up, and when a derrick had been built
on top of the fruit jar out of three strong clothespins the injured
mouse was bundled into the biggest teenie weenie
tablecloth and pulled out.
As it was late the Teenie Weenies decided to make the
poor mouse as comfortable as possible, for it was quite a
long way to the mouse’s home, and they thought that
after a night’s rest he could stand the trip with less pain.
.if h
.il fn=p087.jpg w=400px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Clothespin]
.if-
.bn 093.png
.pn +1
The little men made him a soft bed under the cellar
stairs, and after he had eaten a Welsh rarebit, which the
Cook brought to him, he fell into a sound sleep with Mrs.
Mouse sitting watchfully by his side.
“We’ll be over early in the morning and take your
husband home,” said the General, and the Teenie Weenies
started back to the shoe house, for it was fast growing
dark.
.if h
.il fn=p088.jpg w=350px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Soup]
.if-
.bn 094.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
MRS. MOUSE ASKS A FAVOR
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
IT WAS quite late when the Teenie Weenies arrived at
the shoe house, and it was almost nine o’clock when the
little people had finished their supper.
“Well, we’d better all get to bed,” said the General,
pushing his chair back from the table, “for we have got to
be out bright and early in the morning and take Mr.
Mouse back to his home.”
Gogo and the Turk helped the Cook wash up the supper
dishes, and half an hour later every single Teenie Weenie
was sleeping peacefully in his teenie weenie bed.
The Teenie Weenies had been asleep only a short time
when they were awakened by a loud squeaking and
scratching at the front door.
“Who dat?” cried Gogo, putting his head out one of
the tiny windows.
“Its me,” answered Mrs. Mouse. “Oh dear me.”
“What’s the trouble?” asked the General, joining
Gogo at the window.
“Oh gracious me,” wailed Mrs. Mouse, “I’m scared
half out of my senses, for I’m afraid that old cat that lives
next door might get in the cellar, and to think what would
happen to my poor crippled husband just frightens me
half out of my wits.”
“We’ll not desert you, madam,” said the General kindly.
.bn 095.png
.pn +1
“We’ll come over immediately and take your husband
home.”
The Teenie Weenies soon dressed themselves, and
Gogo hurried over to the hospital to call the Doctor.
“Hadn’t we better take along one of the wagons?”
asked the General, when the Teenie Weenie physician
arrived.
“A wagon wouldn’t do,” answered the Doctor. “We
could never take Mr. Mouse home in a wagon. Why, it
would jar the poor mouse’s injured legs until he couldn’t
stand the pain.”
“Great grief!” cried the General, “how in the name of
ripe cherries are we going to move him?”
“Very simple matter,” said the Doctor. “We can carry
him in a hammock, which we can make out of a sheet or
tablecloth. This can be hung on a pole and we can carry
him on our shoulders.”
“I know where there’s a pole that will be just the
thing,” shouted the Turk. “Come on, Gogo, and we’ll
get it.”
The two Teenie Weenies hurried away in the darkness
and presently they returned with a long handled
paint brush.
The Cook brought out an old tablecloth and the
little men set out for the cellar where the poor mouse lay.
It was dark, but the little fellows found their way without
trouble, for Teenie Weenies can see almost as well as
owls in the dark and in a short time they arrived safe and
sound.
.bn 096.png
.pn +1
.if h
.il fn=p091.jpg w=600px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Stretcher for the bird]
.if-
The injured mouse was soon put into the tablecloth
and the ends were made fast to the brush handle. Six of the
strongest Teenie Weenies were chosen to carry the mouse
and they gently lifted the brush handle to their shoulders.
The Teenie Weenies moved off carefully towards the
mouse’s home, which lay at the far end of the cellar.
The Dunce walked at the side of the hammock and
carried the mouse’s long tail over his shoulder, in order to
keep it from dragging on the floor, for the poor fellow’s
spirits were mighty low and his tail would drag.
The mouse was carried through a hole in a brick wall,
which was the entrance to his home, and laid gently on a
bed of soft cotton. The Lady of Fashion helped Mrs.
Mouse nurse her husband back to health and the Doctor
called almost every day, while the Cook made all sorts of
dainty dishes for the invalid.
.bn 097.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
THE SCOTCHMAN GOES SOUTH
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
THE Doctor had been very busy for some time. First the
mouse, who had fallen into the fruit jar, needed a great
deal of attention. The mouse lived quite a distance from
the hospital and the Doctor called on him once a day for
two weeks. Then a squirrel fell sick and the Doctor had to
call on him for several days. The twins had the mumps
and the Scotchman complained of the rheumatism.
The Scotchman’s trouble caused the Doctor considerable
thought. He worried over it for some time and then
decided to take the matter up with the General. Taking
his tall hat from its peg behind the office door he hurried
over to the shoe house.
“General,” he said as he stepped into the teenie weenie
library and closed the door softly, “I’d like to speak to you
for a few minutes.”
“Go right ahead, Doc,” said the General, throwing
aside his work.
“It’s about the Scotchman,” said the Doctor, dropping
into a teenie weenie rocking chair. “Scotty was troubled
with rheumatism in his legs last winter, and the pain has
started again this fall.”
“It’s all on account of his wearing those short kilt
skirts, and going around in his bare knees,” cried the General
anxiously.
.bn 098.png
.pn +1
.if h
.il fn=p093a.jpg align=r w=300px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Teenie Weenie on bird]
.if-
“Yes, I know it is,”
answered the Doctor.
“I’ve tried to get him
to wear trousers during
the winter
weather, but he will
not do it. So, he’s got
to go south to spend
the winter, where there’s no cold weather, or he’ll
be sick.”
.if h
.il fn=p093b.jpg w=600px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Standing around]
.if-
“How in the world will he
ever get down south?” asked the
General.
.bn 099.png
.pn +1
“Oh, I’ve fixed that up all right,” said the Doctor.
“You know our friends, the birds, always go south for the
winter?”
“Yes,” nodded the General.
“Well, I was talking to a bird this morning, and she
told me that she was starting south in a few days. I told
her about our Scotchman, and she said that she would be
glad to take him along. She said that he could ride on her
back. She promised to look after him, and said she would
bring him north again in the spring.”
The General thought the plan a good one, and Scotty
was told to pack his grip, and be ready to go by the end of
the week.
The Teenie Weenies were greatly excited over the
news. The Lady of Fashion mended all the Scotchman’s
clothes, and made him three tiny new shirts for the trip.
The Chinaman washed everything he had that could be
washed, starched and ironed his new shirts beautifully,
and the others did all they could to make him comfortable
and happy.
“Oh my,” said the Dunce, when he heard the news, “I
wish I had rheumatism, too, so I could go along.”
The Teenie Weenies were up at the first break of day
the morning that the Scotchman was to go. At the promised
hour the bird flew up to the shoe house and lighted
on the lawn.
“All aboard for Dixie,” cried the bird, and the Teenie
Weenies all swarmed out with the Scotchman among
them.
.bn 100.png
.pn +1
“Here,” shouted the Cook, running out with a big,
neat package. “Here’s your lunch. I put in all the things
you like best.”
“Jimminie,” muttered the Dunce, as he hungrily
watched the lunch being forced into the Scotchman’s already
overflowing grip, “I just do wish I was a-goin’!”
“We’ll send your trunk to you by mail,” shouted the
Cowboy as the Scotchman climbed up on the back of the
bird.
“All right,” cried Scotty. “Thanks and good-by to everybody.”
The bird spread her wings and gently rose from the
ground. The Teenie Weenies stood shouting good-bys,
and waving hands and handkerchiefs, till bird and
Scotchman were lost to sight in the blue sky overhead.
.if h
.il fn=p095.jpg w=400px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Scotchman’s suitcase]
.if-
.bn 101.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
“F-f-f-f-f-fire! F-f-f-fire!” shouted the excited Dunce, as
he dashed up to the shoe house, gasping for breath.
“Where? What?” cried the General popping his
head out of the front door.
“Over t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-to th-th-th-th-th-th—”
“Great guns!” shouted the General, throwing up his
hands in despair. “The house or whatever it is will burn
down before you are able to tell us where the fire is. Out
with it. Where is the fire? Quick!”
“It’s it’s over t-t-t-t-to th-th-th-th-the Lovers’ house,”
gasped the Dunce, just as the Teenie Weenie fire engine
and hook and ladder dashed up to the shoe house.
“To the Lovers’ house,” cried the General as he
jumped onto the running board of the fire engine.
The little engine fairly flew over the melting snow
and it nearly fell over as it skidded dangerously around
a piece of paving brick which lay in its path. Presently
the fire department arrived at the Lovers’ bungalow,
where they found clouds of smoke pouring out of the
cracks around the back door and kitchen windows.
As Mr. and Mrs. Lover had locked up and gone with
the Doctor to visit a sick mouse near by, it was found
necessary to break in the back door, and soon a stream
of water was thrown into the smoky kitchen.
.bn 102.png
.pn +1
.if h
.il fn=p096.jpg w=557px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Fire!]
.if-
.bn 103.png
.pn +1
The Chinaman was ironing one of the General’s
shirts when he heard the news of the fire, and in the
excitement he ran over to the Lovers’ house, carrying
the hot iron he had been using at the time.
The excited Dunce climbed up onto the roof, and if
it hadn’t been for Gogo he would have chopped a hole
through the roof.
“What you-all goin’ to do with dat ax?” asked the little
colored lad as he watched the Dunce hurry up the
ladder.
“Gonna chop a hole in the roof,” answered the
Dunce. “You’ve always got to do that; they always
chop a hole in the roof when there’s a fire.”
“But there is no fire in the roof,” cried Gogo. “It’s
down in the kitchen.”
“Makes no difference,” said the Dunce; “you always
have to chop a hole in the roof.” And if Gogo hadn’t
grabbed the ax from the Dunce’s hand the foolish fellow
would have done a lot of damage with it.
Almost a teacupful of water was thrown into the tiny
kitchen and it did more damage than the fire, for
really all that burned was a bean, which Mrs. Lover had
put on the stove to cook, and which had boiled dry.
.bn 104.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
THE DUNCE TAKES A TUMBLE
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
“CRICKETY!” exclaimed the Dunce as he dropped into
a chair before the Teenie Weenie fireplace. “Since
the Scotchman left it’s as dull around here as a lady’s
pocket knife,” and the little fellow blinked mournfully into
the fire.
.if h
.il fn=p098.jpg align=l w=300px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Lady sews]
.if-
“What’s wrong, Dunce?”
asked the Lady of Fashion,
looking up from her sewing.
“Ah, I want to take a walk
or somethin’ and everybody
is busy or somethin’.”
“Why don’t you get Gogo
to go along? He always likes
to take a walk,” smiled the
little lady.
“Ah, he an’ the Cowboy an’ the Turk are buildin’ a fly
trap over at the tool house. The Sailor and the Indian are
helpin’ the Cook get a spoiled potato out of the cellar.
Paddy Pinn, the Doctor, the General and the Old Soldier
are havin’ a meetin’ at the hospital and the Clown and the
Poet are out in the back yard talkin’ nonsense with a sparrow,”
growled the Dunce.
“I’d love to take a walk today, but I promised to mend
this dress for Mrs. Lover and it has to be finished by four
.bn 105.png
.pn +1
o’clock, as she and Mr. Lover and the Twins are invited
over to the squirrel’s house for dinner. Why don’t you go
over to the laundry and try Chuck and Zip? Maybe one of
them would like to take a walk.”
“Chink!” shouted the Dunce, “I never thought about
the Chinaman and Zip,” and jumping up he hurried over
to the old tea pot, where he found Zip toasting his
shins before the fire.
The Chinaman had just gone over to the hospital to
deliver some shirts to the Doctor, but Zip was ready for
a walk, and in a few minutes he slipped on his sweater
and the two Teenie Weenies set off together.
There was one place the Teenie Weenies loved to
visit best of all and that was any big house where big
people lived, for there were always so many big and
wonderful things to see.
The two little fellows made their way straight to the
nearest big house, and crawling under the door they
began to investigate the place.
“Let’s crawl up on that,” said the Dunce, pointing to
a shelf high above their heads, “and maybe we can find
somethin’ good to eat.”
After a hard climb the two Teenie Weenies landed
on the shelf, but they found nothing but glass fruit jars,
which towered above their heads.
“S-S-S-Say, Zip!” said the Dunce as he nodded his
head in the direction of one of the jars, “that jar hasn’t
got any top on it and there are pickled peaches in it.
I’ve just been thinkin’ that we could get up on the shelf
.bn 106.png
.pn +1
above and you could hold a string while I slid down
into the jar and got some of the fruit.”
.if h
.il fn=p100.jpg align=l w=200px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Slide down the string]
.if-
After a long hunt the two Teenie
Weenies found a piece of string, and
climbing up to the shelf the Dunce
started to slide down into the jar. He
got nearly half way down when the
string snapped and the little chap
dropped with a loud splash into the
juice.
Poor Zip was scared half out of his
wits and ran off for help as fast as his
legs would carry him. He found three
of the Teenie Weenies in the tool
house, and grabbing up a piece of rope
they followed the little fellow at top
speed.
When they climbed up onto the
shelf they all burst out with laughter,
for the Dunce was a funny sight, standing
on a pickled peach with the juice
dripping off the end of his nose.
The Cowboy threw a rope to the Dunce and the rest
of the Teenie Weenies soon pulled him to safety.
“S-S-S-Say,” gasped the Dunce, rubbing the juice out
of his eyes, “don’t t-t-t-tell the General. He’d give me
an awful scolding for getting into this mess.”
“Well, you know that it’s not right to go meddling
into things,” said the Cowboy, “but if you promise not
.bn 107.png
.pn +1
to try anything like this again, we’ll not tell on you.”
“I’ll promise,” answered the Dunce, “bu-bu-bu-but
look at my clothes, they are spoiled.”
“Me fix that all right,” cried Zip. “Me take you to
laundry and wash clothes for you.”
Taking a roundabout way so they would not be seen,
the Dunce and Zip soon reached the laundry, where the
Dunce stripped to the skin and crawled into the Chinaman’s
bed, while Zip washed and dried the soiled
clothes.
.if h
.il fn=p101.jpg align=l w=600px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Peach jar]
.if-
“They still smell a little of the pickled peaches,” said
the Dunce, as he put on his
clothes.
“Your clothes not smell much
like peach,” said Zip, sniffing at
the Dunce. “Nobody notice him.”
As it was nearly supper time,
the Dunce hurried over to the
shoe house, and when he drew his
.bn 108.png
.pn +1
chair up to the tiny dinner table the Lady of Fashion
looked suspiciously at him.
“Something smells funny,” remarked the little lady.
“Smells sort of like pickled peaches,” chuckled the
Cowboy, winking at the Turk.
The poor Dunce turned as red as a cranberry and he
was most uncomfortable for a few minutes, but fortunately
the talk turned to other matters and he felt very
much relieved.
While he ate his supper the Dunce made up his mind
that he would never enter another pickle jar and to his
credit let it be said that he has strictly kept his word.
.if h
.il fn=p102.jpg w=400px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Dunce washing his clothes]
.if-
.bn 109.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
THE CLOWN FALLS OFF A SPOOL AND KNOCKS DOWN A HOUSE
.sp 2
.dc 0.4 0.65
AFTER his experience in the pickle jar the Dunce made
a resolution to try to be good whenever he went into
a big house. But the busy little fellow couldn’t keep out
of mischief, and it wasn’t long before he got into trouble
again. He didn’t really mean to be naughty, for he was a
most kind hearted little chap, but being so full of life and
so curious he simply couldn’t be quiet.
He loved to look into everything he saw, and being a
good climber he wanted to crawl over everything. The
little people had been skating all morning and they had
stopped at a house, on their way home, to warm themselves.
The Dunce had gone prowling about the place
and had found a child’s play room with many wonderful
toys in it which he wished his friends to see.
“Jimminie Christmas!” he shouted, “there’s building
blocks and dolls, chairs and tables and everything! Come
on in!”
The Teenie Weenies followed the Dunce to a nursery
where they found all sorts of pretty toys. The little folks
enjoyed themselves for some time looking at the many
playthings, but the thing they liked most was a beautiful
arch or house made out of building blocks.
Of course, the Dunce had to climb to the very top of
.bn 110.png
.pn +1
the house, where he sat shouting at the Teenie Weenies
below.
.if h
.il fn=p104.jpg align=l w=400px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Dunce falling down]
.if-
“Jinks!” he cried, “you get a dandy view up here; I
can see way over to the
other side of the room.”
“You’d better come
down,” warned the Doctor.
“The first thing you
know you’ll fall off
and break your foolish
neck.”
At this moment the
Clown, who had been
balancing himself on a
spool, suddenly slipped
and went crashing into
the house.
“Run for your lives!”
screamed the Cook, as
the house toppled forward.
.bn 111.png
.pn +1
One of the small boys, who had started to climb
up the house, clung screaming to the column and the
Dunce gave a mighty leap off the top, while those who
were on the floor ran with all their might.
The house came crashing down and it was the luckiest
thing in the world that no one was badly hurt. Outside
of being badly scared and pretty well shaken up the
small boy and Dunce were none the worse for their fall.
“This is a fine pickle,” said the General. “Now we’ll
have to get pulleys and ropes and build this house up
again just as we found it.”
.if h
.il fn=p105.jpg align=l w=150px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Boy with nail]
.if-
The Teenie Weenies hurried home for the necessary
tools and it took fully four hours of hard work to build
the house again just as they had found it. The little folks
did the work so well that the child who had first built the
house never suspected for a moment what
had happened to it.
That night Rufus Rhyme wrote a verse
about the Dunce’s fall. It was called
“Humpty Dumpty Dunce,” and here it is
just as the Poet set it down:
.pm verse-start
Twenty times a day or more, the Dunce goes tumbling on the floor,
He must be made of iron and rocks to stand so many bumpy knocks.
.pm verse-end
.bn 112.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
THE ARMY IS PUT TO ROUT
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
THE old derby hat which the Teenie Weenies used
as a school house was also used as an armory. The
second floor was given over to the army and here the
little soldiers drilled every Wednesday night.
Their tiny guns and uniforms were kept in little
cases which stood around the room. The uniforms were
spotless and the tiny guns shone as bright as the new
moon.
About four times a year the General ordered the
army out for a practice march. “It toughens the men up
and makes better soldiers out of them,” he said, and most
of the little soldiers seemed to like the experience.
One morning a tiny paper was pasted on the bulletin
board and this is what it said, just as it was written by
the General:
.pm verse-start
SPECIAL NOTICE
Thursday morning at eight o’clock every
enrolled member of the army will meet at the
armory for a practice march to the big woods
and back.
The General,
Commander in chief of the
Teenie Weenie army.
.pm verse-end
“Ah, crickety!” growled the Dunce, when he had read
the notice. “It’s too cold to go marchin’ around in the
snow.”
.bn 113.png
.pn +1
“It won’t hurt you any,” said Paddy Pinn, who was
standing near. “It’s good for you—that’s what it is—it’s
good for you.”
“It may be good for me all right,” answered the
Dunce, “but it would be much better for me to be sittin’
in front of the fire in weather like this.”
On Thursday morning the little men gathered at
the armory promptly at eight o’clock and when they had
slipped into their uniforms the General stepped onto a
little platform, at one side of the room, and made a
speech.
“Men,” he began, “while we get a great deal of good
drilling in the armory once a week, it is quite necessary
for us to get out of doors occasionally. We need the long
marches to keep the army in good shape, for we never
know just when it may be necessary to tackle a hard
task and it is very wise to be prepared.”
The soldiers formed in line in front of the school
house and when the command was given the little army
swung off, led by the General, who looked every inch a
commander, sitting astride a big gray mouse.
As the little army trudged along through the snow
they were suddenly thrown into a panic by the unexpected
appearance of a huge rabbit, who popped into
view over a snow bank directly in their path.
The appearance of the rabbit was so sudden the
little army were frightened half out of their wits, and most
of the soldiers turned and ran, in spite of the commands
of the Old Soldier.
.bn 114.png
.pn +1
The mouse, on which the General rode, reared up on
his hind feet, and the General was tumbled off into the
snow.
“Well! Well! This is rather unusual!” cried the rabbit.
“This is the first time I ever saw anybody run away from
me; I’m usually the one that runs.”
The rabbits voice was so pleasant the Teenie Weenies
felt quite sure he would not harm them and soon they
were gathered all about the big fellow, feeling his soft
fur and asking many questions.
“Great grief!” exploded the General, picking himself
up and brushing the snow off his coat. “That’s a fine
way to come bouncing onto an army. You came on
us so quietly and suddenly you gave us a great start.”
“I have to go along quietly,” said the rabbit. “I have
to sneak around, for there are so many hunters and dogs,
who are always on the lookout for us poor rabbits. This
spring I had thirty-three sons and daughters and now—now
I am a widower with only seventeen children. Only
last night I had to call in old Doc. Woodchuck to take
some shot out of my oldest boy’s skin.”
“Ah, Mr. Rabbit,” cried the Poet, “your sad story has
given me an idea for a verse. While you were talking
to my friends here I have been scribbling and with your
kind permission I’ll recite what I’ve written.”
“I would be delighted to hear it if it isn’t too long,”
said the rabbit. “You see, I’ve got to always be on the
jump; can’t stay very long in one place.”
.if h
.il fn=p108.jpg w=557px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Rabbit in the snow]
.if-
“This verse is very short,” said the Poet. “In fact, it
.bn 115.png
.pn +1
.bn 116.png
.pn +1
is no longer than its name. It’s called ‘The Tale of a
Rabbit.’”
.pm verse-start
“The rabbit’s life is full of strife,
His days are short and few;
For dodging shot becomes his lot
From the cradle to the stew.”
.pm verse-end
“A very truthful and beautiful piece of poetry,” said
the rabbit, brushing a tear from his furry cheek. “I hope
you will excuse me now, for I must hurry home and call
the roll and see whether any more of my children are
missing.”
The Teenie Weenie soldiers watched the rabbit hop
away and then they fell into line and continued their
march to the big woods.
Paddy Pinn and the Cook had gone ahead of the
army with food for the soldiers. They drove one of the
army wagons, which was pulled by a team of mice, and
when the hungry little soldiers arrived they found a
thimble full of hot soup and other good things to eat.
After the men had rested for a time they set out on
the trip home, where they arrived safely, a tired but
happy and rosy, cheeked army.
.bn 117.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
COUGHING SYRUP
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
“GENERAL,” said the Doctor, walking into the Teenie
Weenie sitting room where the General sat before
the fireplace, “I need some help.”
“What’s the trouble, Doc? Has the Dunce been getting
into trouble again?”
.if h
.il fn=p110.jpg align=l w=250px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: A plate]
.if-
“No,” answered the
Doctor, “that bump
he got the other day
when he tumbled off
the block house ought
to keep him steady for
a while,” and the Doctor
drew up a chair
and sat down, while
the General threw several
matches onto the
fire.
“What I wanted to tell you was this,” continued the
Doctor. “Several of the children have a bad cough and—”
“I knew it, I knew it,” cried the Old Soldier. “I knew
they’d get their feet wet. They were over in the garden
yesterday, sliding on some ice in a saucer, and I told
them that ice was dreadfully thin and it would break, and
they’d slip in and get wet and catch their death of cold.”
“You’re right,” said the Doctor, “they got their feet
.bn 118.png
.pn +1
wet, caught bad colds, and I haven’t a bit of cough syrup
in the house.”
“I know where there’s some,” cried the Clown, who
had been listening to the conversation. “The Dunce and
I were looking for some pills to use as bowling balls, and
we saw a big bottle of cough syrup on the bathroom window
sill of that house next door.”
“We’ll go over and get some for you, Doc,” said the
General. “It will do us good to have the exercise.”
Glad of an excuse to get out, the Teenie Weenies were
soon on their way after the cough syrup.
The window sill on which the bottle of syrup stood
was very high, but the Clown and the Cowboy soon
climbed to the top. Lowering a piece of thread that two
Teenie Weenies had carried between them for just such
use, they soon pulled the rest of the little people up beside
them.
.if h
.il fn=p111.jpg align=r w=150px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Teenie Weenie and spoon]
.if-
“Now,” said the Turk, who had been examining the
bottle of syrup, “four or five of you fellows
get hold and tip the bottle, and I’ll
hold the spoon somebody has thoughtfully
left beside it, while you pour out a
dose.”
“Goodness gracious,” cried the Lady
of Fashion, “we don’t need a whole spoonful!”
“Well, it says on the bottle, one teaspoonful
for children,”’ said the Turk.
“So it does, so it does,” cried the little
.bn 119.png
.pn +1
lady, as she stood on her tip toes and carefully read the
label on the bottle.
“You see I’m right, don’t you?” asked the Turk. “The
Doctor told me to read carefully what it said on the bottle,
and to bring about three doses. It says one teaspoonful
is a dose for children, so we’ll take about three spoonfuls.”
.if h
.il fn=p112.jpg w=600px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Bottle]
.if-
“But that does seem an awful lot of medicine,” said
the Lady of Fashion doubtfully.
“It makes no difference,” announced the Turk, “I’m
going according to directions.”
The Teenie Weenies poured out three spoonfuls of the
syrup, which filled half an English walnut shell.
“Mercy on us,” cried the Doctor, when he saw the
Teenie Weenies carrying the heavy load of syrup up the
walk to the shoe house, “you don’t bathe in cough syrup.”
.bn 120.png
.pn +1
“Well,” muttered the Turk, “I went according to directions.”
“The directions are all right for big children,”
laughed the Doctor, “but ours are Teenie Weenie children.”
“Oh, my,” exclaimed the Turk. “I never thought of
that!”
“Well we can put it away and keep it,” said the Doctor,
“for it’s likely we’ll need it again before the winter is
over.”
.if h
.il fn=p113.jpg align=r w=200px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Teenie Weenies falling off can]
.if-
The Doctor took out enough of the syrup to give the
children each several doses and the rest was put in the
half of a large English walnut.
It was then carried to
the cellar, covered tightly
and put away for future use.
Of course the Dunce had
to get into trouble while the
rest of the Teenie Weenies
were getting the syrup.
He climbed to the top of
a talcum powder box, which
stood on the window sill,
and when he tried to pull the
Chinaman up the foolish fellow
slipped and tumbled off.
He nearly fell on top of Zip,
but that little chap managed
to get safely out of the way.
.bn 121.png
.pn +1
The Dunce was badly shaken up by the fall and he
almost knocked out one of his teenie weenie teeth.
“That’s the last time I’ll ever try climbing onto a
talcum powder box,” he said as he felt the tooth which
had been bumped. “They’re so awful slippery.”
.if h
.il fn=p114.jpg w=400px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Two Teenie Weenies carrying water]
.if-
.bn 122.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
THE CLOWN HAS A NARROW ESCAPE
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
“WELL, we’re goin’ to have a change in the weather,”
announced Grandpa, as he peered out the tiny sitting
room window at the sky.
“What makes you think so?” asked the Turk, who was
playing checkers with the Cook.
“That toe of mine is hurting,” answered the old man,
“and that’s a sure sign there’s going to be a change,” and
with this prophecy Grandpa shuffled upstairs to bed.
Grandpa was quite right about the change in the
weather, for it grew cold in the night, and the Lady of
Fashion, who had to get up about midnight to give several
of the children their cough syrup, noticed that the
snow was falling.
In the morning the ground was covered with almost an
inch of soft white snow and the little people shivered as
they slipped on their tiny clothes.
After breakfast, several of the Teenie Weenies went
out to play in the snow, but most of the little people were
contented to sit before the warm fire.
“This snow storm reminds me of an experience of
mine in forty-nine,” said Grandpa, who pulled his chair
so near the fire he almost scorched his shins. “I was cuttin’
up an old ruler for fire wood one afternoon, when—”
“HELP! HELP!” screamed a voice from the outside.
.bn 123.png
.pn +1
“What’s that?” cried the General, jumping to his feet.
Suddenly the front door burst open, and a frightened
Teenie Weenie boy sprang into the room.
“Quick—help,” panted the small boy. “The Clown
has broken through the ice, and—and he—he can’t get
out! Quick—help!”
“Land sakes,” cried the General, “where’s the
Clown!”
“He’s over in the chicken yard, in a pan of wa-water,”
gasped the small boy.
With all speed the Teenie Weenies made their way to
the chicken yard. As they hurried up to the pan they
could hear the Clown faintly crying for help. The Turk
and the Cook boosted the Sailor up to the top of the pan,
where he caught on, and pulled himself over the edge.
The poor Clown’s head was only just out of the water,
and he was holding fast to the edge of the ice.
“Throw me a board or a match, or something strong,”
shouted the Sailor to the others, waiting below. At once
the little people began to dig about in the snow for the desired
board.
“Oh dear,” cried the Dunce, “if we only had a straw!
I’ve always heard that a drowning man catches at a
straw!”
“Here,” shouted the Old Soldier. “Here’s a burnt
match, but it’s frozen to the ground!”
The Turk grabbed the match and with a mighty
heave he pulled it free and threw it up to the waiting
Sailor. The Sailor carefully pushed the match out across
.bn 124.png
.pn +1
the hole, and with its help he soon pulled the half frozen
Clown from the water.
.if h
.il fn=p117.jpg w=600px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Frozen bowl]
.if-
The poor fellow was carried quickly to the shoe house,
where he was given a hot bath, wrapped up in a warm
comforter and set before the fireplace. The Cook made
cocoa for the Clown and brought it to him steaming hot.
“J-J-J-Jimminie f-f-f-fishhooks,” stuttered the Dunce,
as he watched the Clown sip the delicious cocoa, “I-I-I-I
.bn 125.png
.pn +1
wish I’d have fallen into the pan so I could get some of that
good cocoa.”
“You don’t need to fall into a pan to get some,”
laughed the kind hearted little Cook, “I’ll bring you
some,” and in a few seconds he handed the Dunce a
steaming cup.
“Crickety, but this is good,” cried the Dunce, as he sat
down beside the Clown. “J-J-J-Jimminie, I’m glad you fell
into that pan.”
“So am I,” answered the Clown, as he drained his cup.
“Now I want you to tell me how this happened,” said
the General when the Clown had finished his cocoa.
“Why, a couple of us were skating,” said the Clown,
“and all at once the ice cracked, and—and I fell in!”
“Now then, I don’t want to hear of any more skating
in pans,” said the General, shaking his finger at the open-mouthed
Teenie Weenies, standing about.
“Yes, sir,” several meekly answered.
“That is,” continued the General, “unless they are
shallow pie pans, out of which you could wade. Remember!”
“We will,” promised the little people.
.bn 126.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 4
.h2
A SQUIRREL TO THE RESCUE
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
THE weather continued cold for several days and the
Teenie Weenies enjoyed almost a solid week of skating.
An old dripping pan, which stood under a water
spout at the corner of a big house near by, made a wonderful
place to try out their tiny skates.
The ice was fully an inch thick, and as it was frozen
solid it made a safe place to skate. The little people had
a fine time on the smooth ice, but at the end of the week
a thaw set in and they were forced to walk for their exercise.
“I’d advise you people to all go out and take a long
walk, for I’m going to have a dandy dinner and I want you
to have good appetites so you’ll enjoy it,” said the Cook
Sunday morning as he stood tying on his apron in the
Teenie Weenie dining room door.
“Wh-Wh-Wh-What are you going to-to-to have for
dinner?” asked the Dunce. “A baked prune?”
“Well, here’s the menu,” grinned the Cook. “Potato
soup, planked minnow, mashed peas and grape salad. For
dessert we’ll have a date stuffed with chopped nuts and
whipped cream.”
“Oh, good, good!” shouted the Dunce, catching the
Lady of Fashion around the waist and dancing about the
room.
.bn 127.png
.pn +1
In a few minutes the Teenie Weenies bundled themselves
into their warm muffs, sweaters and mittens and
started out on a long walk.
“Let’s go down and see if the creek is frozen over,”
said the General. “I haven’t been down that way for a
long time, and it will make a nice walk for us.”
There was quite a lot of snow on the ground, but as it
was rather solid the little people were able to walk on it
without much trouble, and in a short time they stood on
the bank of the creek. For some time the Teenie Weenies
stood watching the huge cakes of ice as they floated down
the stream. In order to get a better view, the Lady of
Fashion and the Doctor stepped out on a piece of ice
which had not been broken away from the bank, and,
to the horror of the little people, the piece of ice on which
they stood snapped off and floated out into the surging
stream.
It was impossible to swim among the sharp cakes of
ice, as a Teenie Weenie would have been ground to
pieces, for some of the cakes of ice were as big as soda
crackers.
“Oh, jimminie crickets!” cried the frightened Dunce.
“The Lady of Fashion and the Doctor will be drowned
and then they won’t get any of that go-go-good dinner
the Cook is getting ready for us,” and the poor Dunce
burst into tears.
.if h
.il fn=p121.jpg w=571px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Frozen stream]
.if-
“Hold on a minute, Doc!” shouted a voice, and to the
astonishment of the frightened Teenie Weenies a squirrel
ran up a bush which hung over the stream. Hanging
.bn 128.png
.pn +1
.bn 129.png
.pn +1
by his front feet, the squirrel swung his body down over
the stream so that his bushy tail was only an inch or two
from the water, and as the Lady of Fashion and the Doctor
floated by he yelled to the Doctor to catch on.
Catching the Lady of Fashion about the waist, the
Doctor grabbed the tail and the squirrel quickly pulled
the two Teenie Weenies up to the bush, down which they
safely crawled to the bank.
The Teenie Weenies were not the only ones who enjoyed
a good dinner that day, for the little people
presented the squirrel and his wife with four hickory nuts,
five English walnuts, and a half dozen almonds for his
bravery in rescuing the Lady of Fashion and the Doctor.
.if h
.il fn=p122.jpg w=400px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Walnuts]
.if-
.bn 130.png
.pn +1
.pb
.sp 2
.if h
.il fn=p123.jpg w=493px
.if-
.if t
[‡Illustration: Hat house]
.if-
.bn 131.png
.pn +1
.sp 4
.h2
A CHRISTMAS PRESENT
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
ON CHRISTMAS morning the Dunce was first to jump
out of bed. While he was getting into his teenie
weenie clothes he happened to glance out of the tiny
window.
“G-G-G-G-Great c-c-c-cat f-f-f-fish!” he yelled, and
his eyes nearly popped out of his head, for on the walk
before the school house stood a huge box.
“Get up, J-J-Jerry,” cried the Dunce, pulling the
bed clothes from the sleeping Clown. “There’s a C-C-C-Christmas
p-p-p-present out in the front yard and it’s as
big as, as, as a—jimminie—it’s as big as everything,”
and the Dunce dashed out of the house at top speed.
All the little folks had been awakened by the noisy
Dunce and in a few minutes they came pouring out of
the shoe house like a stream of water.
“It’s got a stamp on it and everything,” shouted the
excited Dunce, who had crawled up onto the box. “It’s
addressed to us too. The mail man must have left it.
Hooray!” and the Dunce danced in such a comical way
that all the little folks nearly burst from laughing.
Some kind person had sent the little people a pound
box of candy and they were too excited to eat their
breakfast, so the General told them they could open the
box at once.
.bn 132.png
.pn +1
It took a great deal of labor for the little folks to cut
away the paper and remove the box cover.
“Oh WHILLIKER!” howled the Dunce when the
cover had been removed, “it’s full of chocolates and bon
bons, and great cats’ eyes, there’s a stick of peppermint
candy.”
“I don’t know where in the world we’re going to
store all this candy,” said the General. “There’s enough
to last us a year.”
“You can store it in my bed room,” cried the Dunce,
“only leave just enough room for me to sleep in!”
“You mean, leave enough room so you can eat yourself
to death,” laughed the Cowboy.
“We can put a little of it in the cellar,” said the
Cook. “Maybe two or three pieces.”
“There’s room for four or five pieces in the tool
house,” suggested the Old Soldier, “and I think we can
put the rest in the upper floor of the school house.”
It was decided to store as much as possible in the
school house and the little men began carrying the
candy in as fast as they could.
“We can’t put any more in here,” shouted the Old
Soldier, who came running out of the school house after
several pieces had been stored away. “We’ve stored
eight chocolates and a stick of peppermint upstairs and
the beams have begun to bend. The floor will come
tumbling down if we put another piece up there.”
Other places had to be found to store the candy
and when the last piece had been put away there wasn’t
.bn 133.png
.pn +1
a bit of vacant space left anywhere in the little houses
under the rose bush.
“Great grief!” exclaimed the General, when the last
piece had been tucked away, “we’ll have enough candy
to last us the rest of our natural lives.”
“Don’t you worry about that, General,” cried the
Dunce. “I can eat a whole chocolate myself.”
After the Teenie Weenies had eaten their Christmas
dinner, a whole chocolate was placed on the table and
every one of the little people was allowed to eat all the
candy he wanted.
The Dunce ate himself sick, but the next morning
he was ready for more and the General made up his
mind that the candy would not last as long as he first
thought it would.
Several of the candies were stuffed with nuts and
these the Teenie Weenies gave to their friend the squirrel,
but most of it they kept for themselves and several
pieces are still stored, this very minute, in the little
houses under the rose bush.
.bn 134.png
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.pb
.sp 4
.h2 id=toast
MOTHER BUNCH DRINKS A TOAST
.sp 2
.dc 0.2 0.65
“WELL my toe is on the rampage again,” announced
Grandpa, several evenings after the rescue of the
Doctor and the Lady of Fashion. “Whenever that old toe
gets to hurtin’, just look out for a change in the weather.
It’ll be mighty cold tomorrow or I’m no weather
prophet.”
“I hope it gets cold enough to freeze the ice again.
That’s what I do,” cried Paddy Pinn, who was fond of
skating, and had some new racing skates that he was
anxious to try.
“I remember once in forty-nine,” said Grandpa,
“when the ice was frozen about six inches deep. I had
to—” But he got no further with his story, for the Teenie
Weenies started upstairs to bed and the old gentleman
soon followed their example.
The next morning the weather was very cold and the
Teenie Weenies were quite happy to stay indoors where
it was warm and comfortable.
The Chinaman was braver than the rest, for that little
chap wrapped himself up good and warm and set out to
visit a mouse that lived near the rosebush.
“Hey, there, you Chinaman!” shouted a voice, as the
little fellow hurried past a chicken yard.
The Chinaman glanced up at a huge chicken head
.bn 135.png
.pn +1
that smiled down at him through the slats on the fence,
and taking off his hat he made a very polite bow.
“Glood mornings,” said the little chap. “It muchee
clold mornings.”
“Cold!” exclaimed the old hen, “I should say it was!
I feel just like a feathered icicle and I wish I had a pair of
nice warm felt boots for my feet—they’re as cold as a
doorknob.”
“Allee same me muchee sorry and me will give you
me muffler,” said the little fellow, unwinding the tiny
scarf from about his neck.
“I’m much obliged, I’m much obliged, but, whistling
gizzard, that little muffler of yours wouldn’t keep my
little toe nail warm,” laughed the old hen. “However,
there is something you can do for me which would help
me a great deal.”
“Allee same you tell me and me be muchee glad to
help,” cried the Chinaman.
“Well,” said Mother Bunch, for that was the old hen’s
name, “I’m as dry as a Saratoga chip. I haven’t had a
drink for three days. There’s a pan of water in my coop,
but it’s froze. I beg your pardon, I mean frozen. I’ve
pecked at the ice with my bill until it’s as sore as an
ingrowing pin feather and I haven’t made a dent in it.”
“Allee same me tell Gleneral and he come up klick
and chop hole in ice,” shouted the Chinaman.
“That’s the idea! That’s the idea!” exclaimed the old
hen. “You see the folks who feed me just throw the corn
into the pen and they never look at the pan of water and
.bn 136.png
.pn +1
of course they never suspect that it’s frozen. If you’ll
tell the General to come over and cut a hole so I can get
a drink you will be doing an old lady a great favor.”
“Me tell’m klick,” cried the Chinaman, and off he ran
for the shoe house as fast as he could.
The Chinaman told his story to the General and a
few minutes later a number of the little people were on
their way to Mrs. Bunch’s coop. The old hen saw the
little people coming and she was so excited she sat down
and laid an egg right before the Teenie Weenies.
In just a few minutes the little folks set about cutting
a hole in the ice, and it was quite a hard task, for the
water was frozen to the depth of one Teenie Weenie foot.
“Well, here’s to your health,” said Mother Bunch
when the little men had chopped a hole through the ice,
and dipping her big yellow beak into the cold water she
filled her bill and raising her head she let it trickle down
her throat.
The pan which held the old hen’s water had a long
handle and the Dunce thought it great fun to crawl up
on the handle and slide down to the edge of the pan. He
did this several times with great success, but finally
failed to catch the edge of the pan and he slid off onto
the ice, and dropped kersplash into the cold water.
He was dragged out by the Turk and was sent home
in disgrace, to the great amusement of the old hen.
Mrs. Bunch presented the egg she laid to the Teenie
Weenies for their kindness, and the little people went
home, happy to have such a friendly neighbor.
.sp 2
.pb
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.sp 4
.dv class='tnbox'
.ul
.it Transcriber’s Notes:
.ul indent=1
.it Missing or obscured punctuation was corrected.
.it Unbalanced quotation marks were left as the author intended.
.it Typographical errors were silently corrected.
.it Spelling and hyphenation were made consistent when a predominant \
form was found in this book; otherwise it was not changed.
.if t
.it Illustrations marked with ‡ were created by the transcriber.
.it Text in italics is enclosed by underscores (_italics_).
.if-
.ul-
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